Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

A sweet story about two seemingly shy young people who work in the same shipyards and finally get the courage to talk to one another. Like the final lines,'I thought you'd never ask' good finish off to this part.
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Jul-2017

Hi Valda; thank you so much for the lovely review of this first part of Jenny and Ron's story.

~patty~

Comment from Asem.inspirations

Excellent

Hey there Patty, this is another interesting story. I love how you laid out their first meeting. Their conversation, their body language, the obvious flirting and blushing, it was all so lovely to read. I am so intrigued by this story already and I am looking forward to reading the rest of the story. So I will be following this story. I really enjoyed it...

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Jul-2017

Hi Tier; thank you for the lovely review and your willingness to follow along. There are many twists to Jenny and Ron's story.

~patty~

Comment from emptypage

Excellent

Aw, this is a sweet beginning. I think I saw the next part already?? Is this a book, or a stand-alone story?

I love your stuff. It is usually very uplifting and makes me smile.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Jul-2017

Hi Marla; I'm writing the parts as 'stand alone' stories, but I've just put them all in a book to make it easier to find the parts. Glad your willing to come along for the ride and SO appreciative of your comments and kind words,

~patty~

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Patty,

Okay, it seems I'm reading out of order, but it still works! haha! Sounds like these people are simply made for each other. I sure hope that all goes well...am I just a pessimist to be so scared for them??! haha!

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017

Hi Robyn; I'm glad you said it 'still works.' It is my hope that the pieces of the saga will be able to stand on their own. I just found out from Tom how I can gather all of the parts and put them into a book, but keep them as separate stories - and make it easier for readers to follow along.

You are right to be pessimistic,

~patty~

Comment from pome lover

Excellent

a blossoming love story - innocent and sweet. Two young people meet, learn a little about each other and find things to admire. From your author's notes, I take it things don't work out well, but this is a nice beginning.
By the way, the expression is: "I thought you'd never ask," but you said it in your own fashion. :)
Now on to part 2.
pome lover

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017

Hi there; thank you so much for the lovely review of this piece I'm glad you enjoyed it. Jenny and Ron end up having a long history together - in spite of everything,

~patty~

reply by pome lover on 11-Jul-2017

glad to hear it! thanks.

Comment from apky

Excellent

Ah. Now I know how they met.

I just read about the dinner and didn't know this was waiting for me down the line. Of course your writing is wonderful as usual, with no spags that I could find.

I'm already so intrigued with Ron and Jenny and wait for where they're heading next.

Aki

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017

Hi Aki; thank you for continuing on - albeit a bit backwards. I'm glad you are enjoying the story. I just had a reviewer tell me he's waiting for the passionate love scene; I think he has our writing confused. LOL

~patty~

reply by apky on 11-Jul-2017

Hahahahahaaaaa! Alright, dear, I'm off to bed now - delirious with joy that someone could confuse our writing...

Comment from Leena

Excellent

This is quite romantic and a well-penned love story. Liked how the characters are a bit shy in the beginning and slowly open up. Its a pleasant read. Enjoyed.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017

thank you so much for the lovely review of this work. The next chapter in this story is up; 'First Date.' The story will be told over a few parts,

~patty~

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

I should have read this first, I think. They met by working in the same place. Then not long after they me ha asks her out. Well written, no changes needed

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017

thank you so much for reading along. I appreciate your kind words,

~patty~

Comment from JW

Excellent

Thanks for sharing this well-written chapter, Patty Now we know how Jenny and Ron meet. It will be interesting to see where you go with this. JW

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017

Hi there; thank you for the encouraging review. Writing Jenny and Ron's story is fun, but tinged with sadness. I'm glad you're coming along for the ride.

Thanks for the video!

~patty~

Comment from Marvin Calloway

Excellent

This story moves along at a good pace.
The dialogue seems pretty natural.
Thought maybe one of them wouldn't use last name, at this point.
Maybe one would not pack so much info into one dialogue segment.
I want to see what happens next.
Marv

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017

Hi Marv; thank you for your insightful review. I'm never sure about my use of dialogue - is it too much or too little? I'm working on finding the balance and making sure I 'show' more than tell.

Your feedback is very helpful,

~patty~