Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

First paragraph makes the house seem real nice.

Would be freaky to see an unknown man just standing in silence in your home.

What a secret for George to keep from Claire about the apparant harmless ghost visitor.

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2022

---

reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022

Thank you so much Brett. I'm so glad you liked it. Actually, the story was inspired by what happened to my real mother when she lived near Santa Cruz, California. Ulla:)))

Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Exceptional

Oh Ulla, this is terrific! I love it. What a great idea --your book of short stories. Best one I've read so far is this one. It is so moving, your images of the emotional characters is very believable, now I believe in ghosts too. Hugs, Giddy xx

 Comment Written 05-May-2019

---

reply by the author on 05-May-2019

Awe, Giddy!!! You read that story! I like it myself, and had great fun writing it. It's based on what happened to my mother. My birth mother. Thank you so much for the lovely recognition. A big hug. Ulla xxx

Comment from Drew Delaney

Excellent

What an excellent story, Ulla. I just loved it. The ending was superb, too. So glad you won the contest even though I haven't read any other entries. This would have been hard to beat. Great job and congratulations!
Drew xx

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017

Hi Drew, thank you so very much. This means a lot to me. I'm so glad you liked it, and thanks for the congratulations. All the best. Ulla xx

Comment from kathleenspalding

Excellent

Enjoyable, well written ghost story is excellent for the prompt and kept my interest from start to finish. Love the ending! Congratulations on your well-deserved win.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 20-Jul-2017

Thanks a lot, Kathleen, for the great review and for the congrats. I'm really pleased. All the best. Ulla:)))

reply by kathleenspalding on 20-Jul-2017

You're welcome :-)

Comment from kiwigirl2821

Excellent

Hello Writer, I thoroughly enjoyed this story. It was a wee bit predictable as I knew eventually the Mexican Man would show up but to both of you? That was a surprise. I'm always amazed at how men so often react differently to situations that would scare me to death! lol Great write. Good luck. xoxo Kiwi

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 20-Jul-2017

Hi Kiwi, thanks very much for your kind review. I'm pleased you found it was surprise ending. That was the idea. I'm glad it worked, and I'm so pleased that I actually won the contest. All the best. Ulla:)))

Comment from Journal Jo

Good

This was very well written and I could almost picture the old man standing there. I was hoping there was another line or two as the husband and wife talked about their experience with him.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 20-Jul-2017

Thanks. You say it's very well written so I would like you to tell me the mistakes I made to justify the four star rating. The whole point is to end it with a surprise. I'm pleased to say I won the contest, so at least quite a few liked it. Ulla

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

Excellent. This story is well-written with great descriptions that take the reader into the story and make it believable. It is creative and a good entry for the contest. I wish you the best of luck.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017

Thank you so very much. I'm glad you liked it. All best

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

An intriguing tale. I think stories such as this are made all the more eerie when the supernatural element invades the ordinary joys of life. The bell is a nice touch! It seems that, after the shock of the first encounter, the couple are to have the company of a friendly poltergeist. Your description of the surroundings is vivid, taking your reader right into the place.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017

Thank you so much. I'm so glad you liked it. All the best.

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Dear Mystery Author,

An interesting and highly 'haunting' tale. *smile* I think it was told well and should be a great contender in the contest. I only have a couple of suggestions to make, if I may?

Notes:
1.) edge towards it, and yet the man was like frozen in the same spot.
--> the 'like' is an unnecessary addition. Please remove?

2.) same spot. All he did was [d-to] watch me. It was eerie.
--> remember, when you're writing, to use proper grammar and English. I know we speak a bit differently and more casually, but your writing shouldn't reflect this.

3.) down my cheeks. What (I'd) just seen was a ghost.
--> stay in the same verb tense -- you are telling about a story in the past.

4.) Four hours later I heard George (come in).
--> 'being back' is more casual language. I recommend the alternative above.

Thanks and good luck!

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017

Hi Robyn, thanks so much although I'm of course a little disappointed with a four. I have made the corrections, and thanks for putting me right. I will always need that extra bit of help with the English language. All the best.

reply by robyn corum on 19-Jul-2017

Thanks for letting me know you've edited. I changed the rating!

reply by the author on 20-Jul-2017

Thanks a lot Robyn. That is so kind of you. I ended up wnning the contest, I've just realised. Thanks again. A hug. Ulla:)))

reply by robyn corum on 20-Jul-2017

congratulations!! Yippee!

reply by the author on 20-Jul-2017

Thanks, dear friend :))

Comment from Ricky1024

Excellent

There's No Such Thing As ghosts writing Prompt Entry.
Based on an old but beautiful house and "The past Resident.'
This was a clever Haunt!
Good luck as well...
DR. Ricky 1024.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017

Thank you so much. I'm so glad you liked it.