Discarded
Not about me45 total reviews
Comment from trimple
Hello there, Tab
Sorry to hear that your friend has had such bad luck in the love game. Life is often tougher on the love front for some than it is for others, unfortunately.
I liked the initial metaphor very much. I guess most of us have experienced this at some time in our lives.
Enjoyable, though sad 'free verse'.
Kind regards
trimple
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
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Hello there, Tab
Sorry to hear that your friend has had such bad luck in the love game. Life is often tougher on the love front for some than it is for others, unfortunately.
I liked the initial metaphor very much. I guess most of us have experienced this at some time in our lives.
Enjoyable, though sad 'free verse'.
Kind regards
trimple
Comment Written 18-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
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Thank you so much:)
Comment from DragonSkulls
We've all been there. Once a love we thought would last forever, then it turns out we apparently weren't worth keeping. Then vowing to never bare our heart again. But we always do, lol. This is a great free verse entry, T. I don't have any suggestions that could add to the piece. Excellent write. Tell your friend to not worry about that clown. 3 little weeks of talking isn't worth a broken heart. Best of luck in the contest.
DS
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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We've all been there. Once a love we thought would last forever, then it turns out we apparently weren't worth keeping. Then vowing to never bare our heart again. But we always do, lol. This is a great free verse entry, T. I don't have any suggestions that could add to the piece. Excellent write. Tell your friend to not worry about that clown. 3 little weeks of talking isn't worth a broken heart. Best of luck in the contest.
DS
Comment Written 15-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you DS for the great review:)
Comment from Bill O'Bier
"I've swallowed the loser pill" -- this is a powerful metaphor. I like it and your poem very much. I'm very sorry for your friend. I hope she can come to see that what happened with the online friendship has nothing to do with her.
All the best...
Bill~
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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"I've swallowed the loser pill" -- this is a powerful metaphor. I like it and your poem very much. I'm very sorry for your friend. I hope she can come to see that what happened with the online friendship has nothing to do with her.
All the best...
Bill~
Comment Written 15-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you Bill:)
Comment from Taffspride
An excellent entry for the contest Teresa. But so very sad, unfortunately, it happens all too often. I think at some time or another we all have had this feeling of rejection albeit perhaps not quite as painful. It is still hard to overcome
You describe the feeling so very well, even if it did make me smile at first likening it to a fish being tossed back.
Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
Iechyd da
Ann
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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An excellent entry for the contest Teresa. But so very sad, unfortunately, it happens all too often. I think at some time or another we all have had this feeling of rejection albeit perhaps not quite as painful. It is still hard to overcome
You describe the feeling so very well, even if it did make me smile at first likening it to a fish being tossed back.
Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
Iechyd da
Ann
Comment Written 15-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the awesome six stars Ann!!
Comment from estory
This poem captures the feelings of rejection we all feel when a lover leaves us. It's told in an honest voice, and the free verse is full of nice little dramatic pauses that bring us into your world. I liked the images of the picnic in the grass, that makes the feeling more personal, makes the poem come alive for us, gives us something we have all experienced and so we can empathize. estory
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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This poem captures the feelings of rejection we all feel when a lover leaves us. It's told in an honest voice, and the free verse is full of nice little dramatic pauses that bring us into your world. I liked the images of the picnic in the grass, that makes the feeling more personal, makes the poem come alive for us, gives us something we have all experienced and so we can empathize. estory
Comment Written 15-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you so much estory:)
Comment from tfawcus
This is a most compelling metaphor and one that you have developed to the full. Whilst it could have lapsed into mere humour, you have imbued it with pathos and empathy for your friend's plight. Powerful writing. I wish I had a six left!
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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This is a most compelling metaphor and one that you have developed to the full. Whilst it could have lapsed into mere humour, you have imbued it with pathos and empathy for your friend's plight. Powerful writing. I wish I had a six left!
Comment Written 15-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you so much Tony for the virtual six:)
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
hello my friend sorry I am behind with reviewing I am pleased for your friend and hope love blossoms for her discarded is such a strong word to write with it can have so many angles to go from well-done regards Jill
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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hello my friend sorry I am behind with reviewing I am pleased for your friend and hope love blossoms for her discarded is such a strong word to write with it can have so many angles to go from well-done regards Jill
Comment Written 15-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you Jill. I am so far behind too - usually am though - lol:)
Comment from Susan Chetcuti
A well written piece which I am so glad isn't about you. I could feel the torment this pore women was subjected to in your words which had me glued to the screen from beginning to end. This is so worthy of a six if I had one to give:)
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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A well written piece which I am so glad isn't about you. I could feel the torment this pore women was subjected to in your words which had me glued to the screen from beginning to end. This is so worthy of a six if I had one to give:)
Comment Written 15-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you so much Susan for the great review:)
Comment from MelB
Hi Teresa, it's a sad but accurate poem. The broken relationships go back to older wounds. I hope your friend gets some healing or the pattern will continue.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Hi Teresa, it's a sad but accurate poem. The broken relationships go back to older wounds. I hope your friend gets some healing or the pattern will continue.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you Mel for the great review:)
Comment from Margaret Ford
So many poems have been written about unrequited love that it's hard to write one that feels original. But I think you have. Your unusual entry into this poem gave it a freshness that seemed to hold, all the way through. Kudos for that. And I especially liked your ending, which winds the sad feelings down to a close.
Without the AN, I wouldn't have known that this was an online romance. Perhaps you could put that information in the sentence that appears above the title, or even in the title itself. Just a thought, one you can use or completely ignore without hurting my feelings one little bit.
It's a lovely poem. Best wishes -- Margaret
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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So many poems have been written about unrequited love that it's hard to write one that feels original. But I think you have. Your unusual entry into this poem gave it a freshness that seemed to hold, all the way through. Kudos for that. And I especially liked your ending, which winds the sad feelings down to a close.
Without the AN, I wouldn't have known that this was an online romance. Perhaps you could put that information in the sentence that appears above the title, or even in the title itself. Just a thought, one you can use or completely ignore without hurting my feelings one little bit.
It's a lovely poem. Best wishes -- Margaret
Comment Written 15-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Thank you so much Margaret:)
