My Book of Poems 2010-2017
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Down the Rabbit Hole"a collection of my poetry
94 total reviews
Comment from Irish Rain
I seldom get depressed....but this week was an exception. So, I know EXACTLY how this feels. Pulling myself back up, slowly. Great Cinquain, blessings....
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
I seldom get depressed....but this week was an exception. So, I know EXACTLY how this feels. Pulling myself back up, slowly. Great Cinquain, blessings....
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Hi Karyn; yup, the 'pulling up' stage is sometimes harder than the actual downward spiral,
~patty~
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I KNOW..especially when you still have to be around the people who made you depressed, ha ha....
Comment from writerjen
Very descriptive poem. You followed the cinquain requirements. Not sure how this is self improvement, maybe self destruction? The one criticism I would give is that the text was difficult to read...just the font color and style made it hard to see. Otherwise, good job.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
Very descriptive poem. You followed the cinquain requirements. Not sure how this is self improvement, maybe self destruction? The one criticism I would give is that the text was difficult to read...just the font color and style made it hard to see. Otherwise, good job.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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thank you so much for the lovely review. I went in and changed the font - thank you for making a note of it,
~patty~
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sure, glad it was helpful.
Comment from c_lucas
A unique title for a spectacular poem. "Down the Rabbit hole," brings to mind "Alice In Wonderland. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
A unique title for a spectacular poem. "Down the Rabbit hole," brings to mind "Alice In Wonderland. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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hi there; thank you so much for the lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem,
~patty~
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You are a very talented word smith, Patty.
Comment from smbau
The poem relates to many who feel am emptiness inside. The darkness is like going down a rabbit hole. The poet imagines the darkness in the rabbit hole surrounding and going in spirals till there is nothing. Nothing but darkness. Could mean a void of some kind. The picture though dark to match the poem, the red brings hopeful sense. Over stretching the meaning behind the poet's choice of picture background and font colors, the poem could mean, in darkness, in void creation emerge.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
The poem relates to many who feel am emptiness inside. The darkness is like going down a rabbit hole. The poet imagines the darkness in the rabbit hole surrounding and going in spirals till there is nothing. Nothing but darkness. Could mean a void of some kind. The picture though dark to match the poem, the red brings hopeful sense. Over stretching the meaning behind the poet's choice of picture background and font colors, the poem could mean, in darkness, in void creation emerge.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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thank you so much for this review,
~patty~
Comment from Hansel1
You captured despair wonderfully in this piece. The progression of going further down the hole provided good imagery during the read as well. I felt overwhelmed just from reading it (which was a good thing mind you). Thank you for sharing your work as always Patty - Cheers!
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
You captured despair wonderfully in this piece. The progression of going further down the hole provided good imagery during the read as well. I felt overwhelmed just from reading it (which was a good thing mind you). Thank you for sharing your work as always Patty - Cheers!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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thank you so much for the lovely review,
~patty~
Comment from nomi338
You dd such a fine job of writing this piece. Your choice and placement of words gave me a momentary sense of panic. LOL. I was made to evaluate what my actions might be in a similar situation. I am sure that panicking would be the worse thing that I could do. Very good.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
You dd such a fine job of writing this piece. Your choice and placement of words gave me a momentary sense of panic. LOL. I was made to evaluate what my actions might be in a similar situation. I am sure that panicking would be the worse thing that I could do. Very good.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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thank you so much for the lovely review,
~patty~
Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson
This is a very awesome Cinquain poem, Patty. Very deep and dark, literally.
Nice job! Good luck! ~Kerry
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
This is a very awesome Cinquain poem, Patty. Very deep and dark, literally.
Nice job! Good luck! ~Kerry
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Hi Kerry; thank you so much for the lovely review,
~patty~
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Your very welcome
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello my friend
Nice Cinquainis poem. The presentation is interesting. I like the colors. The topic is dark and somewhat scary. Something Dean would come up with.... LoL good job, Party.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
Hello my friend
Nice Cinquainis poem. The presentation is interesting. I like the colors. The topic is dark and somewhat scary. Something Dean would come up with.... LoL good job, Party.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Hi Gypsy; what a lovely compliment - something Dean would come up with! LOL - no, not really, but thanks for making me smile,
~patty~
Comment from royowen
Well done with this entry in this cinquain, some great descriptive language, possibly projected imagery concerning depression, accurate and articulately written and presented, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
Well done with this entry in this cinquain, some great descriptive language, possibly projected imagery concerning depression, accurate and articulately written and presented, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Hi Roy; thank you so much for the lovely review,
~patty~
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Most welcome Patty
Comment from Ann Philips
I think this was a very nice subject for the Cinquain format. The lines flowed well into each successive line to create a clear message. Yet four out of five lines stand alone in meaning as well, which was very nice.
I'm not as fond of the words "way down", they don't seem as strong as the rest of the word choices. "Spiraling", "depths", even "darkness" and "nothing" are such rich words that have so much range of meaning (emotional, visual, and psychological).
This was very nicely done.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
I think this was a very nice subject for the Cinquain format. The lines flowed well into each successive line to create a clear message. Yet four out of five lines stand alone in meaning as well, which was very nice.
I'm not as fond of the words "way down", they don't seem as strong as the rest of the word choices. "Spiraling", "depths", even "darkness" and "nothing" are such rich words that have so much range of meaning (emotional, visual, and psychological).
This was very nicely done.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Hi Ann; thank you so much for the lovely review. I appreciate your time,
~patty~