JOURNEY OF THE NEW AGE GODDESS
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "My Child and Me"A series of poems written in a particular style .
7 total reviews
Comment from l.raven
HI Anita, there is something inside all of us that keeps us who we are...yes an inter child...no matter how pressured we get...we continue on our journey...very well written sweet girl...and your picture makes me eye go in circles...LOL...love ya Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
  |
HI Anita, there is something inside all of us that keeps us who we are...yes an inter child...no matter how pressured we get...we continue on our journey...very well written sweet girl...and your picture makes me eye go in circles...LOL...love ya Linda xxoo
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
-
That precious inner child..... keep her and love her as you would your own. Isn't that the best picture? I have such luck with the wonderful artists on FA. Love, Anita.
-
yes it is you...I will always be young at heart...and so will you...I can tell...xxoo love
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
A riveting poem and fascinating author notes. The build is really well done as the pace picks up and the demands move into flight. It is interesting in its movement between rhymed and free verse. The only spag I note is you need an r placed:
Brightly they said,
"Give us you(r) child,
Favorite:
Mouths dripped with saliva
That swung just like snot
ewwww! - Wendy
I really liked your piece. - Wendy
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
|
A riveting poem and fascinating author notes. The build is really well done as the pace picks up and the demands move into flight. It is interesting in its movement between rhymed and free verse. The only spag I note is you need an r placed:
Brightly they said,
"Give us you(r) child,
Favorite:
Mouths dripped with saliva
That swung just like snot
ewwww! - Wendy
I really liked your piece. - Wendy
Comment Written 10-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
-
Thanks Wendy, will edit that. I don't know about my fascination with things like your fave. Wait for the next one.:) I watch scary movies a quite often with K with whom I live, she's a real fan. And I was reading Edgar..Poe when I was a kid already. When I was a kid, I'd always had to stop and bob down and closely examine anything that was dead. Do you think I'm a weirdo? You don't have to answer that.... and I don't like people who tell lies :) ,Anita
-
I have no problem with a fascination with death, unless you also feel compelled to cause it. I do draw the line there ;)
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks there is an inner child always within us; as one uses it so is the relationship and course of living; as abusing relationship brings unhappiness; let child play due roles; I liked.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
|
This speaks there is an inner child always within us; as one uses it so is the relationship and course of living; as abusing relationship brings unhappiness; let child play due roles; I liked.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
-
Yes, we have great responsibility for our selves - we must learn to take this responsibility in order to evolve and in order for the child to grow properly.
Comment from emptypage
Wow... great description of the inner child. I didn't realize what was going on until I read your notes, and I needed to because it was not obvious in the actual narrative. Shouldn't there be such a clue, if this is your goal?
After reading the notes, the piece meant more. But I don't thing author's notes should have to be read to understand what a poem means.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
 |
Wow... great description of the inner child. I didn't realize what was going on until I read your notes, and I needed to because it was not obvious in the actual narrative. Shouldn't there be such a clue, if this is your goal?
After reading the notes, the piece meant more. But I don't thing author's notes should have to be read to understand what a poem means.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
-
Thanks emptypage. Exactly the type of feedback I need. The poem should speak for itself - stand alone without author's notes to tell you what it's about. I did wonder whether I'd done it and that's why I'm here - to learn what works - I can't give myself feedback!!!!:):) We all know we're not good at that. I shall rework this piece. Thanks ever so much, Aniita
-
Glad I could help. Even without the notes, the poem was good.
-
What the hell?? Did you get six or seven copies of my review? Because I got 7 marked Anio replied...but no reply. FS needs to get the kinks out.
Comment from Oatmeal
Anio,
This is a beautiful poem. I liked it very much. It was kind of exciting you might say. It made for an enjoyable read. The flow was smooth. The theme well thought out. The descriptive words are well chosen.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
|
Anio,
This is a beautiful poem. I liked it very much. It was kind of exciting you might say. It made for an enjoyable read. The flow was smooth. The theme well thought out. The descriptive words are well chosen.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
-
Hi, so nice to meet you. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my poem. Such kind words. I had a quick look at your work and am looking forward to reading some of yours.
The best of ALL is that you send Love :):) My Heart is just an Open Vessel for that Gift and here - I send Love to you, Anita
Comment from Mustang Patty
thank you for sharing this tale about our inner child, and everything we must do to protect it. You penned this piece with a fine hand, and I loved the feelings it brought to me.
~patty~
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
|
thank you for sharing this tale about our inner child, and everything we must do to protect it. You penned this piece with a fine hand, and I loved the feelings it brought to me.
~patty~
Comment Written 08-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
-
Thanks so much patty. You know this is an actual experience I had in deep, deep meditation when I was also doing Inner Child work as therapy to help with my depression. I went into such a deep trance that I actually 'saw' this scene (there was more) and I was 'part of' this chase - well, it taught me a lot in one got - about all of my 'selves' that I had to now step forward as an adult, and bring Home to safety......... took many years, long story, Anita
Comment from lalajovanoski
Hello my friend, I very much enjoyed reading this nicely written poem. I like the rhyming scheme throughout. I think that the structure and flow was very soft and smoothly done. I like the alliteration. Thank you very much for sharing this. God bless you. With love, Lala
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
|
Hello my friend, I very much enjoyed reading this nicely written poem. I like the rhyming scheme throughout. I think that the structure and flow was very soft and smoothly done. I like the alliteration. Thank you very much for sharing this. God bless you. With love, Lala
Comment Written 08-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
-
And with Love, Lala, I thank you again for your always so helpful and encouraging reviews. This was an actual experience of mine. I was in deep, deep meditation - then in a 'trance-like' state - then I 'saw' this and I 'was this' - I 'ran in this chase' - that's why I can write about it like this. It was the way that I was 'taught' where to keep my inner child safe from abuse. Anita
