Iris
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "April 24th"A little girl fights leukemia
10 total reviews
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Good morning Maria, this again is another well written piece. It is very interesting so I am still following it. It is great that you are telling it from her voice. Her picture is lovely. She is very pretty.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
  |
Good morning Maria, this again is another well written piece. It is very interesting so I am still following it. It is great that you are telling it from her voice. Her picture is lovely. She is very pretty.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
-
She is! And you should see her now.
Thanks for reading.
-
I'm going to check to see why some of my fans are not getting my posts. I've been reviving some of my old posts so that some of my new fans can read them but they don't seem to be receiving them. "Extreme Loss' was one of my new posts but "Electric Sensations" and "Please Be There" were revivals. Do you think, Maria when you find the time, that you can check out one of these.
-
Of course, I will.
Comment from Sis Cat
Maria, I enjoyed this essay. I was struck by the keen quality of hearing to capture children's speech patterns and thought processes. Your daughter Iris and her friend Lara inspired you to craft believable dialogue:
We ordered, and when our food was ready, sat down at one of the tables I like. The ones that have sofa-like seats on both sides. They are called booths, aren't they?
Your characters pull me into your story. I want to know what becomes of Iris and her leg. Your prose displays a high level of animation and polish.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2017
|
Maria, I enjoyed this essay. I was struck by the keen quality of hearing to capture children's speech patterns and thought processes. Your daughter Iris and her friend Lara inspired you to craft believable dialogue:
We ordered, and when our food was ready, sat down at one of the tables I like. The ones that have sofa-like seats on both sides. They are called booths, aren't they?
Your characters pull me into your story. I want to know what becomes of Iris and her leg. Your prose displays a high level of animation and polish.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2017
-
Thanks for your thorough review, Andre. This is a finished novel, so I will post more soon.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Maria
= Beautiful picture of your daughter and her friend.
= Such a touching story, and always unnerving when waiting for test results.
= Of course, a mom always worry more than they let on, for sure.
<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers <> Jax / Jackie
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2017
|
Hi, Maria
= Beautiful picture of your daughter and her friend.
= Such a touching story, and always unnerving when waiting for test results.
= Of course, a mom always worry more than they let on, for sure.
<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers <> Jax / Jackie
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2017
-
Yeah, worrying is our prerogative.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very good chapter you have penned. You used very good wording and very good dialogue. I love the picture. Iris is a very pretty girl. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2017
|
This is a very good chapter you have penned. You used very good wording and very good dialogue. I love the picture. Iris is a very pretty girl. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2017
-
She is pretty indeed.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from aryr
A good chapter of follow up and progression of Iris's illness. The doctor sure sounded like a good doctor who takes time with a patient and has compassion and understanding. He definitely sounds like he has a good bed side manner which so few lack. It was well written and easy to read and follow. Good dialogue and good descriptions.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2017
|
A good chapter of follow up and progression of Iris's illness. The doctor sure sounded like a good doctor who takes time with a patient and has compassion and understanding. He definitely sounds like he has a good bed side manner which so few lack. It was well written and easy to read and follow. Good dialogue and good descriptions.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2017
-
Thanks for the review, Aryr.
-
You are most welcome.
Comment from royowen
I know when my kids were sick, it struck fear into me, but they were just being and developing as a most children when growing up, now we worry about the grandkids, but this sounds serious, I note you're looking through your own child's eyes, as it were in the first person, I was a voracious reader when young! Well done Maria, excellent, (although you have me worried) well done, excellent readings, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
|
I know when my kids were sick, it struck fear into me, but they were just being and developing as a most children when growing up, now we worry about the grandkids, but this sounds serious, I note you're looking through your own child's eyes, as it were in the first person, I was a voracious reader when young! Well done Maria, excellent, (although you have me worried) well done, excellent readings, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
-
Do not worry, Roy. This is fiction, even though it's based on what really happened to my daughter when she was four. However, she's twenty-two now and living life to the full.
Thanks for reading and caring.
-
Phew, thanks for letting me know Maria, a beautiful little girl. Well done.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
wow what an amazing story, you know just when to stop to keep the interest high and us wanting more. No problems written and a great read
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
|
wow what an amazing story, you know just when to stop to keep the interest high and us wanting more. No problems written and a great read
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
-
More in a few days. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Oh, I hope it really is just the flu - but the leg does complicate things, doesn't it?
The story flows well, and it held my attention from beginning to end. You did a good job of telling the story from the perspective of the child.
~patty~
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
|
Oh, I hope it really is just the flu - but the leg does complicate things, doesn't it?
The story flows well, and it held my attention from beginning to end. You did a good job of telling the story from the perspective of the child.
~patty~
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
-
Thanks for reading this one.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Story lines involving children facing difficulties usually make for interesting reading for many people.
Sometimes, when a child does not solicit the response they seek from their parents they will question "I wondered if she wasn't really worried or just pretending not to care".
Their way of gaining the attention they are really seeking.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
|
Story lines involving children facing difficulties usually make for interesting reading for many people.
Sometimes, when a child does not solicit the response they seek from their parents they will question "I wondered if she wasn't really worried or just pretending not to care".
Their way of gaining the attention they are really seeking.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
-
Thanks for your thoughts on this chapter.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written heartfelt story, it is always better to see a doctor on any sign of sickness, the earlier the better. We are not trained or equipped to judge an illness at sight.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
|
A very well-written heartfelt story, it is always better to see a doctor on any sign of sickness, the earlier the better. We are not trained or equipped to judge an illness at sight.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
-
You're so right.
Thanks for reading.
