Comment from Walu Feral

Exceptional

G'day Cousin.

Sorry it's been so long since I've been around, again. I've missed you and so has Delia.

This my dear friend, is absolute perfection. An amazing take on the picture and far different from the others that I've read. Perfect.

I miss the group and hope I can get back to it when I'm not so busy. I've actually managed to pump out a couple of chapters in the last week or so... I don't know how but I did lol.

Great job and great to see you again.

Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017

Hi, dear cousin, I've missed seeing you on here too. We have just come home from a wonderful holiday in Italy, very tiring but so amazing. I'll look out for your new chapters, when will you be ready to publish? Thank you so very much, Fez, for giving me a 6 for my poem, I'm delighted you enjoyed it. Say Hi, to Delia for me, and sending you both much love and a big hug. :) Sandra, xxxx

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

Sandra, This is a very beautiful and good entry for the picture this challenge. I am so sorry you missed it, but happy you had a great time. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. I have to tell you that is you had entered it I probably would have voted for this great story! Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017

What a lovely thing to say, Teri, thank you so much. I'm really pleased you enjoyed my poem. I do enjoy these challenges. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra. xx

Comment from aryr

Excellent

This was fantastic Sandra. It told a story, a tale that had a comfortable reading flow and a great rhyme. It perfectly fit the picture. I especially like the moral of the tale. It was so great, thanks.

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017

Thank you so much, my dear Alie, that's such a lovely review. I'm really glad you liked my take on the picture. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx

reply by aryr on 08-Jul-2017

You are so welcome Sandra, by the way, welcome back, I hope you had a great time.

Comment from Oatmeal

Excellent

Sandra Stoner Mitchell,

The story line was wonderful. The flow was smooth. The rhyming was well done.
Thoughts are expressed and described well. The words you chose worked nicely.
The theme flowed well all through your poem.

There was no SPAG, no typos, no room for improvement.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017

What a lovely review! Thank you so very much, Oatmeal. I'm delighted you enjoyed my take on the picture! :) Sandra xxx

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Hi Sandra. I'm glad you were able to catch up on the Picture This post upon your return. Your poem is well written and rhymed on an ever-timely topic. The cheery image carries a darker undertone in your piece that seems so compelling nowadays. Marilyn

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017

Thanks, Marilyn. It does seem to be the way of the world at the moment. So sad. :) Sandra xxx

Comment from Mitchell Brontė

Excellent

Hi Sandra
This picture this challenge poem made for an enjoyable read. It flowed very nicely. Comprehensible and very professionally written. Your excellent reflections are insightful and impressive. Good chosen words, capturing the very essence of this town.
The descriptive words created wonderful impressions throughout the effortless flow of this most enjoyable read.
Mitchell.

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017

That's nice of you to say such lovely comments on my take of the picture, Mitchell! Thank you so much. :) Sandra xx

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I am glad you were inspired by the group's picture and I look forward to your glimpses of Italy. I admired your storytelling and your rhymed couplets in rhythmic quatrains, plus the moral. Best wishes catching up- Joan

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017

Thank you, Joan, for your lovely review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. :) Sandra xxx

Comment from Hansel1

Excellent

A whimsical start, with a tragic finish. An ironic undertone behind the demise of the once lovely town, conveyed through the eyes of acceptance and fair treatment.

Your attention to the syllable counts per line makes the piece read quite smooth and elegant.

I would consider taking a look at the first lines in stanza 3 and 4. While I think grammatically it makes sense, the number of commas in line 1 of stanza 3 takes you out of the wonderful pace you've set throughout the rest of the read.

Likewise, while line 1 of stanza 4 reads well, the singular toss in of old English / slang ('Twas) among a piece with otherwise precise diction could throw readers off meter as well.

Either way, a lovely piece. Thank you for sharing your work - Cheers!

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017

Thank you so much, Hansel, for this really helpful review. I've made a couple of changes now, and hope you find it reads a bit better now. I'm really pleased you did enjoy it, though, thank you! :) Sandra xxx

Comment from rspoet

Exceptional

Hello Sandra,
A very fine story, poem, parable, and lesson
Somehow, I don't think many would interpret the picture in this way
This must be where Sir John lived, and the curse touched everyone
Very nicely metered and rhymed
A wonderful poem for the picture challenge
Well done
RS
Welcome back!

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017

Hi, Robert. You always make me laugh, Sir John definitely would be blighted if it were at all possible. Thank you so much for the 6 stars, dear friend. It's nice to be back, I had a lovely time, but very tiring. I'll write about it soon. I have to sort poor Veronica out first. Big hugs, my dear friend. :) Sandra xxx

Comment from Pam (respa)

Exceptional

-Excellent poem, Sandra,
with very good imagery and story.
-That adds effective progression
about a once happy town that then
had to pay the price for their
neglect of another person.
-Their actions showed us the
point about beauty, and it can't
just be on the outside.
-Nice to see you back:)

 Comment Written 08-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017

Hi , Pam, I arrived home late last night after starting off at 5:30 in the morning, I was totally shattered! It's lovely to be back, though. I had a lovely holiday and I'll write a bit about it soon. Thank you, dear friend, for your wonderful review, and all those stars. I'd send you another hug, but I expect you are feeling bruised with all the hugs I've sent already! LOL. Oh, never mind, I'm sending you one anyway! Thank you, you are a dear friend. :) Sandra xxxxx

reply by Pam (respa) on 08-Jul-2017

You are very welcome for the review, Sandra, and I am glad you had a lovely vacation, although it is nice to see you on FS:) You can never get too many hugs from a dear friend.🙂