The Products of Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "After Eighteen Years"...the story of Jenny and Ron
62 total reviews
Comment from judsmith
This was extremely well written. The reader sympathizes with Lisa, of course. As for Ron, what a jerk! Good characterizations. And you worked in TWO calls, not just one. I loved it. Respectfully, Jud Smith
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
This was extremely well written. The reader sympathizes with Lisa, of course. As for Ron, what a jerk! Good characterizations. And you worked in TWO calls, not just one. I loved it. Respectfully, Jud Smith
Comment Written 08-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
-
thank you so much for your kind review.
~patty~
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a very good story for the contest regarding a "call." Your writing is clear and well paced. Dialogue is believable and all questions brought up and answered logically. A worthy entry. Marilyn
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
This is a very good story for the contest regarding a "call." Your writing is clear and well paced. Dialogue is believable and all questions brought up and answered logically. A worthy entry. Marilyn
Comment Written 03-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
-
Hi Marilyn; thank you for the lovely review and the good wishes for the contest,
~patty~
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
A very deep story, my friend. so many emotions for all involved. My mom was adopted, but did always know who her mother was, because she kept threatening to kidnap her back~Debbie
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
A very deep story, my friend. so many emotions for all involved. My mom was adopted, but did always know who her mother was, because she kept threatening to kidnap her back~Debbie
Comment Written 03-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
-
Hi Debbie;
thank you for the thoughtful review of this piece. It must have been awful for your mother to grow up under the threat of being kidnapped!
~patty~
Comment from Jerimy C. Stoll
Wow,
I wasn't sure what to expect. Dramas are not something I usually go for, but you wrote this episode in a pleasantly realistic fashion. It was easy to become intrigued with your story. Your style is remarkable. I couldn't find any spelling errors or grammatical errors. My favorite part of the story was when she promised to tell their son about his father's desire to abort him. That was a touching point and it pulls on the heartstrings of your audience. Thank you for sharing such a great piece of literature.
Jerimy
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
Wow,
I wasn't sure what to expect. Dramas are not something I usually go for, but you wrote this episode in a pleasantly realistic fashion. It was easy to become intrigued with your story. Your style is remarkable. I couldn't find any spelling errors or grammatical errors. My favorite part of the story was when she promised to tell their son about his father's desire to abort him. That was a touching point and it pulls on the heartstrings of your audience. Thank you for sharing such a great piece of literature.
Jerimy
Comment Written 02-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
-
thank you so much for this beautiful review. Your words of praise fill my heart with joy. I wrote this after a friend told me her story, and I hoped to do it justice - and your review, among the others lets me know I did a good job,
~patty~
ps; thank you so much for the shiny sixth star
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Not knowing whether the son was his or not would keep most men on edge until they found out for sure one way of the other.
Interesting human interest story posted here.
Should make an interesting entry into this contest.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
Not knowing whether the son was his or not would keep most men on edge until they found out for sure one way of the other.
Interesting human interest story posted here.
Should make an interesting entry into this contest.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
-
Hi Brett; thank you so much for reading and reviewing this piece. I appreciate your well wishes for the contest,
~patty~
Comment from Marvin Calloway
Well done from start to finish. It's all quite believable. Very well written with nary an unnecessary word.
A sad yet all too common scenario.
You might want to avoid phrases like, 'a hard one' with this subject matter. (It's distracting.)
typo: comma after . . . he said, . . .
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
Well done from start to finish. It's all quite believable. Very well written with nary an unnecessary word.
A sad yet all too common scenario.
You might want to avoid phrases like, 'a hard one' with this subject matter. (It's distracting.)
typo: comma after . . . he said, . . .
Comment Written 02-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
-
Hi Marv; thank you so much for the lovely review of this piece. I was told of this story by a friend. I have a few more stories in mind based on her experience - I hope I can continue to do it justice,
~patty~
-
You'll do fine.
Comment from Bill Schott
This story, After Eighteen Years, hits so many nails on the head that it can't be fiction. These are the types of ideas and conversations that I would probably be thinking and saying if this situation ever popped up in my life. I love how it remains unresolved (at least for now) in your story. Perhaps that is due to the necessity of falling in under 1000 words. Still, loved it.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
This story, After Eighteen Years, hits so many nails on the head that it can't be fiction. These are the types of ideas and conversations that I would probably be thinking and saying if this situation ever popped up in my life. I love how it remains unresolved (at least for now) in your story. Perhaps that is due to the necessity of falling in under 1000 words. Still, loved it.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
-
Hi Bill; thank you so much for the lovely review of this story. This is based on a story told to me by a friend. I only hope I can continue to do it justice. She has given me permission to tell the tale, and I plan to make it a few stories from different perspectives - yes, the word count for the contest kept this part short,
~patty~
Comment from Bichon
I loved this. I was glued to the story from the second the phone rang to when it hung up. I wish you the best of luck in the contest with this amazing story.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
I loved this. I was glued to the story from the second the phone rang to when it hung up. I wish you the best of luck in the contest with this amazing story.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
-
Hi Chloe; thank you so much for the lovely review. You will be seeing these two characters again,
~patty~
Comment from Rasmine
Good luck in the contest! This is a real good call. I really hope to see some new names on the winning list. I don't know if this is CEC or someone's contest.
Have a great Fourth of July!
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
Good luck in the contest! This is a real good call. I really hope to see some new names on the winning list. I don't know if this is CEC or someone's contest.
Have a great Fourth of July!
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
-
Hi there; this is a contest by the G-Man. I hope it does well, too. I haven't been able to get anywhere with the CEC contests, but I will try when I can,
~patty~
Comment from pbomar1115
Patty, this is an excellent story. The conflict was well crafted, keeping me glued to every word until the end. You made the well-written conflict seem easy. You surprised me with this one. Your short story is on point. Excellent.
Phillip
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
Patty, this is an excellent story. The conflict was well crafted, keeping me glued to every word until the end. You made the well-written conflict seem easy. You surprised me with this one. Your short story is on point. Excellent.
Phillip
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
-
Hi Phillip; thank you for the lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed this one. You will see this characters again as their story is told in several parts,
~patty~
-
You're welcome.
Phillip