Scattered Like My Thoughts
My thoughts are scattered and they're cloudy.89 total reviews
Comment from cupa tea
Oral story telling is one of the best methods, and my favorite, of hearing a story. I love to hear those. You prepare yourself not to be shocked because you know its coming and, lol, you are shocked anyway.
Nice little poem with an excellent picture to go along with it. I always do well with short, sweet poetry. Good luck with the contest!
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Oral story telling is one of the best methods, and my favorite, of hearing a story. I love to hear those. You prepare yourself not to be shocked because you know its coming and, lol, you are shocked anyway.
Nice little poem with an excellent picture to go along with it. I always do well with short, sweet poetry. Good luck with the contest!
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Yes, cupa tea, whenever I see a possible idea for a poem, like these clouds I saw and photographed when I left my home one morning during a heatwave, I ask myself, "Where is the story?" Then I ask, "Where is the drama, action, or conflict?" As small as my poem is , I tell a story and rehearse it aloud to ensure it pleases my ear and my imagination. Thank you for your review.
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I remember reading a story you write about your boyfriend and a production you were doing and someone else was bothering you...I laughed and laughed about that. You did a wonderful job writing about it...
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Oh, thank you, I am glad you enjoyed my story, too, and that it made you laugh.
Comment from jlsavell
Andre' ,
I hope this morning find you well. Something tells me, your thoughts are never scattered but this 5-7-5 speaks volumes. It is potent as each word is perfectly placed to create such an intense reaction. Beautiful work.
Jimi
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Andre' ,
I hope this morning find you well. Something tells me, your thoughts are never scattered but this 5-7-5 speaks volumes. It is potent as each word is perfectly placed to create such an intense reaction. Beautiful work.
Jimi
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Jimi, for your generous, six star review. When I left my house one morning during a heatwave to walk my dog before it got too hot, I was struck by the beauty and promise of these clouds. I took this picture and began composing my poem on my iPhone as I walked. I finished it by the time I arrived home. Unfortunately, the scattered showers did not fall on me but I received a shower of perfectly placed words. Thanks again.
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Good to see you again. I am on here so rarely now a day
Comment from Rasmine
Hello, SisCat,
My favorite part of this was the last line:
Tongue awaits raindrop.
This brings back memories of holding my tongue out trying to catch raindrops or snowflakes. :P
Take care
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Hello, SisCat,
My favorite part of this was the last line:
Tongue awaits raindrop.
This brings back memories of holding my tongue out trying to catch raindrops or snowflakes. :P
Take care
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Yes, Rasmine, I used to hold out my tongue to catch raindrop or snowflakes. I still do. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Hansel1
A great comparison is made. Your concise diction allows for quick imagery against the limited syllable count - bravo. I felt an embarrassment, in conjunction with a longing for reprieve as the piece progressed. The photo sets the stage nicely for the readers' imagery, which morphs in mind's eye between the beginning and end of the work - Cheers!
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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A great comparison is made. Your concise diction allows for quick imagery against the limited syllable count - bravo. I felt an embarrassment, in conjunction with a longing for reprieve as the piece progressed. The photo sets the stage nicely for the readers' imagery, which morphs in mind's eye between the beginning and end of the work - Cheers!
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Yes, Hansel1, when I left my house one morning during a heatwave to walk my dog before it got too hot, I was struck by the beauty and promise of these clouds. I took this picture and began composing my poem on my iPhone as I walked. I finished it by the time I arrived home. Thank you for your review.
Comment from pome lover
sounds like you're searching for a theme OR maybe you have just reached a quiet place in your mind and are waiting for inspiration. Clouds invading heatwaves are a welcome reprieve, so new ideas are forming?
A you can see, I'm trying to understand your poem. Am I close? or totally off base.
pome lover
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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sounds like you're searching for a theme OR maybe you have just reached a quiet place in your mind and are waiting for inspiration. Clouds invading heatwaves are a welcome reprieve, so new ideas are forming?
