Tree Climber
Iambic pentameter blank verse.70 total reviews
Comment from KL Williams
Such lovely imagery in this poem. I could picture myself there amongst the trees, hearing the birds and smelling the blooms. I also loved to climb trees as a child. Your poem is well written, it has nice rhythm and was easy to read. Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Such lovely imagery in this poem. I could picture myself there amongst the trees, hearing the birds and smelling the blooms. I also loved to climb trees as a child. Your poem is well written, it has nice rhythm and was easy to read. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Yes, KL, I look at the picture of myself as a kid and think I would never today stand on a branch and bend myself upside down. Thank you for your review of the lovely imagery and rhythm of my poem.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
One never knows as a young child where adulthood will find them. I know I can't. Once again your post does you proud. I enjoyed reading and your talent shines through.
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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One never knows as a young child where adulthood will find them. I know I can't. Once again your post does you proud. I enjoyed reading and your talent shines through.
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Yes, Barbara, one never knows as a young child where adulthood will find them. I am quite proud of my poem. Thank you for your review and compliments.
Comment from c_lucas
One does not know one's strength until they test it. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very beautiful read. There is good imagery.
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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One does not know one's strength until they test it. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very beautiful read. There is good imagery.
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Oh, thank you, c_lucas, for your review and for complimenting my poem's imagery and smoothness. I appreciate it.
Comment from Mark Valentine
I love this one for so many reasons. First, many of us of a certain age have childhood memories that are in black and white (literally and metaphorically) so it speaks to that. You capture the way that childhood fantasy can be an escape from a "topsy-turvy world" - how imagination can not only help you escape the reality of the moment, but envision a brighter future.
I'm guessing it's not a coincidence that the middle stanza, the one in-between the childhood fantasy and the imagining a brighter future, is the one that describes the stark, ugly experiences from your childhood - it creates a great arc to this poem.
You also capture the sense that we have as adults when we remember the children we used to be - it seems like another world.
The language and imagery you use is wonderful - I especially liked the image of your legs being grafts of the tree. One of the best I've read on this site in a long time.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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I love this one for so many reasons. First, many of us of a certain age have childhood memories that are in black and white (literally and metaphorically) so it speaks to that. You capture the way that childhood fantasy can be an escape from a "topsy-turvy world" - how imagination can not only help you escape the reality of the moment, but envision a brighter future.
I'm guessing it's not a coincidence that the middle stanza, the one in-between the childhood fantasy and the imagining a brighter future, is the one that describes the stark, ugly experiences from your childhood - it creates a great arc to this poem.
You also capture the sense that we have as adults when we remember the children we used to be - it seems like another world.
The language and imagery you use is wonderful - I especially liked the image of your legs being grafts of the tree. One of the best I've read on this site in a long time.
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Yes, yes, yes, Mark! That middle stanza about the starkness my family experienced brightens the rest of my poem by serving as contrast. I am glad you enjoyed the language and imagery, especially that "graft" line.
I still find it hard to believe that kid was me. I am sure he would find it hard to believe that he would become me.
Thank you for your generous, six star review.
Comment from nancyrabbrose
Wow! You have outdone yourself this time. This poem grips my heart and mind. The subtle and artistic manner in which you evoke memories and hope with your words are superior. I hope you realize what a great poet you are. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem.
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Wow! You have outdone yourself this time. This poem grips my heart and mind. The subtle and artistic manner in which you evoke memories and hope with your words are superior. I hope you realize what a great poet you are. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem.
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Oh, thank you, Nancy, for your generous, six star review and compliments of my poetry. Yes, iambic pentameter blank verse is the most challenging poetic form I have achieved so far. More poems and different forms are coming. Thanks again.
Comment from Chrissy710
Hi Sis Cat, I am glad I stopped by to read your poem. It had a nice flow to it and told a story of the boy in the tree who has also climbed far in life but some how that boy is still there and he always will be. i liked you free style and althouh had no rhyme to iambic pentameter was tight and made this easy and enjoyable. Cheers Christine
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Hi Sis Cat, I am glad I stopped by to read your poem. It had a nice flow to it and told a story of the boy in the tree who has also climbed far in life but some how that boy is still there and he always will be. i liked you free style and althouh had no rhyme to iambic pentameter was tight and made this easy and enjoyable. Cheers Christine
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Chrissy, for your review of my first iambic pentameter blank verse. I am glad you enjoyed its flow and the story it told.
