Unleashed Chaos
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Flashbacks"A Novel of the Breedline Series
7 total reviews
Comment from Natali Holden
From reading the prologue I liked Lisa and I'm glad to be getting more info on her past. "The first thing Celina saw when she came awake was a blurry image of someone sitting in a chair beside her." This sentence is fine, but I would do awoke instead of came awake. "She must have been in a back brace because she felt confined like being stuffed into a turtle's shell." That is an awesome simile! Great chapter!
Natali ;)
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2017
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From reading the prologue I liked Lisa and I'm glad to be getting more info on her past. "The first thing Celina saw when she came awake was a blurry image of someone sitting in a chair beside her." This sentence is fine, but I would do awoke instead of came awake. "She must have been in a back brace because she felt confined like being stuffed into a turtle's shell." That is an awesome simile! Great chapter!
Natali ;)
Comment Written 25-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2017
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Awesome! Yhank you, Natali :)
Oh, and thanks for the advice. Love it when I have a second pair of eyes. I know miss stuff even after I read it over and over. You're very helpful. This is why I love FanStory.
Thanks again my friend,
Shana :)
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You're welcome. That happens with me too. I'll read my story and see no mistakes. And then someone else reads it and points stuff out so I can make it better.
Comment from JDRBAR
Excellently written and a very enjoyable read. I've only read a couple of chapters but I think I'd like to go back and read some earlier ones. This chapter certainly leaves me wanting to read more.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2017
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Excellently written and a very enjoyable read. I've only read a couple of chapters but I think I'd like to go back and read some earlier ones. This chapter certainly leaves me wanting to read more.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2017
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Thank you! I am excited to hear you enjoyed this chapter. Hearing your inspiring review encourages me. Hope to hear from you again. Thanks again, Shana
Comment from ngage
Wow, Shana! This chapter shined. Your writing has continued to captivate my attention. Im addicted to the storyline as well as the characters. Now, you have me curious about this new character, Kenneth! Why did he react to Tessa when he saw her? And she looks like his old flame? Interesting... cant wait to find out what happens next!
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2017
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Wow, Shana! This chapter shined. Your writing has continued to captivate my attention. Im addicted to the storyline as well as the characters. Now, you have me curious about this new character, Kenneth! Why did he react to Tessa when he saw her? And she looks like his old flame? Interesting... cant wait to find out what happens next!
Comment Written 02-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2017
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Thank you ngage! :)
You're always an inspiration to me. Love your reviews, my friend. Stay tuned and find out all about Kenneth.
Thanks again,
Shana :)
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks of flashbacks, Celina gets back consciousness, again under treatment, but she speaks of and tries to, everyone wants to know the truth, she is unable to continue; I liked.
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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This speaks of flashbacks, Celina gets back consciousness, again under treatment, but she speaks of and tries to, everyone wants to know the truth, she is unable to continue; I liked.
Comment Written 31-May-2017
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Thank you! :)
Glad you dropped in to read a chapter and enjoyed. This is the reason why I love to write. Entertaining readers means a lot to me.
Thanks again,
Shana :)
Comment from apky
Your incredible story is pulling me in to like this genre more and more.
You write with amazing conviction and have created a plausible world with characters we all can identify with.
I hope Dr Craven will be just fine and I'll be following to see if he finally finds his Lisa - I'm an incorrigible romantic at heart.
"You're[do you really want to say you're instead of "your"?] surgery went fine." He gently squeezed her hand. "I'll go get the doctor and tell him you're awake."
Best,
Apky
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Your incredible story is pulling me in to like this genre more and more.
You write with amazing conviction and have created a plausible world with characters we all can identify with.
I hope Dr Craven will be just fine and I'll be following to see if he finally finds his Lisa - I'm an incorrigible romantic at heart.
"You're[do you really want to say you're instead of "your"?] surgery went fine." He gently squeezed her hand. "I'll go get the doctor and tell him you're awake."
Best,
Apky
Comment Written 30-May-2017
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Thank you! :)
Your awesome review really gave me the inspiration I need today. I'm sorry I've fallen behind on reading your posts. I will catch up. Been busy with writing and work.
I'm glad you are starting to come over to the fantasy side. :) That's good to hear.
BTW, thanks for catching my typo. I need an extra eye. I appreciate you!
Shana :)
Comment from royowen
Obviously Kenneth Craven has been confronted by Sebastion and beloved Lisa's twin, Shana? And a severe headache from the encounter has hm in a quandary. Connection? The news for Celina is good and bad, the operation was a success, but walking again..maybe. The couple confronting Craven, are looking for Celina...Why? Brilliant twist in the story Shana, most enjoyable. Well done, dear friend, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Obviously Kenneth Craven has been confronted by Sebastion and beloved Lisa's twin, Shana? And a severe headache from the encounter has hm in a quandary. Connection? The news for Celina is good and bad, the operation was a success, but walking again..maybe. The couple confronting Craven, are looking for Celina...Why? Brilliant twist in the story Shana, most enjoyable. Well done, dear friend, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 30-May-2017
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Thank you, my friend! :)
Yes... we have a new character, Dr. Kenneth Craven. He is a physician to everyone in the beginning, but stay tuned. He'll be a main character added into my Breedline adventures. And it has something to do with Tessa.
Poor Celina. After her surgery, she's still not sure if she will ever walk again. Hopefully something will happen later in the story.
Roy, you're such a joy to hear from and I always admire what you say. Your words mean a lot to me.
Always your fan,
Shana :)
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As are you Shana, well done, good writing my friend, blessings, Roy
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
'Helen's question didn't register. Even though Kenneth's headache backed off completely, his mind was miles away, still thinking of the young woman that looked just like his Lisa. He couldn't forget her. His life would be easier if he could. If only he'd been able to move on, work out his issues, try to meet someone else and maybe fall in love again. Enjoy life and living. But he couldn't forget Lisa or move on without her even after all these years.' This part touched my heart. You write very well and I have read quite a bit of your work, you are great at conveying emotion, well done kindest regards Meia x
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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'Helen's question didn't register. Even though Kenneth's headache backed off completely, his mind was miles away, still thinking of the young woman that looked just like his Lisa. He couldn't forget her. His life would be easier if he could. If only he'd been able to move on, work out his issues, try to meet someone else and maybe fall in love again. Enjoy life and living. But he couldn't forget Lisa or move on without her even after all these years.' This part touched my heart. You write very well and I have read quite a bit of your work, you are great at conveying emotion, well done kindest regards Meia x
Comment Written 30-May-2017
reply by the author on 31-May-2017
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Thank you, Meia :)
Good to hear from you again. Missed your reviews. I'm so glad you liked the memory of Kenneth's beloved. He will be an important character as the story moves on. Thanks again for all the compliments. You inspire me to keep writing.
Shana :)
