Tree Climber
Iambic pentameter blank verse.70 total reviews
Comment from Sanku
Climbing the tree during the boyhood, mother capturing the moment
this metaphorically says the clim you have done in your life.
Very well written poem 'our porch and fear enveloped like fire' it is a powerful line.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Climbing the tree during the boyhood, mother capturing the moment
this metaphorically says the clim you have done in your life.
Very well written poem 'our porch and fear enveloped like fire' it is a powerful line.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Sanku, for your review of my poem and for pointing out the line you found powerful.
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
How wonderful that your Mother had the insight to capture these Kodak moments, moments to be revered and cherished in future times.
A childhood captured within wonderful words and phrases...a beautiful write Andre.
Have a great day
Mitchell
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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How wonderful that your Mother had the insight to capture these Kodak moments, moments to be revered and cherished in future times.
A childhood captured within wonderful words and phrases...a beautiful write Andre.
Have a great day
Mitchell
Comment Written 01-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Yes, Mitchell, I was stunned when I came across this picture in an old family photo album. One, because it showed me and my brother climbing our plum tree in full bloom, and, two, because of my balancing act in which I bent my body over backwards on a tree branch until my head was upside down. The picture haunted me, flooding me with memories, inspiring my poem.
Thank you for your review.
Comment from Margaret Ford
Hi, Andre. I love this poem. I'm still typing with one hand (broken wrist), so I'll keep it brief. Like your other poems and prose, this is beautiful, honest, perfect work--and that's a 'six' for sure. Margaret
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Hi, Andre. I love this poem. I'm still typing with one hand (broken wrist), so I'll keep it brief. Like your other poems and prose, this is beautiful, honest, perfect work--and that's a 'six' for sure. Margaret
Comment Written 01-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Margaret, for your generous, one-hand-typed six star review. I wish you a speedy recovery.
Comment from Thal1959
Excellent blank verse - and I believe the first blank verse I have read on FS, Andre. The verses are elegant, but never confusing. I had to "print screen" and blow-up the image a bit because I couldn't visualize your head upside down like that. Thinking it was normal made it look like a Halloween mask or an alien.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Excellent blank verse - and I believe the first blank verse I have read on FS, Andre. The verses are elegant, but never confusing. I had to "print screen" and blow-up the image a bit because I couldn't visualize your head upside down like that. Thinking it was normal made it look like a Halloween mask or an alien.
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Thal1959, for your generous, six star review. You are right. I seldom read blank verse on FS. I think it is because it is one of the hardest poetic forms to pull off. It is neither free verse nor rhymed, but this metered hybrid which at one point was the most popular poetic form in England. Even Shakespeare used it in his plays. I am glad you found my example excellent.
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You're welcome, Andre. It is always a pleasure to recognize and reward excellent work.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Andre. I sure wish I had a six left for this gem. I absolutely love every bit of it. especially these positive lines:
"Imagine blooms forecasting summer plums.
Imagine chirping birds atop this tree.
Imagine sun and wind caressed your face.
Imagine balance beams and winning gold."
Bless you. Bob
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Hi, Andre. I sure wish I had a six left for this gem. I absolutely love every bit of it. especially these positive lines:
"Imagine blooms forecasting summer plums.
Imagine chirping birds atop this tree.
Imagine sun and wind caressed your face.
Imagine balance beams and winning gold."
Bless you. Bob
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Oh, thank you, Bob, for your virtual six star review. I am glad my words touched you.
Comment from lyenochka
Beautifully told, Andre! I love the biographical sketch in verse and the tangible descriptions of vivid memories of climbing the trees and remembering the hard things now looking back as an adult and seeing both the child's perspective and understanding how much your mother went through keeping those Kodak memories even when she had so much on her shoulders.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Beautifully told, Andre! I love the biographical sketch in verse and the tangible descriptions of vivid memories of climbing the trees and remembering the hard things now looking back as an adult and seeing both the child's perspective and understanding how much your mother went through keeping those Kodak memories even when she had so much on her shoulders.
