Comment from Rasmine

Excellent

It looks like a Christmas tree. :D I love the way you put your words together. I sure hope you aren't feeling like that now.

My favorite lines:
Darkness
Surrounding me
Spiraling to the depths

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017

Hi there; unfortunately, this is where I am right now. I hope it will improve soon. This one came out of the blue - no rhyme or reason - but then when you're bipolar, there rarely is,

~patty~

reply by Rasmine on 26-Jun-2017

I'm sorry. Please, feel better fast!

Comment from Lindagail Hall

Excellent

I like the cinquain, and I really did enjoy reading yours. I know that dark hole swamping very well. Lol. Think you chose a fantastic picture that represents your word choice perfectly.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017

thank you so much for the lovely review. The hole seems very deep right now,

~patty~

reply by Lindagail Hall on 26-Jun-2017

For sure it gets deeper by the day.

reply by Lindagail Hall on 26-Jun-2017

For sure it gets deeper by the day.

Comment from Lena Borghi

Excellent

The cinquain form is very effective for this dark and dreary poem as the brevity of the first two and last lines adds impact, creates a feeling of isolation and hopelessness. Your first four lines all have either a grammatical connection or good segue, and when one gets to the last line, it feels like a bit of a stumble. The meaning is understood, but the pattern is broken. In my head, I changed "once again" to "''til there is" and the weight of the darkness seemed greater.

Well done. Perfect artwork.

Lena

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017

Hi Lena; thank you so much for your thoughtful and concise review. I reworded the fourth line to your suggestion - you are right; it reads much better!

Thank you for your help,

~patty~

Comment from sharonlshelley

Excellent

that is a very powerful poem to read in limits words i really enjoyed this peace as it has a lot of depth in it the darkness alone is a scary place to be, thank you for sharing Sharon

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017

Hi Sharon; thank you so much for the lovely review of this poem. I appreciate your time and words of encouragement,

~patty~

Comment from Eternal Muse

Excellent

A strong Cinquain, a little on the dark side, but technically perfect. Excellent picture chosen and powerful visuals.

If this is for a contest, good luck!

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017

Hi; thank you for the wonderful review; the poem is dark because I'm actually in the depth of the hole, but hopefully, it won't be for too long,

~patty~

Comment from Marvin Calloway

Excellent

Things have a way of repeating themselves by triggering, inadvertently, one of an unsure number of automatic responses. In a weak moment it can be difficult to rectify. Marv

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017

Hi Marv; thank you so much for the lovely review. I'm kind of down right now - for absolutely no reason - but hopefully, it won't be for too long,

~patty~

reply by Marvin Calloway on 26-Jun-2017

Go back and read my poem, "Cough and Sneeze."

Comment from JDRBAR

Excellent

This is wonderful. The imagery it evokes is so strong. Suffering from depression, I could never express it as well as you just did. This isn't marked as a contest entry but if it were it would sure get my vote.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017

Hi; it never seems as though a contest is running at the right time as my muse - I'm down for a bit - hopefully, not too long, but it felt like a good time to write about it,

~patty~

reply by JDRBAR on 26-Jun-2017

There are times when I'm sorely depressed that I do my very best writing. Strange, isn't it?

Comment from frierajac

Excellent

Thank you for posting this particular version of the form cinquain. The illustration is apt for the theme of 'down the rabbit hole' as it has inklings of Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, who was also of photographer of small nude children, a sinner I imagine in today's world. Perhaps the theme is depression over the immediate world or of personal origin, or?

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017

Hi; thank you so much for the lovely review. Yes, I am feeling down - part of my cycle of life - and I thought it would be best described in poetic form,
~patty~

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written Cinquain. The darkness can surround us very quickly and will draw us under into the depths where we struggle to find our way back into the light.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017

Hi; thank you so much for the lovely review. Yes, I am feeling down - part of my cycle of life - and I thought it would be best described in poetic form,
~patty~

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Patty,

This is a great cinquain. Love the way your well-chosen words line up on the page. Your colors & image are perfect. Your message is awesome, too. Good job on its style--the cinquain. Jan

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017

Hi Jan; thank you so much for the lovely review. I appreciate your kind words of encouragement,

~patty~