Discarded
Not about me45 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
This is so well written and also so very sad. I can relate to the longing for true love but the pain of it not coming to fruition. You convey the pain of a broken heart exceptionally well in this one. I am so sorry your friend had to endue this pain once again. This is a terrific entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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This is so well written and also so very sad. I can relate to the longing for true love but the pain of it not coming to fruition. You convey the pain of a broken heart exceptionally well in this one. I am so sorry your friend had to endue this pain once again. This is a terrific entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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Thank you Sasha:)
Comment from Gloria ....
Super free verse Teresa. I particularly like the allusion to ever elusive catfish type.
Adept economy of words with a strong and important message.
one nit:
turned lose, (loose) tossed in the sea,
bleeding from my gills,
Best wishes to you in the contest with this beauty.
Gloria
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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Super free verse Teresa. I particularly like the allusion to ever elusive catfish type.
Adept economy of words with a strong and important message.
one nit:
turned lose, (loose) tossed in the sea,
bleeding from my gills,
Best wishes to you in the contest with this beauty.
Gloria
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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Ah, thanks for catching that spag, Gloria. No one else has. Thanks for the review:)
Comment from c_lucas
It take courage
To walk away
From a fading relationship
And start anew
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There is no way to rebuild your courage than to boldly start again. This is very well written with an earnest flow of words.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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It take courage
To walk away
From a fading relationship
And start anew
***
There is no way to rebuild your courage than to boldly start again. This is very well written with an earnest flow of words.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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Thank you Charlie:)
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You're welcome, Tab. Charlie
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Teresa, this is a great free verse and written with such clever use of metaphor. I knew before I read your author notes who this poem was about. You have written about your friend before, I remember reading it. Great piece and I think it should do well in the contest. Good Luck. Warm regards Dorothy xx
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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Hi Teresa, this is a great free verse and written with such clever use of metaphor. I knew before I read your author notes who this poem was about. You have written about your friend before, I remember reading it. Great piece and I think it should do well in the contest. Good Luck. Warm regards Dorothy xx
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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You have a great memory Dorothy and you are correct. Thank you so much:)
Comment from Joan E.
I am sorry your friend has had a long series of disappointments. I admired your speaking in the first person for immediacy and your use of the unusual "fish" metaphor. Your "pillow full of tears" and "loser pill" are very vivid hyperbole. Best wishes in the contest and to your friend- Joan
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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I am sorry your friend has had a long series of disappointments. I admired your speaking in the first person for immediacy and your use of the unusual "fish" metaphor. Your "pillow full of tears" and "loser pill" are very vivid hyperbole. Best wishes in the contest and to your friend- Joan
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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Thank you Joan:)
Comment from Janet Foor
A sad story about your friend. Relationships can be hard. I can't imagine meeting someone on line-I'm afraid I'm old school - the world today is too scary for that. Or, I watch to much television. :)
Well done Teresa.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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A sad story about your friend. Relationships can be hard. I can't imagine meeting someone on line-I'm afraid I'm old school - the world today is too scary for that. Or, I watch to much television. :)
Well done Teresa.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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She had never liked the thought of online but she tried and failed. I doubt she will again. Thanks for reading and reviewing Janet:)
Comment from KL Williams
This is a heart-wrenching poem, and the hurt comes through in your words. Love is so complicated, and it's easy to shut out the world when your heart is broken. It is an especially difficult situation when you're just dropped without an explanation. I'm sorry for your friend, and I hope that things turn around for her soon. Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest! :)
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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This is a heart-wrenching poem, and the hurt comes through in your words. Love is so complicated, and it's easy to shut out the world when your heart is broken. It is an especially difficult situation when you're just dropped without an explanation. I'm sorry for your friend, and I hope that things turn around for her soon. Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest! :)
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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Thank you KL:)
Comment from Dean Kuch
I can understand and relate exactly where your friend is coming from, Teresa.
The band known as "YES" said it best, I think:
"Owner of a lonely heart
owner of a lonely heart's, much better than a,
Owner of a broken heart
Owner of a lonely heart..."
If we're alone by choice, no one can hurt us but ourselves.
Nice work, very expressive.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
~Dean
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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I can understand and relate exactly where your friend is coming from, Teresa.
The band known as "YES" said it best, I think:
"Owner of a lonely heart
owner of a lonely heart's, much better than a,
Owner of a broken heart
Owner of a lonely heart..."
If we're alone by choice, no one can hurt us but ourselves.
Nice work, very expressive.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
~Dean
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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Yep, that's what she says. She's also her own worst enemy. Thanks for the review Dean:)
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My pleasure, I agree with her.
Comment from BOO ghost
That is sad. And the person who did this is a jerk, I have you to know and does not represent the good people. That said, let me read on... I love this: turned lose, tossed in the sea,
bleeding from my gills,
I can't breathe.
you threw me back before
we'd even met. This is like setting a hook, then losing the fish before you land it in the boat. nothing left except
a pillow full of tears. Yes, i read and good thing she found it out early. Just hypothesize if she known him for years and he dumped her. That would be much worse. Hope your friend will be OK. BOO can send her a poem. Anything to help.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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That is sad. And the person who did this is a jerk, I have you to know and does not represent the good people. That said, let me read on... I love this: turned lose, tossed in the sea,
bleeding from my gills,
I can't breathe.
you threw me back before
we'd even met. This is like setting a hook, then losing the fish before you land it in the boat. nothing left except
a pillow full of tears. Yes, i read and good thing she found it out early. Just hypothesize if she known him for years and he dumped her. That would be much worse. Hope your friend will be OK. BOO can send her a poem. Anything to help.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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That is what I try to tell her too. At least she hadn't invested much time. Thank you Boo for the wonderful review.
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She got lucky. He was no gentleman. Maybe a bar fly, no person with any good Morales or has a heart would do that. Sometimes married men play games and they back out not to get into trouble with their wife. There area a lot of liars in this world. Is when you are not looking for romance is when you find it. if she is young she has plenty time, plenty fish in the sea and there is a love mate for everybody. BOO sends his hugs.
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She's 54, thinks she'll be alone forever now and doesn't want to try any more. Been hurt too many times.
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Same age as BOO. Maybe she needs a christian man that cares. Just like that movie with Maculley Culken, Home Alone. The lass tells the old poop=pigeon lady some advice. The homeless lady says she does not want to get close to anybody in fear of breaking her heart... the boy explains to her that what good is a heart if you do not use it, it is better to take a risk and get your heart broken than never try at all. You may seen this scene in Home Aloe but it makes sense. the lady did not mind the pigeon poop, it helped keep other's away. Maybe morale is: don't stop using your heart and afraid it will be broken. What good is a heart if you never use it, anyways. Well, BOO tried to help and I wish her luck finding the one and god just not found the right one for her yet. Something good takes a long time to build, like a castle. Things that come fat, go fast.
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Great advice and comparison. I'll remember to tell her that. Yes, I have seen the movie many times.
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best to have a shattered heart than never use it... something like that. Yep, my nephew became hell on wheels after he saw that show and he looked like Culken. Boy, uncle wackydo caught it. There is hope for her. We must keep hoping, dreaming... and trust in Jesus Christ is what matters, humans can not get you into paradise. God is the answer.
Comment from Boogienights
This poem made me feel sad...and that's a good thing. Poems like yours, that evoke such emotion in the reader show a great level of sensitivity.Thank you for sharing this.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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This poem made me feel sad...and that's a good thing. Poems like yours, that evoke such emotion in the reader show a great level of sensitivity.Thank you for sharing this.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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Thank you so much:)
