Unleashed Chaos
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Forgiveness"A Novel of the Breedline Series
7 total reviews
Comment from apky
You wrote a fabulously steamy sex scene with taste but without pulling back on the heat, nor the love and attraction between the lovers. That's a straight six in my books.
The rest of the chapter was also fantastic, and you only have a couple of typos.
Wonderful, Shana.
He kept his stare (on her), waiting for her response.
Cassie's hands grasped his hips and thrust upward. (You need to rewrite this one, darling - it can't be Cassie's "hands" that "thrust upward", right?)
Of all the decision(delete ')s Tessa was in charge of, she had just made the worst one, he thought.
PS: The photo/artwork is fabulous too!
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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You wrote a fabulously steamy sex scene with taste but without pulling back on the heat, nor the love and attraction between the lovers. That's a straight six in my books.
The rest of the chapter was also fantastic, and you only have a couple of typos.
Wonderful, Shana.
He kept his stare (on her), waiting for her response.
Cassie's hands grasped his hips and thrust upward. (You need to rewrite this one, darling - it can't be Cassie's "hands" that "thrust upward", right?)
Of all the decision(delete ')s Tessa was in charge of, she had just made the worst one, he thought.
PS: The photo/artwork is fabulous too!
Comment Written 30-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
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Thank you so much! :)
You just made my day! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, especially the steamy scene. I always worry when I place a chapter with adult content in FanStory without offending readers, but that is the risk I must take. My books contain adult material, adult language, and violence. But I try to keep it tasteful.
Thanks for the help. I appreciate all I can get. :)
Thanks again my friend!
Your fan,
Shana :)
Comment from ngage
Love the photo you placed with the chapter.
You dazzled me with a sizzling romance scene between Cassie & Drakon. The pages steamed!
I thought the character Jace was going to kill Eve. His mood turn around was surprising. I see why you called this chapter, Forgiveness. You had me glued to the screen until the end. Another fantastic episode!
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Love the photo you placed with the chapter.
You dazzled me with a sizzling romance scene between Cassie & Drakon. The pages steamed!
I thought the character Jace was going to kill Eve. His mood turn around was surprising. I see why you called this chapter, Forgiveness. You had me glued to the screen until the end. Another fantastic episode!
Comment Written 29-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
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Thank you, ngage! :)
I was hoping you'd enjoy the romance scene. I really enjoy Cassie and Drakon's bond. They look like they wouldn't be together since she is so petite and his height of 6'7" towers over her. But it works. I wanted Jace to find it in his heart to forgive. I think he'll come around more as the story unfolds.
Thanks again,
Shana :)
Comment from Hamiel
Well,well!very interesting. On the part of having love on two breeds on the first part of the story, there should be no more pleading...just simply said.."let's do it now". Somehow they are already in half and they have similar feelings to do it. I am talking about cassie and the she wolf. Anyway,very good. Peace.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Well,well!very interesting. On the part of having love on two breeds on the first part of the story, there should be no more pleading...just simply said.."let's do it now". Somehow they are already in half and they have similar feelings to do it. I am talking about cassie and the she wolf. Anyway,very good. Peace.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
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Thank you, Hamiel :)
Your review definitely put a smile on my face. I love your reaction. Yes, this chapter steams up the pages. :)
Thanks for your generous rating and the great feedback. Hope to hear from you again.
Shana :)
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Interesting storyline that possesses enough action to move the tale along.
Several different directions you could travel this accounting in from this point forward.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Interesting storyline that possesses enough action to move the tale along.
Several different directions you could travel this accounting in from this point forward.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Thank you, Brett :)
I appreciate you taking the time to read my chapter. Yes, the story takes many twist and turns in which it can go so many ways. Hope to hear from you again.
Shana :)
Comment from rwilliam
OH my, I love the photo for this piece!! Well done!
When Cassie moved forward, he watched the pink tips of her breasts tighten.--What a great way to write this scene. I really liked the description.
Excellent chapter. Very well done. I like how you ended this chapter. Left me wanting more. :-D
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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OH my, I love the photo for this piece!! Well done!
When Cassie moved forward, he watched the pink tips of her breasts tighten.--What a great way to write this scene. I really liked the description.
Excellent chapter. Very well done. I like how you ended this chapter. Left me wanting more. :-D
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Thank you, my dear friend :)
So glad this chapter hasn't offended anyone. Whew! You never know. The story wouldn't be as much fun to write without romantic scenes between bonded mates. I love hearing from you and getting your feedback. I learn so much from you. You're the best!
Shana :)
Comment from Ricky1024
This chapter was much better then the previous one I reviewed.
Theme was great as well As Imagery.
Flowed better with no Grammar issues.
Adjective Content, which is so important, added color...
'And, was excellent.
Objective Content ended this chapter well.
Thanks,
Ricky1024.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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This chapter was much better then the previous one I reviewed.
Theme was great as well As Imagery.
Flowed better with no Grammar issues.
Adjective Content, which is so important, added color...
'And, was excellent.
Objective Content ended this chapter well.
Thanks,
Ricky1024.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Thank you, Ricky! :)
So glad to hear from you again. It's great to hear you enjoyed this chapter better than the last post. That means I'm keeping your interested. Your feedback is very inspiring. Thanks again my friend!
Shana :)
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You write so well Shauna.
And you like Sci-fi!
Which is...
'Spoctologically, Spoctological, Logically Logical which means that your works are...
"ENTERPRISING!!!
Ricky...
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I love your reply, Ricky :) The highlight of my day.
Shana :)
Comment from bmethner
Very interesting read. The plot and characters are so well defined and thought out. The story flowed very nicely. The concept is creatively divulged though the character's conversations. It certainly has the power to intrigue its audience. I enjoyed it very much and look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Very interesting read. The plot and characters are so well defined and thought out. The story flowed very nicely. The concept is creatively divulged though the character's conversations. It certainly has the power to intrigue its audience. I enjoyed it very much and look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Thank you! :)
Your kind review and positive feedback was inspiring. So glad you enjoyed. I was hoping I wouldn't offend anyone with the adult portion. I hope to hear back from you again.
Thanks again,
Shana :)