A you can see, I'm trying to understand your poem. Am I close? or totally off base.
pome lover
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Yes, pome lover, when I left my house one morning during a heatwave to walk my dog before it got too hot, I was struck by the beauty and promise of these clouds. I took this picture and began composing my poem on my iPhone as I walked. I finished it by the time I arrived home. Unfortunately, the scattered showers did not fall on my section of the city. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi Andre; thank you so much for sharing this lovely 5-7-5 about heat, rain, and the pursuit of some sort of relief. Within the few lines of your poem, you've given us the perfect image of summer. Together with your presentation of this photo, the piece has a wonderful feel,
Well done and good luck in the contest,
~patty~
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Hi Andre; thank you so much for sharing this lovely 5-7-5 about heat, rain, and the pursuit of some sort of relief. Within the few lines of your poem, you've given us the perfect image of summer. Together with your presentation of this photo, the piece has a wonderful feel,
Well done and good luck in the contest,
~patty~
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Patty, for your review. When I left my house one morning during a heatwave to walk my dog before it got too hot, I was struck by the beauty and promise of these clouds. I took this picture and began composing my poem on my iPhone as I walked. I finished it by the time I arrived home. Unfortunately, the scattered showers did not fall on me. Thank you for your review and for wishing me well in the contest.
Comment from dragonpoet
Sometimes brains are like this. It seems that when you want to write that your dry brain is looking for the raindrop of the first word for your poem.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Sometimes brains are like this. It seems that when you want to write that your dry brain is looking for the raindrop of the first word for your poem.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Yes, dragonpoet, when I left my house one morning during a heatwave to walk my dog before it got too hot, I was struck by the beauty and promise of these clouds. I took this picture and began composing my poem on my iPhone as I walked. I finished it by the time I arrived home. Unfortunately, the scattered showers did not fall on me. Thank you for your review and for wishing me well in the contest.
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You're welcome. I have been inspired by clouds and have started writing on the spot too. Often on walks or a passenger in a car.
Joan
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Yes, DP, this was the first time I was struck by the sight of clouds so profound that I took a picture and started writing during my walk.
Comment from Rubylou
I enjoyed your 5-7-5.
I often times look up and watch the clouds morph their form as my thoughts change from idea to idea. I guess I am part dreamer, (LOL), as I wait to see what image will appear next much like the "tongue awaits raindrop."
Great imagery.
Rubylou
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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I enjoyed your 5-7-5.
I often times look up and watch the clouds morph their form as my thoughts change from idea to idea. I guess I am part dreamer, (LOL), as I wait to see what image will appear next much like the "tongue awaits raindrop."
Great imagery.
Rubylou
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Yes, Rubylou, when I left my house one morning during a heatwave to walk my dog before it got too hot, I was struck by the beauty and promise of these clouds. I took this picture and began composing my poem on my iPhone as I walked. I finished it by the time I arrived home. Unfortunately, the scattered showers did not fall on me. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Kazzawin
Very nice 5-7-5, interesting topic.
Waiting for some refreshing rain on a hot summers day.
Correct syllable count and pretty, calming artwork to accompany your poem.
Good luck in the contest : )
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Very nice 5-7-5, interesting topic.
Waiting for some refreshing rain on a hot summers day.
Correct syllable count and pretty, calming artwork to accompany your poem.
Good luck in the contest : )
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Yes, Kazzawin, when I left my house one morning during a heatwave to walk my dog before it got too hot, I was struck by the beauty and promise of these clouds. I took this picture and began composing my poem on my iPhone as I walked. I finished it by the time I arrived home. Unfortunately, the scattered showers did not fall on me. Thank you for your review and for wishing me well in the contest..
Comment from royowen
An extremely clever and intricate 5/7/5 poetic entry in this contest, the theme has got a marvellously ambiguous tint to it Andre, superb example, well done, Good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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An extremely clever and intricate 5/7/5 poetic entry in this contest, the theme has got a marvellously ambiguous tint to it Andre, superb example, well done, Good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Yes, Roy, when I left my house one morning during a heatwave to walk my dog before it got too hot, I was struck by the beauty and promise of these clouds. I took this picture and began composing my poem on my iPhone as I walked. I finished it by the time I arrived home. Unfortunately, the scattered showers did not fall on me. Thank you for your review and for wishing me well in the contest.
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Well done
