Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hahaha Jose Maria, wonderful. I love the twist in your story, and as for the rest of the imagery and the imagination, it was great. Good luck in the contest. Very well written. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017

Thanks, Ulla. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Comment from Walu Feral

Excellent

G'day Maria.

"The dog jumped happily around me and then ran towards my car. As soon as I opened the passenger door, he got in." (Hahahaha! He was hitch-hiking lol.)

"My canine companion had turned into a sinister-looking man with big teeth and a protruding nose." (Ouch!)

Darn! Now I have to read Dahl! Hahahaha!

This is a very entertaining contest entry and I wish you the best of luck in it.

Great work, my friend.

Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017

Do read Dahl if you can. It's worth it.
Thanks for reading.

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi MJ

Another post-modern twist on an old classic. Neat piece. Everyone should have to read Roald Dahl, I think... even dog-men.

One day in early November, I got a call from Aunt Ethel's doctor.

'Hello, Miss Lucas. I'm calling about your aunt.'

'Is anything wrong?'

This first exchange gives the impression that the character did ask what was wrong with her aunt, but later on it states-

I realized I hadn't asked the doctor what was wrong with her, [you might mean something more specific here].

You alternate between aunt Ethel and Aunt Ethel, it is probably better to stick to one form of the presentation.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice the dog-man was speaking again. - it may be more apt to say that it took a few moments to realise he was talking again as you go on to relate what he says which is difficult to do if you hadn't noticed...

All the best
G

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 15-Jul-2017

I've made the changes.
Thanks for the review.

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Love this twist on an old fairy tale Maria. Liked his - 'Your worst nightmare, the big bad wolf, jack the ripper, ted bundy',....Well done, and good to see the feminist won out. Really enjoyed this one, left me with a smile,
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 15-Jul-2017

I'm glad I made you smile, Valda.
Thanks for reading.

Comment from Bucketlist

Excellent

An interesting piece of penning, I'm honestly not a good reviewer of prose. My instant reaction was that the switch from sweet to sinister was good. Your title skillfully raises questions and anticipation. Your content is a warning about hitchhikers and rapists. Yet, the story is fictional. Those are my 2 cents contributions, thanks for sharing your talent
Hugs, Trisha

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017

Thanks so much for reading, Trisha. I think your review was perfect.

reply by Bucketlist on 14-Jul-2017

Thanks so much for your heart warming comment

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

Interesting story Maria. It's funny but as I continued to read this I actually thought of little red riding hood lol

So did you shoot him? you have left the story open for another interesting chapter

thanks for sharing

dip

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017

Of course I shot him! ;)
You should watch the short video below...
Thanks for reading.

Comment from Asem.inspirations

Excellent

Okay maria: This is another fictional story that you have successfully written and well. I stayed involved and interested in this story. It pulled me into it and kept me there until the end. you should do well in the contest. Yes, good job...

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017

Thanks, Tier. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Comment from LaRosa

Excellent

Ha ha ha, love it. I'd never heard of Roald Dahl, so thanks for the attached video.
I recognized the honey and ginger remedy. It works!
But what is Panderol? sounds familiar.

The story is very creative and ... crafty.' Follows a logical line and the twisted, but humorous ending, was great!

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017

I made the word Panderol up, because it sounded like a medicine...
Thanks for reading.

reply by LaRosa on 14-Jul-2017

ahhh, and to think it sounded familiar. It does sound like it should be a medicine. You worked it in as such. Awesome.

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

I did not count your words, but I assume it has 750.

I understood when I watched the video what you meant, which made this whole thing very cute. A different take on Red Riding Hood. No problems noted

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017

752 I think, but the rules of the contest say you can use between 748 and 752 so I'm okay in that respect.
Thanks for reading.

Comment from MelB

Excellent

Hi Maria, this is an interesting spin on Little Red Riding Hood. The book made for a great code word between the two women!

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017

Thanks for reading, Melissa.