Comment from MelB

Excellent

Hi Patty, oh, I wanted to hear how that phone call went. I couldn't help but wonder if the guy never got married and never had any kids, why it would mess up his life to know the only son he does have? A great contest entry.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017

Hi Mel; thank you so much for the lovely review. I'm going to expand this piece into several parts. There is a great deal of interest in how it all went. Thank you for reading,

~patty~

Comment from bookishfabler

Excellent

I haven't looked up any of the contests in a long time. Wow, this certainly fits the bill. I couldn't put it down, so to speak. Great job. Not nits or spags I could see. Good luck in the contest.
hugs Heidi

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017

Hi Heidi;
thank you so much for the lovely review,

~patty~

Comment from sunao

Excellent

Wow! I got a little confused though about who the subjects were. Where they the parents towards the end or Ron? Anyway, thank you so much for sharing. I enjoyed reading this. Please keep up the good work and good luck on the contest.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017

thank you for reading this piece. The voice on the phone, Jenny was the birth mother, and Ron was indeed, the birth father. Thank you for your time,

~patty~

reply by sunao on 04-Jul-2017

Your welcome!

Comment from Cycler

Excellent

Well written. Very truthful, believable. And entertaining. No beating around the bush as the two talked with each other. I like that. I like being able to see a conversation and have them put all the cards on the table - cut to the chaste about the situation. Drama without long drawn out drama. I can see with a short story, this style is very effective.
Great job and I really enjoyed the read!

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017

thank you so much for your wonderful review. Yes, they needed to get down to business with the limited word count! I've decided to take this story and turn it into a much longer piece - there won't be so many unanswered questions then,

~patty~

reply by Cycler on 01-Jul-2017

Nice, very nice
Thanks for your reply

Comment from lalajovanoski

Excellent

Hello dear friend, I really enjoyed reading this beautifully written piece. I think that this is a very excellent entry for the call contest. They should do very well. Good luck to you and I wish you all the best. Thank you very much for sharing this. God bless you. With love la

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017

Hi La La; thank you so much for the wonderful review. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece. I've decided to turn it into a much longer piece at some point - that way, there won't be so many unanswered questions,

~patty~

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

Patty, This is a great entry for the contest - The call. You used very good descriptive wording, great imagery and dialogue. I enjoyed it from start to finish. Best wishes in the contest. Teri

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017

Hi Teri; thank you so much for the lovely review,

~patty~

Comment from JW

Excellent

I can only imagine the feeling if this happened in real life. Thank goodness. It is something I never have to worry about. Yet. It did stir memories regarding a previous marriage. And now, if I was going to do things again, many things would have been done differently.

Sigh. JW

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017

Hi there; I think this can happen in real life - at least in the early 2000s. It would be the residual of the hot and heavy early 1980s. Too many people weren't using any protection; the AIDS scare hadn't hit yet, and young people always think they will beat the odds.

But there are consequences to our actions and they will eventually catch up to us,

~patty~

Comment from Bloviator

Exceptional

Wow, this was powerful! I felt like I was the one on the phone talking to Jenny. Is this part of a chapter book you are working on? I'd love to see how the story turns out!

Thanks,

Tony

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017

Hi Tony; thank you so much for the lovely review. I have decided to turn this into a longer work - it should be coming up as a posting in several parts - I hope you will read along to see how it all turns out,

~patty~
ps; thank you for the shiny sixth star

Comment from frierajac

Excellent

This is a very honest rendition of a modern day occurence. My close friend , in fact.
I especially like the portrayal of the male who is perhaps the real father, and his accepting attitude toward the woman. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017

thank you so much for the wonderful review of this piece. It will be showing up here in a few weeks as a much longer piece - I felt that there was just so much more to say,

~patty~

Comment from mermaids

Excellent

Your story is true to life. How often has this phone call taken place. Excellent dialog and character development. The reader gets a feel for who and what kind of person Ron is. Your story also makes the reader think.

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017

thank you so much for the lovely review of this piece. I have decided to turn this into a longer piece - it should be posted over a few parts in the next few weeks; I hope you will follow along,

~patty~