Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

Hi Sandra,

I found no nits this time. I'm still wondering who is Elowen? You don't have that name listed at the end of this chapter. I'm glad she found the boy and got to the center of the issue she was there for. I hope Lady Gwendolyne can be a ghost and help answer some of the mystery.

Joy xx

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Mar-2018

I think you'll find her name will be listed from now on. I don't know why I left it off. As you are catching up, I won't say what's happened in the next parts. You'll have to tell me how you think this story compares with the first book, I'd love to have a readers thoughts on it. I've tried to make the plots as different as possible but still keep my main characters. Thank you again, my friend. :) Sandra xxx

Comment from wordsfromsue

Excellent

You had me thinking the kid was the devil, last time! Which is, I suppose similar to what his father thought.

So, he's simply albino? But not so simple, given the time period.

I'm not sure what Veronica can do to help this situation.

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017

IN those days, to be different was to be something evil. So sad for the children. Veronica has some work to do on that, but also has another BIG problem looming! :) xxx

Comment from rwilliam

Excellent

Ok...whoa! That photo fits this story so well it's scary. :-)

This is a really good chapter. I think I'd add a part where she goes to see her own child. Seeing how that was mentioned while she was 'away' and missing him.

Just a thought.

Congratulations on the awards.

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017

Thank you so much, my friend. You have a point there. I should have made her go up and give her children another good night kiss or something, as soon as she was back in her own time. I think I'll add that to my main manuscript. Well spotted! I love it when people come up with things I've overlooked. It all helps! Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandraxxx

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Sandra,

Nice chapter. Things so much the same yet so different this time around. The group pulling the strings provides an interesting counterpoint to the main body.

'Do you have any observations that might help?' - you use single speech marks here but everywhere else you use the double...

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Jul-2017

Thank you, G, for finding those single speech tags, I've changed them now. :)

Your first sentence made my day, it's great to know you think it's different yet the same this time round. Getting the balance right with this was so important, I hope you will say this at the end of the story. :)) Sandra xxx

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Should have a warning for profanity.

Interesting storyline.

So true that no matter how a child looks, if they are yours, they should be the most precious thing in the world.

Will have to check this one again.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017

Thank you so much for coming along and reading this part, Brett, I really appreciate it. :) Sandra x

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Hi, dear Sandra!

I've not yet read your part two. Are you planning to send for edits soon? I look forward! Love the time travel genre and your writing...and this pulled me right in. I enjoyed hearing Mildred exclaim LORDY again! :-))))

This is well paced, with good POV, authentic dialog and fine descriptive detail. Just some comma nites (takes a while to tame those buggers! Five stars in advance...

NOTES

* remove the word HAVE here:

The Council have resumed their meeting after watching Veronica's first few hours in the past, and the question was still on each man's mind--how much help should they give her?

*"Now Veronica knows the background of the problems,(no comma) and has met Daveth and Sir John's hidden away son, Francis."


*trim HIS here:
his expression registering his disquiet.

his expression registering disquiet.



*I'll check into it, (no comma) and tell you at our next meeting.

*
I looked at the table and saw my glass of red wine still as I (had) left it before I was transported back to the past.

*"This time(,) I didn't have a host body, which was surreal. But what was even stranger,(no comma) was the fact that Daveth,(no comma) and another child I came across,(no comma) could see me, even though I appeared invisible to any adult."


* He walked towards her, and(,) apparently, just vanished into thin air." I frowned as a thought came to me. "It's possible he's here ... in our time. It's the most logical explanation. But if he is, I haven't seen, or felt(,) his presence."

*

James shook his head and shrugged. "I wouldn't know if I had," he said, and turned an inquisitive glance at Mildred.
The actions tags are great. No need for speech tag. Suggest trimming to:


James shook his head and shrugged. "I wouldn't know if I had." He turned an inquisitive glance at Mildred.

*
I then told them about the boy in the manor,(no comma) and his poor mother.

*
they both had incredulous expressions on their faces.

maybe use a stronger verb. Example:


they both wore incredulous expressions on their faces.

*
I could quite understand James' inability to absorb all I'd said,(; or --) I was having a problem too.

* Moments later(,) he returned with one of his medical books. "Take a look at this."


*He turned the pages until he came to one with pictures of Albino children,(no comma) and passed it back.


*"I should imagine Sir John only suffers from the disease of ignorance,(no comma) and is more frightened of the child than anything else.

* But(,) for now, I just wanted to enjoy being back with my family.


