Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I have never tried the Nove Otto, but you certainly managed the form well. Your artwork selection reinforces the theme perfectly. I admired your rhymes and your taunts! Smiles- Joan

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 18-Jun-2017

Hi Joan;
thank you so much for reviewing my poem. I collected other poets' notes about the different poetic forms and tried several over the past few months. This form was especially difficult to work with, but I think the result came out okay.

~patty~

Comment from sunnilicious

Excellent

Sibling rivalry is the mark of jealousy. How to deal with evil feelings? Fight. Walk away. It's escalates if not dealt with... I know this first hand too. Parents sometimes have to take sides even when it's against their true beliefs. Sometime, it's fear making the choice rather than right or wrong. I hope it's not the case for all families. Well thought out and nicely written poem.

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017

thank you so much for this thoughtful review. I think family dynamics are interesting, and when put under a microscope, things are revealed and cracks are put on display. I married into a family that seemed like 'apple pie,' but what they were was closer to a 'goulash.' No one quite knew what was really in the pot.

~patty~

Comment from His Grayness

Exceptional

Perfectly done in unique poetic style and thanks for the education! I found the packaging of this to be very delightful and inviting to bring the reader into the story. Well done all around and thanks for a fine read and education! HIS GRAYNESS

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017

Hi Vance; thank you so much for the lovely review of this nove otto poem. The poetic form was a challenge to work with and the subject matter has been on my mind for the past few weeks. Family dynamics are fascinating, aren't they?

I greatly appreciate the shiny six stars,

~patty~

reply by His Grayness on 07-Jun-2017

My joy Patty...thanks so much! Vance

Comment from Marvin Calloway

Exceptional

I have five children so I can relate. My wife is one of nine.
Each line rings true as an element of family life. The rhymes are perfect. The flow, excellent.
Well done.
Marv

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017

Hi Marv; thank you for the lovely review. I appreciate your kind words of encouragement and praise for this poem.

~patty~

the shiny six stars made my morning

Comment from Ann Philips

Excellent

I am impressed you even attempted this competition. The rhyme scheme has my head spinning. I thought the poem was delightful... amusing... and, at moments...endearing.
As a mother, I loved your last line; but, I think my children would like it even more. I also loved these two lines: "rivalry rears its ugly head;
someone wishes the other dead". Poetry needs to appeal to the heart, or soul, or both. This appeal to the funny bone as well.
It's hard to actually dissect and review writing when something is likable and amusing. I think the second line works but I find it awkward sounding with five one syllable word which began it. Those words don't speak very strongly, followed by a 2 syllable word and another one syllable. "Burst" strikes me as the only "strong" word in that sentence.
I think lines 7 and 8 work and I like the parallels in construction... but then the final line sounds out of place.
Again, I really enjoyed the poem and think you deserve a medal for managing that rhyme scheme; let alone coming up with something that makes me smile at midnight.

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017

Hi Ann; thank you so much for the thoughtful and concise review. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem,
~patty~

Comment from ronnie k

Excellent

Line by line you follow the challenge I had to look past it, for lack of my knowledge and truthfully interest to enjoy a profound write, thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2017

Hi there; thank you so much for your thoughtful review,
~patty~

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

I really enjoyed this. I guess some families are like that. Hard not to be jealous, want you all to themselves, and so on. Still it's a good thing to have family. Great little poem with good rhyming. Clear and humorous. Marilyn

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017

Hi Marilyn; thank you so much for the positive review of this twisted piece. I just have families on my mind this week,
~patty~

Comment from Janet Foor

Excellent

An excellent Nove Otto poem patty. The mother in your poem could be my daughter-in-law. She rules with a silver glove that covers her iron fist. No one crosses her or she will withhold her love. A sad commentary on a mother. But it works if you want your children to behave.

Well done.
Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017

Hi Janet; thank you so much for reading and reviewing this poem of mine. It was an interesting write. Fitting the subject matter within the confines of the poetic form was a challenge, and I'm glad to see it so positively received,

~patty~

Comment from sharonlshelley

Excellent

Nice work well written and interesting to read I am quite new to this site so I am writing and reading as I am going enjoying peoples work I find all varieties of poetry interesting

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017

thank you so much for stopping by to read and review.
Welcome to FanStory - I think you will find a myriad of things to read.

~patty~

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This Nove Otto, Family, does all the things required of the format and proves that mothers can be your best friend when dealing with sibling rivalry and big brother bullying.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017

Hi Bill; thank you so much for reading this poem. The poetic form was fun to play with and I enjoyed the challenge.

~patty~