Patterns
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Scintillation"poetry
7 total reviews
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Hello story: This is another very unique piece where you use the repetition of words, like you stated, to make music of language. I hear that music in your poem and in the repetition there is the poetry and sprinkled about so lovely. I appreciate this and below are my favorite lines.
In reflections of light like faces glistening
Across windows of radiant white phosphorescence
In a scintillating effect of crossed iridescent beams
of light scattered across the skylights like snow
Above the reflections of figures glittering in the windows
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2017
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Hello story: This is another very unique piece where you use the repetition of words, like you stated, to make music of language. I hear that music in your poem and in the repetition there is the poetry and sprinkled about so lovely. I appreciate this and below are my favorite lines.
In reflections of light like faces glistening
Across windows of radiant white phosphorescence
In a scintillating effect of crossed iridescent beams
of light scattered across the skylights like snow
Above the reflections of figures glittering in the windows
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2017
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Thank you for your excellent review and for your interesting comments supporting the poem. I am glad you enjoyed the scintillating effects. This is another of those New York City inspired pieces, kind of mechanical in construction, that I tried to jazz up with some human touches; faces and figures in the lights of the windows. The musical elements were inspired by the compositions of the English electric guitarist Robert Fripp, whose recordings involving overlapping sounds on tape loops, capturing gradually evolving notes into repeating musical phrases, were a key in the minimalist movement of the late 70's and 80's. estory
Comment from Sis Cat
Excellent minimalist poem that uses "repetitions of patterns of sound to create the music in language." These repetitions (anaphora) made your poem feel fresh and provocative. Its focus on light created the effect that light through your words was scintillating and dazzling. You have superb use of concrete details such as this section:
Polished into bright little points of light
Glittering on the sparkling white skin
Like starlight on the white marble monuments of the city
Your poem is modern, cubist, surreal with its dense, dream-like sound and imagery.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Excellent minimalist poem that uses "repetitions of patterns of sound to create the music in language." These repetitions (anaphora) made your poem feel fresh and provocative. Its focus on light created the effect that light through your words was scintillating and dazzling. You have superb use of concrete details such as this section:
Polished into bright little points of light
Glittering on the sparkling white skin
Like starlight on the white marble monuments of the city
Your poem is modern, cubist, surreal with its dense, dream-like sound and imagery.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the excellent review and for your interesting comments in support of this poem. I am glad that you seemed to get this poem exactly; this is the effect I am after, and I appreciate the appreciation of trying to do something different and push the framework of poetry a little further into the future. This poem went through several rewrites, I still think it is a bit abstract, maybe it could use a few more elements that connect it to the human experience, the realm of emotion. But I have to strike the right balance to make the poem come off in this rather mechanical style. estory
Comment from frierajac
I like the ambitions idea of interpretating the word' scintillation', as it is a word that has an appeal where ever it is mentioned. It is like a word that one has to rise up to
in finding it in one's own personal subjectivity. It has a specific meaning.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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I like the ambitions idea of interpretating the word' scintillation', as it is a word that has an appeal where ever it is mentioned. It is like a word that one has to rise up to
in finding it in one's own personal subjectivity. It has a specific meaning.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the excellent review and for your comments supporting the poem. estory
Comment from Asyraf N. Jamsari
A very well written piece of writing. I am so intrigued by the flow and how you constructed the poetry especially on the first and the fourth stanza. Nice choice of words and pleasant presentation as well. Keep up the good work. Have a good day.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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A very well written piece of writing. I am so intrigued by the flow and how you constructed the poetry especially on the first and the fourth stanza. Nice choice of words and pleasant presentation as well. Keep up the good work. Have a good day.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the excellent review and for your interesting comments supporting the poem. The first and fourth stanza is a construction really inspired by the music compositions of Robert Fripp, the great English electric guitarist of the late 20th century and early 21st, probably most famous as the central figure of the avant guarde rock band King Crimson. In the 1980's Fripp did some work with his friend Brian Eno, that resulted in the album Evening Star, that fist explored this idea of gradually evolving musical phrases, single notes evolving into phrases, looping back to the beginning to form a continuous ongoing, perpetual phrase. Fripp called this method of composition, involving tape loops, Frippertronics, and explored the idea in two subsequent albums, including Let the Power Fall. it was these pieces that served as the inspiration of this construction of looping musical phrases that I tried to emulate with language in this poem. estory
Comment from lalajovanoski
Hello my dear friend, I very much enjoyed reading this poem that is excellently written and is very deep and powerful and moving. There's a little repetition in this that is very effective. I can feel a lot of emotions. Thank you so much for sharing this. With love, Lala
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Hello my dear friend, I very much enjoyed reading this poem that is excellently written and is very deep and powerful and moving. There's a little repetition in this that is very effective. I can feel a lot of emotions. Thank you so much for sharing this. With love, Lala
Comment Written 15-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the excellent review and for your interesting comments supporting the poem. Interesting that you mention that you found the poem 'emotional', I am glad that you did, because I didn't really think of the poem as emotional at all when I wrote it. I kind of wove in elements of human experience to 'warm up' the rather mechanical construction, the electric imagery. I want the poem to be a little more emotionally relevant, glad to see that I am somehow making that connection estory
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Polished into bright little points of light
Glittering on the sparkling white skin
Like starlight on the white marble monuments of the city
Scintillating across the white windows of light
Above the snow white faces in the lights
That shine in the sky above the city of light
Above the city of light
The city of light
Light .....this reminded me of Paris and its stark yet graceful beauty, it is mostly white, I think you have written this brilliantly and it would be fabulous if it was put to music Good luck in accomplishing that. Kindest regards and well done Meia xx
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Polished into bright little points of light
Glittering on the sparkling white skin
Like starlight on the white marble monuments of the city
Scintillating across the white windows of light
Above the snow white faces in the lights
That shine in the sky above the city of light
Above the city of light
The city of light
Light .....this reminded me of Paris and its stark yet graceful beauty, it is mostly white, I think you have written this brilliantly and it would be fabulous if it was put to music Good luck in accomplishing that. Kindest regards and well done Meia xx
Comment Written 15-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you for your excellent review and for your interesting comments and kind support for this piece. I am glad you enjoyed it, of course New York is really the inspiration for this, although Paris, the city of light, came to mind as I wrote it. that last stanza is one of my favorite parts of the poem so I am glad you singled it out. I like that effect of images kind of floating into the air and disappearing into the distance, or evaporating into thin air. We'll see what comes of the mixed media collaboration; I think this is the direction poetry is going and I want to be a part of it, but the other participants are busy with all kinds of projects. You can check out Matt and Pete's work on the Organic Image Sound Series on Peter Fagiola's website, and listen to some of his percussion. estory
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks about the scintillation of the lights that spread all over the city, snow line and the glow that spread all over and touches the sky with illuminating spirit of light; I liked.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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This speaks about the scintillation of the lights that spread all over the city, snow line and the glow that spread all over and touches the sky with illuminating spirit of light; I liked.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the excellent review and for your interesting comments supporting this poem. Glad you enjoyed this minimalist scintillation estory