Lots of Love,
rd

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017

Thank you so much for this, Rama, I've made all the corrections! Those commas get me every time, lol!!! I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part, it's going to be quite a bit different to the first book, which it needed to be. I'll e-mail you later.

Thank you, my friend. Big hugs,
Sandra xxxx

reply by rama devi on 22-Jul-2017

Thanks, dear, for your gracious response and your PM as well. Commas are hard to tame, for sure. I'm looking forward to your second book.

Hugest Hugs,
rd

Comment from country ranch writer

Excellent

Many people don't have a clue why this happens. They are shunned by society and even till this day. It is sad the genetics get all scrambled up and they have to suffer .

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017

It's so sad, isn't it? It's the same with any disabled person, people just don't seem to understand they are still the same as everyone else. In some ways, a lot better!! Thank you for reading and reviewing this part, my friend, I really appreciate it. :) Sandra xxx

reply by country ranch writer on 22-Jul-2017

Smile

Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent

This speaks in continuation, in search for judgement, the theme continues with a new plot about some explanation seems in a filial approach, realistic, like the characters; I liked.

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017

Thank you so much, my friend! :) Sandra xxx

Comment from Pam (respa)

Exceptional

-An interesting chapter, Sandra,
esp. since Ver. never left this time.
-It seems there is still no info. on
Daveth's father.
-Ver. proceeds to tell them about
her recent experience, and James
fills in with some medical info. to
help in understanding Frances's condition.
-There is also the boy's father who is
a huge concern for the boy's well being.
-But, for now, Ver. wants to enjoy her own family,
something she has missed doing.

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017

I was wondering, if this could really happen and we could go back and forth in time, would we live longer? It's a thought, isn't it? We'd be living two lives at once! LOL. Sorry, Pam, it's my brain, it has these bumps now and again. Thank you, my dear friend, for another wonderful review and for all those stars again. You always make my day that bit more perfect. Veronica will try to find Joe in the next part, but it's going to be difficult as she has nowhere to start from. Let's hope something crops up and makes life a bit easier for her, how though, remains to be seen. Biggest hugs, dear friend. :) xxxxx Sandra

reply by Pam (respa) on 22-Jul-2017

You like to wonder, as I do, at times. It is interesting what can be thought up, esp. with time travel and what is possible. You are very welcome and deserving of the review and stars and glad they brightened your day. One thing about Ver. is she doesn't give up!

reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017

I'm amazed at how alike we are. I often daydream about things that are virtually impossible and what it would be like. Perhaps in my next life?? :)) xxx

reply by Pam (respa) on 22-Jul-2017

Maybe that is why I like Mildred and Ver., and L. Ann so much! I often think about things when I'm reading or looking up at clouds in the sky.

reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017

When I get it published, by traditional, (if I'm lucky) or self-publishing, you must give me your address so I can send you a special copy. :) xx

reply by Pam (respa) on 22-Jul-2017

That is so sweet of you, Sandra, but I would gladly pay for it.

Comment from rspoet

Exceptional

Hello Sandra,
Another excellent chapter in the story
We get to meet "The Council" again, like the manipulating Greek Gods
of old, intervening in the affairs of man. Baaa!
I suspected Frances was albino,
superstition and fears of the unknown,
when many still believed in demons and witches
I think Silas, in The Da Vinci Code was albino
and the victim of superstition, but rather evil, too
What must James "really" be thinking about this whole thing?
Well, we started out with Daveth, then his Da, now it's Frances
and another Sir John (another Baaa!).
Soon another ghost will likely appear, Gwendol, like Glinda, the good witch
in the Wizard of Oz
Are you sure we're not really in Oz
And you're the wizard?
Well, I for one like wizards and ghost, and time travelers
and This Time-That Time, times two
Well done
RS

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017

Hi Robert, thank you for the wonderful array of stars, my friend. I've watched the Da Vinci Code and read the book, wonderful story. I think you're right about Silas. I've also watched and read The Wizard of Oz, seems we share the same taste in reading! I forgot about Glinda, very much like Gwendolyne. I think these things are submerged somewhere in the pit of my memory and come out when needed. LOL. I'd love to be a wizard, I'd have such fun! Thank you for another fun and wonderful review, my friend! Big hugs, Sandra xxxxx

reply by rspoet on 22-Jul-2017

One of the beauties of being a writer is that you are the wizard of the story. Of course, there are good wizards and bad wizards, as in The Lord of the Rings.

reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017

That is so true, Robert. I'm not going to ask what category you put me in! LOL, (I might turn you into a frog!!) :)) xxx

reply by rspoet on 22-Jul-2017

I better hop on outta here before I croak.

reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017

LOL!!!