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Yes, lyenochka, my mother was amazing. Not only did she keep our family together during trying these trying sounds, but she preserved Kodak moments. She was always taking pictures of her children. When I found this picture in a family photo album, I was stunned. "That's me and my brother climbing our plum tree in full bloom." The picture haunted me for days, prompting me to write this poem. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Oatmeal
SIS,
The arrangement is understandable and effective. Created impressions through the descriptions are vivid, forceful and making the reader think about it. Chosen explanations are made very clear and descriptive. Intellectually arranged.
It is perfectly written and completely error free.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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SIS,
The arrangement is understandable and effective. Created impressions through the descriptions are vivid, forceful and making the reader think about it. Chosen explanations are made very clear and descriptive. Intellectually arranged.
It is perfectly written and completely error free.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Oatmeal, for your review. I am glad you found my poem's arrangement understandable and effective. I look forward to seeing you again.
Comment from LanceHill
This is a great piece. I have been off FanStory for awhile and this is the first piece I remember seeing of yours. The rhyme and flow were great. I really enjoyed this work. Thanks for sharing. God bless.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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This is a great piece. I have been off FanStory for awhile and this is the first piece I remember seeing of yours. The rhyme and flow were great. I really enjoyed this work. Thanks for sharing. God bless.
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, LanceHill, for your first review of my work and welcome back to FS.. My poem is unrhymed but it contains rhythm and flow. Thanks again for your review.
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Andre,
what a wonderfully crafted blank verse. To first totally grasp the visual of your mother's photography followed up with the magic of this/your story... well, I just found it a true pleasure to read. You took me on a journey with this poem and left me reflecting... hanging in thought with your last two lines...
How often he appears apart from me
Could he imagine I would climb this far.
Outstanding!
With our thoughts we create,
reflected actions. James.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Hi Andre,
what a wonderfully crafted blank verse. To first totally grasp the visual of your mother's photography followed up with the magic of this/your story... well, I just found it a true pleasure to read. You took me on a journey with this poem and left me reflecting... hanging in thought with your last two lines...
How often he appears apart from me
Could he imagine I would climb this far.
Outstanding!
With our thoughts we create,
reflected actions. James.
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, James, for your generous six star review of my first blank verse. I was stunned when I rediscovered my mother's picture in an old family photo album because it depicted my brother and me climbing our plum tree in full view. The image of me balancing in a tree and tipping my head upside down haunted me. I wrote this poem in response. Thanks again.
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Loved the photo... knew that was you... loved the poem... and if this is your first blank verse... can't wait to read your next attempt.
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Yes, Jumbo J, this is my first blank verse. Now that I have gotten hooked on it, I find it challenging to read unmetered poems because I rearrange the words in my head to put them in meter.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
....I perform for mother's Kodak lens..... I love this line. I did the same. :)
Excellent blank verse. Your storytelling skills shunned through. You put the reader inside your black and white picture. Great use of imagery....
.....I invert a topsy-turvy world....
Some memories were bad....
...Recall the Halloween when arsons burned
our porch and fear enveloped me like fire....
Perhaps imagining was better?
I love this stanza.....
...Forever free, forever young, the boy
within a black-and-white memento plays.
How often he appears apart from me.
Could he imagine I would climb this far?....
Well done my friend, your mom would be very proud.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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....I perform for mother's Kodak lens..... I love this line. I did the same. :)
Excellent blank verse. Your storytelling skills shunned through. You put the reader inside your black and white picture. Great use of imagery....
.....I invert a topsy-turvy world....
Some memories were bad....
...Recall the Halloween when arsons burned
our porch and fear enveloped me like fire....
Perhaps imagining was better?
I love this stanza.....
...Forever free, forever young, the boy
within a black-and-white memento plays.
How often he appears apart from me.
Could he imagine I would climb this far?....
Well done my friend, your mom would be very proud.
Gypsy
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Yes, Gypsy, my mother would have been thrilled by my poem! It took me five days to write it. I studied the blank verse of Shakespeare, Robert Frost's "Birches," and Wallace Stevens' "The Idea of Order at Key West." In addition, I used a website called How Many Syllable which showed me where the stresses were in words so I can craft this iambic pentameter.
I wanted an ending that would match if not surpass Frost's "Birches": "One could worse than be a swinger of birches."
Thank you for your generous, six star review, compliments, and support.
