Travesty of Justice
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "The Warning"Two people accused of a crime they didn't commit.
7 total reviews
Comment from emptypage
Ahh... Mistydawn, I like this story, a lot, but I have two issues. The first isn't too important: you switch back and forth between POVs too fast. The second bothers me more: The women are so helpless! I hate that!
I like Rachel, don't like Julia. I hate her crybaby attitude, and that she lets the men be her comfort. I hope she asserts independence at some point and becomes a fierce woman who can fend for herself.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Ahh... Mistydawn, I like this story, a lot, but I have two issues. The first isn't too important: you switch back and forth between POVs too fast. The second bothers me more: The women are so helpless! I hate that!
I like Rachel, don't like Julia. I hate her crybaby attitude, and that she lets the men be her comfort. I hope she asserts independence at some point and becomes a fierce woman who can fend for herself.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Thank you for your review although it saddens me to know you think it only deserves a four.
I'm glad you like Rachel she is one of the first characters I've ever written. She is a strong, determined woman, A smart ass at times too, who will kick some butt when she has to, and she keeps the men in their place.
Let me give you a little back story on Julia maybe then you won't think she's so weak. In the beginning of the book, she plants a bomb in her husband's car so she can be free of his abuse. A bomb he managed to escape from. He comes after her the second time where he beat, raped her, left her for dead. With every ounce of strength, she has left she kills him. She then steals his mistress's Identity and flee's to Arkansas. She marries under a fictitious name and has kids. Things were going great until she was arrested for a murder she didn't commit. Now she has that murder and her husband's death hanging over her head. The SUV she just saw brings back bad memories from her past.
So now you're up to speed do you still think she's weak? Hopefully not as much? I'll look at the pov changing, see what I can do.
Thanks again for your review and your take on the story. Your opinion always means a lot to me. Take care.
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This is the same story as the car bomb?!?? I loved that! I'm really tired of men being the heroes and that's what I saw there, but I didn't see any resemblance to the car bomb woman.
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I'll re-read it tomorrow.
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The part I told you about the SUV that's in the next chapter, not this one. I've been woking on the new chapter all day and got them confused.
Larry is Julia's attorney who is being blackmailed into taking Vinnie's case.
Comment from Sandollar
Is this a thought? I don't know which method is better but I use italics for thought. It eliminates the need for action tags such as: He/She thought. If it's dialogue, it needs the quotation marks.
You and your family better get out of town, while you still can
Julia certainly is getting it from all sides. That bloody doll was a great touch of psycho-terror. Loved it. Looking for more.
Sandollar
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Is this a thought? I don't know which method is better but I use italics for thought. It eliminates the need for action tags such as: He/She thought. If it's dialogue, it needs the quotation marks.
You and your family better get out of town, while you still can
Julia certainly is getting it from all sides. That bloody doll was a great touch of psycho-terror. Loved it. Looking for more.
Sandollar
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
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Thank you so much for your review. I haven't been using Italics because I was afraid it'd be confusing with this pov. You don't think it would be?
If I were to use it would I do just the thoughts or the narrative and the thoughts? In the beginning of Rachel's part for example where her narrative is her thought.
Thank you again for your great review, take care.
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I think your way is correct and you are quite right. It would be confusing.
Comment from Ric Myworld
This chapter had my mind spinning. I mean, Larry's daughter is in danger, and then, Julia's (supposed daughter) is found dead on the porch by Larry. At first I thought it was a messed up point of view, but finally, I realized it was Julia's and not Larry's daughter. Of course, and now, Julia's family is being threatened, as is Larry's by someone else. Okay, I think I have it now. LOL!
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2017
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This chapter had my mind spinning. I mean, Larry's daughter is in danger, and then, Julia's (supposed daughter) is found dead on the porch by Larry. At first I thought it was a messed up point of view, but finally, I realized it was Julia's and not Larry's daughter. Of course, and now, Julia's family is being threatened, as is Larry's by someone else. Okay, I think I have it now. LOL!
Comment Written 24-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the great review. I'm sorry I confused you but I'm glad you figured it out. Is there something I could do to make it less confusing?
Thank s again for the great review, take care.
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No, don't change a thing. It wasn't your story that was messed up, it was your goofy reader. LOL!
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
"Since your prints are already in the system, I won't need yours, Vinnie, but I still need Larry's."
"Lucky me," Larry says.
"Let me get the kit out of the car," Jerry says.
"I need to take this," I say. Turning towards the street, I answer my phone.
"Sergeant Bower, he did, I'll let Julia know, thank you."
"Julia, Bill took the kids out of the city, late yesterday evening. He told his neighbors that he's selling the house, and moving to the East Coast."
"The East Coast, no, he can't do that to me, he just can't," she cries, falling into Larry's arms.
Wow, what a write, you really have a talent that drew me to read all of this lengthy work, keep at it you are excellent at what you do kindest regards Meia xx
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2017
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"Since your prints are already in the system, I won't need yours, Vinnie, but I still need Larry's."
"Lucky me," Larry says.
"Let me get the kit out of the car," Jerry says.
"I need to take this," I say. Turning towards the street, I answer my phone.
"Sergeant Bower, he did, I'll let Julia know, thank you."
"Julia, Bill took the kids out of the city, late yesterday evening. He told his neighbors that he's selling the house, and moving to the East Coast."
"The East Coast, no, he can't do that to me, he just can't," she cries, falling into Larry's arms.
Wow, what a write, you really have a talent that drew me to read all of this lengthy work, keep at it you are excellent at what you do kindest regards Meia xx
Comment Written 24-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2017
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Thank you so much for your review and your sweet encouraging words. It's reviews like yours that keeps me going when things get tough. Yesterday was one of those days. So thank you so much for your continuous support and your wonderful review, take care.
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I am so glad as you are a great writer and I know it can be hard xx Meia
Comment from c_lucas
Your dialogue is good and somewhat believable. My experience with the homeless is not the same as you character. I found them to be more closed mouth. This is very well written.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2017
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Your dialogue is good and somewhat believable. My experience with the homeless is not the same as you character. I found them to be more closed mouth. This is very well written.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2017
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Thank you for your kind review. You say they are more closed mouth, are they guarded leery of strangers? I'd appreciate any insight you could give me to help me improve the story.
Thanks again for your great review, take care.
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At the moment, I am having to deal with health problems. I have numerous health procedures facing me. Ask your questions one at a time and I will try to answer them.
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I am sorry to hear about your health issues and will keep you in my prayers.
I was asking for a little insight on their mannerism, but it can wait. You need to take care of yourself, right now.
Comment from apky
Slowly thing are unfolding for Julia, her innocence beoming more apparent.
The story itself is continuously well-paced, intricately woven and intriguing.
The more I read, the more I'm drawn into the story.
Well done, Misty.
Apky
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2017
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Slowly thing are unfolding for Julia, her innocence beoming more apparent.
The story itself is continuously well-paced, intricately woven and intriguing.
The more I read, the more I'm drawn into the story.
Well done, Misty.
Apky
Comment Written 24-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2017
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Thank you for your nice review. I am so glad you're enjoying my story, hopefully, I'll keep you intrigued so you'll stay with me to the end.
Take care.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Storyline possesses enough action to keep the tale moving along.
Several different directions you could travel this accounting in from this point forward.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2017
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Storyline possesses enough action to keep the tale moving along.
Several different directions you could travel this accounting in from this point forward.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2017
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Thank you for your great review. of all the possible options which one would you choose?
Thank you again for your wonderful review, take care