Comment from dragonpoet
This shows how some like to experience life and some like to record it. It also tells us how many memories can be triggered by one picture and how many things one tree to mean to different people.
I think you should use leave instead of petals since you are talking about a tree and not flowers.
Keep writing
dragon
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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This shows how some like to experience life and some like to record it. It also tells us how many memories can be triggered by one picture and how many things one tree to mean to different people.
I think you should use leave instead of petals since you are talking about a tree and not flowers.
Keep writing
dragon
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Dragon, for your review. Yes, one picture can trigger many memories.
The tree in question is a plum tree in full bloom. There are no leaves on it at that point. Only blossoms.
I'll keep writing.
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You're welcome.
dragon
Comment from MaggieF
Great black and white picture. Childhood good and bad. If we could go back would we change it, would that then alter the person we became? Better for the 'child' to see into the future and see the wonderful person he/she became. Great imagery in your poem 'when arsons burned
our porch and fear enveloped me like fire.' could feel your fear. MaggieF
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Great black and white picture. Childhood good and bad. If we could go back would we change it, would that then alter the person we became? Better for the 'child' to see into the future and see the wonderful person he/she became. Great imagery in your poem 'when arsons burned
our porch and fear enveloped me like fire.' could feel your fear. MaggieF
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Oh, thank you, Maggie, for your review. I had a lot of fun writing this and learned much about blank free verse. Thank you for pointing out the great imagery in that line, too.
Comment from oliver818
I enjoyed your poem, it has wonder imagery, and powerfully evokes childhood memories. Thanks for sharing this enjoyable read and have yourself a really great day
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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I enjoyed your poem, it has wonder imagery, and powerfully evokes childhood memories. Thanks for sharing this enjoyable read and have yourself a really great day
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Thank you, Oliver, for your review. I am glad my imagery evoked childhood.
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
A wonderful piece filled with the symbolism of the tree and the climb of life. Shining through the lovely imagery is your pride in accomplishment, not without danger, and your love of the woman who chronicled it and cheered you on. I was taken back to the old plum tree in our front yard and the glory of climbing through the blossoms. Thank you for that journey and for sharing a part of yours. I do need to note a couple of bumps in the rhythm. Too many syllables and backwards accent which can be fixed by simply rearranging your words:
as he achieves balance 'mid blooming buds,( 'mid blooming buds his balance is achieved)
Imagine blooms' forecast of summer plums. (Imagine summer blooms, forecasting plums)
Imagine birds chirping atop this tree. (Imagine chirping birds atop this tree)
I enjoyed your poem and I hope you don't mind my being a bit of a buttinsky on the scansion. I wouldn't have if I didn't really love the work. - Wendy
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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A wonderful piece filled with the symbolism of the tree and the climb of life. Shining through the lovely imagery is your pride in accomplishment, not without danger, and your love of the woman who chronicled it and cheered you on. I was taken back to the old plum tree in our front yard and the glory of climbing through the blossoms. Thank you for that journey and for sharing a part of yours. I do need to note a couple of bumps in the rhythm. Too many syllables and backwards accent which can be fixed by simply rearranging your words:
as he achieves balance 'mid blooming buds,( 'mid blooming buds his balance is achieved)
Imagine blooms' forecast of summer plums. (Imagine summer blooms, forecasting plums)
Imagine birds chirping atop this tree. (Imagine chirping birds atop this tree)
I enjoyed your poem and I hope you don't mind my being a bit of a buttinsky on the scansion. I wouldn't have if I didn't really love the work. - Wendy
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Thank you, Wendy, for your generous review and feedback. Yes, the picture made me recall climbing the plum tree in full bloom. I am glad you had a similar experience.
Your feedback is sound. I accepted "Imagine chirping birds atop this tree." Since there are no blossoms on the plum tree in summer, I accepted your suggestion with a tweak, "Imagine blooms forecasting summer plums." No comma. And in the line reviewers critiqued the most I tweaked the entire stanza to make the new line work:
When I reflect upon myself, the boy
in processed silver nitrate, black-and-white
achieves his balance 'mid the blooming buds.
Forgotten memories invade my mind.
I am glad you are a buttinsky on scansion, because I used the consensus of several people, including you, to improve my poem.
Thanks again for the review and the feedback.
