A Debt Repaid
An englyn33 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
What a complex form! I think you did it well. I am fatigued at the moment, and your rules listed in a paragraph in the notes made my head spin! All I know is how marvelous this resounds read aloud, especially all the words ending in L and the alliteration of B, D and R. Superb internal slant rhyme of dirk and work. All those phonetics have a bouncy beat to them. Groovy job! Fine visual presentation too. Reads like a Gangster film!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2017
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What a complex form! I think you did it well. I am fatigued at the moment, and your rules listed in a paragraph in the notes made my head spin! All I know is how marvelous this resounds read aloud, especially all the words ending in L and the alliteration of B, D and R. Superb internal slant rhyme of dirk and work. All those phonetics have a bouncy beat to them. Groovy job! Fine visual presentation too. Reads like a Gangster film!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 07-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2017
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Trust the Welsh to come up with a form of such complexity! Thank you for noticing all of the phonetic shifts and for showering them with stars! :) Best wishes, Tony
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:-)))))
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing the englyn form and its history--it does have the flavor of a haiku with rhyme, and in this case some alliteration. It also makes for a good epitaph. Sighs- Joan
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
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Thank you for sharing the englyn form and its history--it does have the flavor of a haiku with rhyme, and in this case some alliteration. It also makes for a good epitaph. Sighs- Joan
Comment Written 31-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
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I appreciate your comments, Joan. Many thanks for your review! Tony
Comment from His Grayness
Extremely interesting and highly unusual lesson that is greatly appreciated! The packaging is wonderful and the rhyme and pace is perfect to deliver a truly exceptional work! HIS GRAYNESS: Vance
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Extremely interesting and highly unusual lesson that is greatly appreciated! The packaging is wonderful and the rhyme and pace is perfect to deliver a truly exceptional work! HIS GRAYNESS: Vance
Comment Written 08-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Many thanks, Vance. Very kind of you to say so. I appreciate it! Tony
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Regardless of the form, Tony, your poem is enjoyable because of the story part or the meaning of the words. You paint a gory vision with exquisite poetic dexterity. A master of any new or old poetry form in my opinion, Giddy
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Regardless of the form, Tony, your poem is enjoyable because of the story part or the meaning of the words. You paint a gory vision with exquisite poetic dexterity. A master of any new or old poetry form in my opinion, Giddy
Comment Written 06-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Many thanks, Giddy. Very kind of you to say so. I appreciate the sixth star! Tony
Comment from BeasPeas
I like this style of poetry. Many times in a cemetery (especially ancient ones) the visitor wonders why the deceased is there. This form lets everyone know the reason. Not sure what "dirk" means, though. Author's note is interesting and informative. Marilyn
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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I like this style of poetry. Many times in a cemetery (especially ancient ones) the visitor wonders why the deceased is there. This form lets everyone know the reason. Not sure what "dirk" means, though. Author's note is interesting and informative. Marilyn
Comment Written 06-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Many thanks, Marilyn. A dirk is a dagger. It's a Celtic word. Tony
Comment from estory
I liked all the resounding 'k' sounds, they really thudded like heavy footsteps in this , a great refrain for this moral tale. estory
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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I liked all the resounding 'k' sounds, they really thudded like heavy footsteps in this , a great refrain for this moral tale. estory
Comment Written 06-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Many thanks, estory. Very kind of you to say so. I appreciate your comment about the hard consonents.Tony
Comment from catch22
Hi T, this is a very interesting form that appears you've mastered the technicality of. I thought there was some clever lines in this write, especially the final line to convey a sense of black humor about the murder of a debtor. I liked the mixed of anapest with the iambs in the longer lines. Very clever.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Hi T, this is a very interesting form that appears you've mastered the technicality of. I thought there was some clever lines in this write, especially the final line to convey a sense of black humor about the murder of a debtor. I liked the mixed of anapest with the iambs in the longer lines. Very clever.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Thanks for this, C22. I appreciated your comment about the anapests. Some thought they made the lines too jerky, and I wasn't sure how well they had worked. All the best, Tony
Comment from Irish Rain
Well that's a lesson learned. I would live in terror if I owed money to a loan shark. Ah well....the world is full of surprises! Great Mr. Tony, blessings..
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Well that's a lesson learned. I would live in terror if I owed money to a loan shark. Ah well....the world is full of surprises! Great Mr. Tony, blessings..
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Hi Judy. I think more people get bitten by loan sharks than by real ones! Personally, I steer clear of both! All the best, Tony
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Me too!!!
Comment from frierajac
Dread to think of the end of the loan shark. The clarifiction of the form englym is daunting. Although your rendition of the poem looks to be authentic, as they,
the Welch druid priests were said to rhyme rats to death.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Dread to think of the end of the loan shark. The clarifiction of the form englym is daunting. Although your rendition of the poem looks to be authentic, as they,
the Welch druid priests were said to rhyme rats to death.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Very many thanks, Carolyn, both for your review and for the six stars. I sure wish that I had the Druid art of rhyme. We are plagued with rats and mice on the farm this year! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Oatmeal
tfawcus,
Very reflective, all thoughts are very well described, understandable and comprehensible. Well chosen words are excellent. The theme is strong. Your feelings are expressed well. Your arrangement looks very nice. The flow is
smooth.
There was no SPAG. No room for improvement.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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tfawcus,
Very reflective, all thoughts are very well described, understandable and comprehensible. Well chosen words are excellent. The theme is strong. Your feelings are expressed well. Your arrangement looks very nice. The flow is
smooth.
There was no SPAG. No room for improvement.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Many thanks, Camille. I appreciate your review and kind comments. Best wishes, Tony
