A Debt Repaid
An englyn33 total reviews
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Hello my friend you have introduced another form to this site an englyn you have done well you are very talented I think it pays not to deal with a lone shark well done regards Jill
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
  |
Hello my friend you have introduced another form to this site an englyn you have done well you are very talented I think it pays not to deal with a lone shark well done regards Jill
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
-
Many thanks, Jill. I appreciate your review and generous award of six stars. You are right - loan sharks are best avoided! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Taffspride
Wow this is powerful. I confess I have never heard the Englyn as the British equivalent to a haiku. I don't ever remember that comparison coming up at school.
Never-the less what you have written certainly would work well as an Epitaph. I would love to see it written in Welsh. Mine is not good enough to translate.
Great job. Diolch am rhannu
Iechyd da
Ann
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
 |
Wow this is powerful. I confess I have never heard the Englyn as the British equivalent to a haiku. I don't ever remember that comparison coming up at school.
Never-the less what you have written certainly would work well as an Epitaph. I would love to see it written in Welsh. Mine is not good enough to translate.
Great job. Diolch am rhannu
Iechyd da
Ann
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
-
Many thanks, Ann. I especially appreciate your review and kind comments, coming from one familiar with the Welsh tradition. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from krys123
Cheers Tony;
-I can see why the British consider this a British Haiku this form of Englyn poetry. As it has very definitive lines that are constructed to relate to each other or to grammatically be connected. And the last line acts like a Sarori giving the poem that spontaneity of excitement or that AHA moment of reality.
-Also is very similar to an epitaph resident information and description of how this person died and lived his life.
-Very well condensed so much so and it fits in a perfect biography of a man life.
-I found the picture to be very relative and supported to the conceptual theme of this poem.
-Thanks for sharing this, Tony, and take care and have a good one.
Alex
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
|
Cheers Tony;
-I can see why the British consider this a British Haiku this form of Englyn poetry. As it has very definitive lines that are constructed to relate to each other or to grammatically be connected. And the last line acts like a Sarori giving the poem that spontaneity of excitement or that AHA moment of reality.
-Also is very similar to an epitaph resident information and description of how this person died and lived his life.
-Very well condensed so much so and it fits in a perfect biography of a man life.
-I found the picture to be very relative and supported to the conceptual theme of this poem.
-Thanks for sharing this, Tony, and take care and have a good one.
Alex
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
-
Many thanks, Alex. I appreciate your review and kind comments. You take care and have a good one, too, Tony
-
Your sincerely welcome, Tony. Please take care and have a good one especially with your family and friends.
Alex
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Well, that debt was repaid, I think. Too bad for the debtor. I enjoyed your poem Tony. It is as complex as the notes make it seem. It does tell the story well. Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
|
Well, that debt was repaid, I think. Too bad for the debtor. I enjoyed your poem Tony. It is as complex as the notes make it seem. It does tell the story well. Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
-
Many thanks, Jan. I appreciate your review and kind comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Fooled once shame on me, fooled twice, shame on you.
Not a good idea to mess with a loan shark.They are very
unforgiving. You will pay, an arm, a leg, a life.
Good epitaph Tony. Nancy
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
|
Fooled once shame on me, fooled twice, shame on you.
Not a good idea to mess with a loan shark.They are very
unforgiving. You will pay, an arm, a leg, a life.
Good epitaph Tony. Nancy
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
-
Many thanks, Nancy. I appreciate your review and comments. Sharks of all sorts are to be avoided! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Mark Valentine
I don't know where people find these obscure forms, but they are as fun to read as they are (I imagine) challenging to write. I like that you put this one in the form of an epitaph. I like how you turn the phrase "loan shark" into a metaphor that figuratively "bites" people and literally makes them bleed.
The line "Bad risk at rest in the park" sounds so cool and is a great finale.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
|
I don't know where people find these obscure forms, but they are as fun to read as they are (I imagine) challenging to write. I like that you put this one in the form of an epitaph. I like how you turn the phrase "loan shark" into a metaphor that figuratively "bites" people and literally makes them bleed.
The line "Bad risk at rest in the park" sounds so cool and is a great finale.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
-
Many thanks, Mark. I appreciate your review and kind comments. I recently bought a book by Edward Hirsch called A Poet's Glossary. It is packed full of obscure forms, often accompanied by interesting notes and examples. In many ways more of an international history of poetry than just a glossary. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written and interesting poetry format the Englyn known as the English form of a haiku. The odd rhyming pattern seems to be a challenge to do correctly.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
|
A very well-written and interesting poetry format the Englyn known as the English form of a haiku. The odd rhyming pattern seems to be a challenge to do correctly.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
-
Many thanks, Sandra. I appreciate your review and kind comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Messing with loan sharks is not good, or at least that's what the television crime stories say. LOL I enjoyed reading your poem and thank you for the author's notes.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
|
Messing with loan sharks is not good, or at least that's what the television crime stories say. LOL I enjoyed reading your poem and thank you for the author's notes.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
-
Many thanks, Barbara. I appreciate your review and kind comments. Personally, I think all kinds of sharks are best avoided! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Pantygynt
If there is a difficult way of saying something simple the Welsh find it. You don't make life any easier when you call it a four lined piece and write it in five lines. But once I had overcome this piece of antipodean logic I found the details in the note surprisingly easy even though I can only count up to six in Welsh.
The overall euphonium of this is quite beautiful and it makes for anow excellent epitaph.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
|
If there is a difficult way of saying something simple the Welsh find it. You don't make life any easier when you call it a four lined piece and write it in five lines. But once I had overcome this piece of antipodean logic I found the details in the note surprisingly easy even though I can only count up to six in Welsh.
The overall euphonium of this is quite beautiful and it makes for anow excellent epitaph.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
-
Thanks, Jim. I'm gradually working through a backlog of reviews. My wife had a shoulder reconstruction recently and so I am spending more time doing up buttons, being domestic and battling the garden than is usual.
The Welsh and their language have always been a bit of a mystery to me, but I enjoy their singing and folklore.
Perhaps I should reduce the font size of this one. Although it comes up as four lines on my laptop, neither my iPhone nor iPad can handle the extra length of the first line.
Comment from dragonpoet
This seems to be the epitaph of a murdered gambler who couldn't pay his debt.
This is a form that seems difficult to write even though it is short.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
|
This seems to be the epitaph of a murdered gambler who couldn't pay his debt.
This is a form that seems difficult to write even though it is short.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
-
Many thanks, Joan. I appreciate your review and kind comments. Your summary is spot on and you are right about this form being deceptively difficult. Best wishes, Tony
