To Further the Rights to My Heart
My thoughts on Jay.36 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, my friend,
The description says nonfiction so I assume it's your son who died. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how painful that must be. I have a son and two daughters and they are the most important people in my life.
The content is excellent. It reflects how you feel... that's good. It helps to express yourself.
The apostrophes should be, one at the beginning and one at the end of one person talking. You only have one at the beginning and in every line. It's very confusing. Who is talking? How many people?
Maybe it's your style but I recommend against it.
Other than the punctuation it's a fine writing. Good job, honey.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Hello, my friend,
The description says nonfiction so I assume it's your son who died. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how painful that must be. I have a son and two daughters and they are the most important people in my life.
The content is excellent. It reflects how you feel... that's good. It helps to express yourself.
The apostrophes should be, one at the beginning and one at the end of one person talking. You only have one at the beginning and in every line. It's very confusing. Who is talking? How many people?
Maybe it's your style but I recommend against it.
Other than the punctuation it's a fine writing. Good job, honey.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Thanks Gypsy..
As you dig into my Soul ...
You will find my bleeding Heart..
"And, as you feel my sorrowed Heart...
You will realize with each written word...
The Heart no longer beats for I died the day Jay did...
Thanks,
Ricky1024.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
I can't imagine the pain of losing your son. Organ donation is so greatly needed and part of him lives on because of it. I don't understand why some of the words are capitalized but assume you have a reason, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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I can't imagine the pain of losing your son. Organ donation is so greatly needed and part of him lives on because of it. I don't understand why some of the words are capitalized but assume you have a reason, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 19-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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You honor Jay and The Gift of Life with this fine review...
Thanks,
Ricky....
Comment from Octavia
Very tragic story and lesson to make sure one donate's one's organs to help the living here on earth.
"Please don't take your organs to Heaven....
"Because God here knows that...
"You need them here on Earth...
"And, to my Family and friends..
It was interesting to have one of the poets write from beyond the grave.
Maybe some of this could be put to music?
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Very tragic story and lesson to make sure one donate's one's organs to help the living here on earth.
"Please don't take your organs to Heaven....
"Because God here knows that...
"You need them here on Earth...
"And, to my Family and friends..
It was interesting to have one of the poets write from beyond the grave.
Maybe some of this could be put to music?
Comment Written 19-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Spoken word comes from many sources...
Mind, Heart, and Soul...
This comes from naught...
Just fate and tragedy...
Thanks,
Ricky1024
Comment from Sis Cat
I knew you had something important to say and am glad to re-review this amazing post. I love your collection of writings and thoughts about Jay's passing and how he was able to help others live through organ donations. This is the ultimate sacrifice, but it is also one that causes you much reflection and questioning:
"Now, can you reclaim what was drastically taken away?"
"Can you restart your broken Heart?"
"Once stopped and breathe a breath of fresh air...
"Once life hath passed?"
"Directly or indirectly once ye has part?"
Your spiritual non-fiction is more like a long poem which can be performed on stage at open mics. I think many of the questions you posed are universal ones people feel after the passing of a friend or loved one.
I found one SPAG: (then) his only wife,
Also, the quotation marks at the beginning of each sentence are unnecessary as they slow down my read.
Thank you for sharing your heartfelt thoughts on Jay.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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I knew you had something important to say and am glad to re-review this amazing post. I love your collection of writings and thoughts about Jay's passing and how he was able to help others live through organ donations. This is the ultimate sacrifice, but it is also one that causes you much reflection and questioning:
"Now, can you reclaim what was drastically taken away?"
"Can you restart your broken Heart?"
"Once stopped and breathe a breath of fresh air...
"Once life hath passed?"
"Directly or indirectly once ye has part?"
Your spiritual non-fiction is more like a long poem which can be performed on stage at open mics. I think many of the questions you posed are universal ones people feel after the passing of a friend or loved one.
I found one SPAG: (then) his only wife,
Also, the quotation marks at the beginning of each sentence are unnecessary as they slow down my read.
Thank you for sharing your heartfelt thoughts on Jay.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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Sorry a glitch..
Completed now...
Ricky1024
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Thanks for correcting it. I changed my review.
Comment from royowen
I'm not sure what this post, or the lack of information on it is about Ricky. But I know it really is a consuming tragedy in your life, and I'm sorry that the pain must be overwhelmingly horrid for you, and difficult to deal with. My sympathy, my friend, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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I'm not sure what this post, or the lack of information on it is about Ricky. But I know it really is a consuming tragedy in your life, and I'm sorry that the pain must be overwhelmingly horrid for you, and difficult to deal with. My sympathy, my friend, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 19-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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Thanks Roy and a glitch but completed now.
Ricky1024
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Ok Ricky
Comment from Teri7
Ricky, I was not quite sure what to make of the letters and no words, but I do love the picture of your precious son that has gone to be with the Lord. He was such a handsome young man. I am truly sorry for your loss my friend! Teri
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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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Ricky, I was not quite sure what to make of the letters and no words, but I do love the picture of your precious son that has gone to be with the Lord. He was such a handsome young man. I am truly sorry for your loss my friend! Teri
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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It is completed now and thanks.
Ricky...
