Brandon McCann
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Flight 1618"Young boy missing en route to Orlando, Florida
23 total reviews
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Goodness!
As you state it is all too easy for any regular day to turn to a living nightmare in seconds.
The introductory scene setting affirms the familiarity and normality of just another
long haul flight.
Nothing seems unusual or out of place until...Brandon is gone without a trace.
A great introduction with a twist.
:-) Shirley
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
  |
Goodness!
As you state it is all too easy for any regular day to turn to a living nightmare in seconds.
The introductory scene setting affirms the familiarity and normality of just another
long haul flight.
Nothing seems unusual or out of place until...Brandon is gone without a trace.
A great introduction with a twist.
:-) Shirley
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
I like twisted endings in my stories. See you do too.
Much more to come so I invite you to ride along.
Comment from bookishfabler
THis looks like it will be a good one. I want to finish or catch up on your autobiography as well. I am behind again.
We have gotten very busy with jobs this past month. Therefore I have not been on Fanstory. Even though I do have to wean through my messages, which I hate doing, I wanted to read this.
Hugs Heidi
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
|
THis looks like it will be a good one. I want to finish or catch up on your autobiography as well. I am behind again.
We have gotten very busy with jobs this past month. Therefore I have not been on Fanstory. Even though I do have to wean through my messages, which I hate doing, I wanted to read this.
Hugs Heidi
Comment Written 29-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this chapter.
Much more to come so I invite you to ride along.
Comment from Mabaker
Oh heck now where did he go, or was he taken this has promises of being a good story, I must keep my eyes open for chapter two.
Very well written, I enjoyed it. Regards Mabaker
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2017
|
Oh heck now where did he go, or was he taken this has promises of being a good story, I must keep my eyes open for chapter two.
Very well written, I enjoyed it. Regards Mabaker
Comment Written 24-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2017
-
Chapter Two is posted and called Sordid Affairs.
Glad you enjoyed this posting.
Appreciate you taking the time to read it and to write a review.
Comment from pome lover
well, you have certainly left us in suspense. and two possible suspects. Poor Becky - big mistake.
So, you've got two different stories going at the same time, with the story of your life and this one. quite a challenge. I look forward to the next chapters of both.
It's obvious that you love to write - which is wonderful. I know the feeling. And the fact that you are receiving such glowing reviews must be rewarding. good job.
Katharine - pome lover
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
|
well, you have certainly left us in suspense. and two possible suspects. Poor Becky - big mistake.
So, you've got two different stories going at the same time, with the story of your life and this one. quite a challenge. I look forward to the next chapters of both.
It's obvious that you love to write - which is wonderful. I know the feeling. And the fact that you are receiving such glowing reviews must be rewarding. good job.
Katharine - pome lover
Comment Written 23-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this posting.
Appreciate your comments and support.
Thanks for taking the time to read this tale and to write a review.
Comment from Jake P.
The subject of your story is important in the midst of all the children that go missing each day. I especially like the last line:
"In a crowded airport, among a massive horde of humanity scurrying about in a multitude of different directions, Brandon McCann vanished."
The changes in the points of view (Brandon's, the old man's, then Becky's) jolted my reading. Focusing on Brandon's POV would seem to tell the story best, but the ending that I like (mentioned above) would have to change.
I like the descriptions of Brandon's remembrances of his grandparents farm...presented very well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
 |
The subject of your story is important in the midst of all the children that go missing each day. I especially like the last line:
"In a crowded airport, among a massive horde of humanity scurrying about in a multitude of different directions, Brandon McCann vanished."
The changes in the points of view (Brandon's, the old man's, then Becky's) jolted my reading. Focusing on Brandon's POV would seem to tell the story best, but the ending that I like (mentioned above) would have to change.
I like the descriptions of Brandon's remembrances of his grandparents farm...presented very well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this posting.
More to come so I invite you to ride along.
Appreciate you taking the time to read my hen scratchings and to write a review.
Comment from oliver818
Very nice story, powerful and a good reminder of what not to let kids do. It's well written, you did a good job of capturing a 13 year old point of view. Thanks for sharing and have a really great day
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
|
Very nice story, powerful and a good reminder of what not to let kids do. It's well written, you did a good job of capturing a 13 year old point of view. Thanks for sharing and have a really great day
Comment Written 23-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this posting.
Appreciate you taking the time to read it and to write a review.
Comment from Caressa_08
Very well written and liked how you gave the reader the history of the many types of encounters that Brandon traveled to his grandparents in Florida, and being a grandmother myself ,could almost feel the anticipation of seeing my grandson, who lives in Houston, Texas, getting off one of those flights...And now a thirteen year old with raging hormones..Well, it happens about that age for some these days...Also, unfortunately, young teens like Brandon disappearing..And Good true to life, emotional suspense at the end....Being an exceptional way to start a novel it does seem.
Caressa_08
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017
 |
Very well written and liked how you gave the reader the history of the many types of encounters that Brandon traveled to his grandparents in Florida, and being a grandmother myself ,could almost feel the anticipation of seeing my grandson, who lives in Houston, Texas, getting off one of those flights...And now a thirteen year old with raging hormones..Well, it happens about that age for some these days...Also, unfortunately, young teens like Brandon disappearing..And Good true to life, emotional suspense at the end....Being an exceptional way to start a novel it does seem.
Caressa_08
Comment Written 22-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this posting.
I appreciate you taking the time to read it and to write a review.
Your comments, support, and the six stars appreciated.
Comment from apky
I take it this story is only just beginning.
If so, I look forward to reading more. As usual, your writing is excellent, Brett. And I'm all too familiar with your "inside knowledge" of a pubescent boy, so Brandon may have quite an adventure ahead of him.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017
|
I take it this story is only just beginning.
If so, I look forward to reading more. As usual, your writing is excellent, Brett. And I'm all too familiar with your "inside knowledge" of a pubescent boy, so Brandon may have quite an adventure ahead of him.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this posting.
Several FanStorians have wondered if this is the beginning of a book. Perhaps I should explore that option?
Appreciate you taking the time to read it and write a review.
Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from emptypage
The image is adorable. The story is tragic, but well written. Is this part of a book? It doesn't have chapters listed, but some characters on the list are not in this chapter AND you left a helluva cliffhanger.
You wrote, "However, Brandon wasn't sure he wanted to encounter any alligators though." However and though have the same meaning, so you only need one, not both, in this sentence.
Good story.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
|
The image is adorable. The story is tragic, but well written. Is this part of a book? It doesn't have chapters listed, but some characters on the list are not in this chapter AND you left a helluva cliffhanger.
You wrote, "However, Brandon wasn't sure he wanted to encounter any alligators though." However and though have the same meaning, so you only need one, not both, in this sentence.
Good story.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of my story.
I will probably make a book out of this since several FanStorians have asked me about that.
Appreciate you taking the time to read my story, write a review, and the spag catch.
Comment from country ranch writer
Just when everything in a child's life is going great it get uprooted suddenly and now no one has any explanation as to what has happened to him. The lady took her eyes off of him for a moment. It was her job to get him from point A to point B now who is the blame
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
|
Just when everything in a child's life is going great it get uprooted suddenly and now no one has any explanation as to what has happened to him. The lady took her eyes off of him for a moment. It was her job to get him from point A to point B now who is the blame
Comment Written 21-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed my story.
Appreciate you taking the time to read it and to write a review.
-
Smiles
