Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Chapter Elf part drei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
32 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, a great chapter and good to see that they all care about Shana.
"It won't look quite so obvious." Phillip followed behi = behind
A 'p' has sneaked in after: 'No but thank you.'
Looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017
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Hi Barbara, a great chapter and good to see that they all care about Shana.
"It won't look quite so obvious." Phillip followed behi = behind
A 'p' has sneaked in after: 'No but thank you.'
Looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017
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I don't know what happened. The last time I checked those areas were correct. I'm so glad you caught those.
Comment from dweigt
Another well written piece. I liked how the men were nervous about invading Shana's space.
There are a couple minor typos:
"It won't look quite so obvious." Philip followed behi
-- Oops! I like short, simple sentences, but this one is missing something! Or is Behi a new character? ;-)
"No, but thank you."
p
"Would you like me to sit with you?" -- The "p" is another typo.
With her elbows bent and her hands spread out. -- Partial sentence. Shana is the implied subject, but I think it would read better as a complete sentence.
I do worry that you are spending too much time in the apartment. We need a change of scenery soon.
Keep writing!
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017
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Another well written piece. I liked how the men were nervous about invading Shana's space.
There are a couple minor typos:
"It won't look quite so obvious." Philip followed behi
-- Oops! I like short, simple sentences, but this one is missing something! Or is Behi a new character? ;-)
"No, but thank you."
p
"Would you like me to sit with you?" -- The "p" is another typo.
With her elbows bent and her hands spread out. -- Partial sentence. Shana is the implied subject, but I think it would read better as a complete sentence.
I do worry that you are spending too much time in the apartment. We need a change of scenery soon.
Keep writing!
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017
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I don't know what happened. The last time I checked those areas were correct. I'm so glad you caught those.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Barb
sorry I'm so late reading your story, which to me is getting more intriguing with Shana slowly coming out the real reasons she desires to locate the painting,
Gert
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017
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Hello Barb
sorry I'm so late reading your story, which to me is getting more intriguing with Shana slowly coming out the real reasons she desires to locate the painting,
Gert
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017
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I don't know what happened. The last time I checked those areas were correct. I'm so glad you caught those
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You are welcome Barb
Gert
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Philip followed behi ... behind
"No, but thank you."
P ... stray p
hello my friend a couple of typos above this is well written moving the story along well Shana cares about the painting as she can express her gratitude to her ancestors that she didn't have to go through what they went through and suffered and that she has freedom I enjoyed enjoy your vacation regards Jill
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017
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Philip followed behi ... behind
"No, but thank you."
P ... stray p
hello my friend a couple of typos above this is well written moving the story along well Shana cares about the painting as she can express her gratitude to her ancestors that she didn't have to go through what they went through and suffered and that she has freedom I enjoyed enjoy your vacation regards Jill
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017
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I don't know what happened. The last time I checked those areas were correct. I'm so glad you caught those.
Comment from Norbanus
It's good that you still have access to a computer, Barbara. It would be a shame if we had to wait for you to finish your vacation before we could see any more of this tale.
We finally hear from Shana, of her insistence in retrieving the painting.
I like the way you expose all these personalities during their attempt to check on Shana.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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It's good that you still have access to a computer, Barbara. It would be a shame if we had to wait for you to finish your vacation before we could see any more of this tale.
We finally hear from Shana, of her insistence in retrieving the painting.
I like the way you expose all these personalities during their attempt to check on Shana.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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I am so glad to hear from you. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
Shana tells Philip, Helen, Jane and Jeff, the reason the painting means something to her, and not her father. That her ancestors mean so much to her, that's why wants to go through with this. Well done, Barbara, blessings, Roy
Typo She('s) anything but fine. 2: my ancestors (when) through so much. went?
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Shana tells Philip, Helen, Jane and Jeff, the reason the painting means something to her, and not her father. That her ancestors mean so much to her, that's why wants to go through with this. Well done, Barbara, blessings, Roy
Typo She('s) anything but fine. 2: my ancestors (when) through so much. went?
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the catches. I have made the corrections.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Superb writing, Barbara, and now we know why Shana is so desperate to get the paintings back, and I have to agree. One tiny error, shown below. Well done, my friend, I am hoping Shana manages to achieve her quest. :) Sandra xxx
"I have a roundabout answer but it's the only answer I have. My ancestors when(went) through so much to
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Superb writing, Barbara, and now we know why Shana is so desperate to get the paintings back, and I have to agree. One tiny error, shown below. Well done, my friend, I am hoping Shana manages to achieve her quest. :) Sandra xxx
"I have a roundabout answer but it's the only answer I have. My ancestors when(went) through so much to
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the catch and I have made the correction.
Comment from Rasmine
Hello, :)
The two men followed but remained closed (I think you meant 'close) to the door (comma when connector 'and') and Jeff made sure it was left open. (But do your own research on this.)
TC This is really progressing nicely.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Hello, :)
The two men followed but remained closed (I think you meant 'close) to the door (comma when connector 'and') and Jeff made sure it was left open. (But do your own research on this.)
TC This is really progressing nicely.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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You are correct about the comma, and I knew it just messed up. I have made both corrections. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from apky
Apart from the comment below, I found no spags.
On the whole the story still holds my interest and you left it off at another suspenseful junction. Look forward to the next post.
My ancestors when(I assume you wanted to write "went" here) through so much to make sure I had freedom and not have to live under tyranny.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Apart from the comment below, I found no spags.
On the whole the story still holds my interest and you left it off at another suspenseful junction. Look forward to the next post.
My ancestors when(I assume you wanted to write "went" here) through so much to make sure I had freedom and not have to live under tyranny.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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I have made the correction. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
The painting means a lot to Shana, altho not to her father - looking forward to finding out why it's so important to her.
A well-written chapter, Barbara - hope your holiday is going well and you're a relaxing.
the two men followed but remained close[d] to the door - lose d
My ancestors when(went) through - went
Margaret
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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The painting means a lot to Shana, altho not to her father - looking forward to finding out why it's so important to her.
A well-written chapter, Barbara - hope your holiday is going well and you're a relaxing.
the two men followed but remained close[d] to the door - lose d
My ancestors when(went) through - went
Margaret
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the catches and I have made both corrections.
