Iris
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "23rd April"A little girl fights leukemia
13 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hola Maria Jose, this is very well written and comes over so very natural. I know you've told us before about your daughter's illness. The dialogue and imagery is very, very good, and I look forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
  |
Hola Maria Jose, this is very well written and comes over so very natural. I know you've told us before about your daughter's illness. The dialogue and imagery is very, very good, and I look forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 29-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2017
-
Thanks for reading, Ulla.
Comment from Teri7
Maria, This is a very well written chapter you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with your words. The dialogue was really good too. I can see the brother and sister are close. I enjoyed reading and reviewing it. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
|
Maria, This is a very well written chapter you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with your words. The dialogue was really good too. I can see the brother and sister are close. I enjoyed reading and reviewing it. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
-
I'm glad you liked it, Teri.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Maria. I wondered if you wrote this intentionally, "... ours looks like a pigsty and a (one?) pigsty ..."
Well I just know I'm going to have to stock up on my box of tissues for this one ... sighs! You have given your reader and insight to the pain of this moment and what is to come. Well written.
I'm sorry if your own girl had to fight leukemia. I worked in a children's hospital in Dallas early on in my career and it was a heart wrenching experience. Good luck my friend. xoxo deborah
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
|
Hi Maria. I wondered if you wrote this intentionally, "... ours looks like a pigsty and a (one?) pigsty ..."
Well I just know I'm going to have to stock up on my box of tissues for this one ... sighs! You have given your reader and insight to the pain of this moment and what is to come. Well written.
I'm sorry if your own girl had to fight leukemia. I worked in a children's hospital in Dallas early on in my career and it was a heart wrenching experience. Good luck my friend. xoxo deborah
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
-
I made the correction, Deborah.
Fortunately, my daughter is 22 now and doing great (she was 4 when she got sick).
Thanks for reading.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Oh and what a fight it had to have been. I work at Ronald McDonald house and I see the fights of the kids and it amazes me the attitude they have. Amazing piece of writing
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
|
Oh and what a fight it had to have been. I work at Ronald McDonald house and I see the fights of the kids and it amazes me the attitude they have. Amazing piece of writing
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
-
I'm glad you liked it, Barb. You're right. The kids are always so positive.
Thanks for your review.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your story. This sounds just like a brother & sister would act. I understand the mother's actions, too. Your beginning of the book is off to a great start.
bath tub---> bathtub
Good job & thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
|
I enjoyed your story. This sounds just like a brother & sister would act. I understand the mother's actions, too. Your beginning of the book is off to a great start.
bath tub---> bathtub
Good job & thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
-
Thanks for reading, Jan.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Maria
= Oh, very good chapter. I feel so bad for her.
= You know, I was such a whiner and caused my brother no end of grief for him, but when the chips were down just like her brother, Jim always came through for me.
<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers & Blessings <> Jax
<> Published as <> Jacqueline M Franklin
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
|
Hi, Maria
= Oh, very good chapter. I feel so bad for her.
= You know, I was such a whiner and caused my brother no end of grief for him, but when the chips were down just like her brother, Jim always came through for me.
<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers & Blessings <> Jax
<> Published as <> Jacqueline M Franklin
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
-
Thanks for your review, Jax.
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Oh, Maria! I'm so sorry. I hope that she is well now.
This story is very well written. I love how you are telling it from the voice of your daughter. It is like she is talking to us, I love it. This makes it very effective. I stayed interested through the whole read. Will you be posting anymore of this story? If you do I will be following the story.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
|
Oh, Maria! I'm so sorry. I hope that she is well now.
This story is very well written. I love how you are telling it from the voice of your daughter. It is like she is talking to us, I love it. This makes it very effective. I stayed interested through the whole read. Will you be posting anymore of this story? If you do I will be following the story.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
-
My daughter is doing very well now.
And yes, I guess I will be posting more of this story. In fact I have written the whole thing (it's a short novel).
Thanks for reading.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written chapter. Children are very sensitive about the atmosphere in the house and they will try to avoid making the atmosphere worse ad far as possible. It is better to see a doctor asap before the condition gets worse.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
|
A very well-written chapter. Children are very sensitive about the atmosphere in the house and they will try to avoid making the atmosphere worse ad far as possible. It is better to see a doctor asap before the condition gets worse.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
-
Thanks for your comments, Sandra. I appreciate your constant support.
Comment from damommy
Too many children have parents that are self-absorbed. It must be hard for those children to cope, and also protect their mother.
I like the love shown by Marcus for his sister.
Good story that held my interest all the way.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
|
Too many children have parents that are self-absorbed. It must be hard for those children to cope, and also protect their mother.
I like the love shown by Marcus for his sister.
Good story that held my interest all the way.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
-
I'm glad you like it, Yvonne.
Thanks for the review.
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Maria. I enjoyed reading Iris's story, told by you through her eyes. Delightful. Your kids are the ages of my grandsons--11 and 13. Your story flows very well and has great input as seen through the eyes of a child your daughter's age. Very nice indeed. Marilyn
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
|
Hi Maria. I enjoyed reading Iris's story, told by you through her eyes. Delightful. Your kids are the ages of my grandsons--11 and 13. Your story flows very well and has great input as seen through the eyes of a child your daughter's age. Very nice indeed. Marilyn
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
-
Well, in real life my children are 27, 22 and 12. Iris is 22 at the moment and she was 4 when she had leukemia. As you will see if you continue reading, I've changed many details when writing this novel. Others are true. For example, my eldest son is called Marcos.
Thanks for reading.
-
Hi Maria. I do remember that you said your daughter had an illness (in previous writes). Iris is doing well now, I hope? Marilyn
