Picture This
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "If I Could Turn Back Time"poems from Picture This Challenge
56 total reviews
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
Great rhyme and flow to the piece Sandra. The movement from quatrain to quatrain is excellent in building the message. I enjoyed the enjambment and say a huge thank you for not starting each line with a capital letter regardless. It stops me in my tracks every time. Glad to read this catch-up piece. - Wendy
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
  |
Great rhyme and flow to the piece Sandra. The movement from quatrain to quatrain is excellent in building the message. I enjoyed the enjambment and say a huge thank you for not starting each line with a capital letter regardless. It stops me in my tracks every time. Glad to read this catch-up piece. - Wendy
Comment Written 27-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
-
Thank you, Wendy. I'm really pleased you liked it, I was late writing it for the Picture This challenge, but got there in the end, still have more to catch up on! Thanks again, my friend. :) sandra xxx
Comment from Ogden
Sandra, I love your poem! Except for the first couplet. In my opinion, those opening lines need to be reworked to match the quality of the rest. (I almost chose to bail out there, and I'm glad I didn't.) I have no reservations about anything else.
Don
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
|
Sandra, I love your poem! Except for the first couplet. In my opinion, those opening lines need to be reworked to match the quality of the rest. (I almost chose to bail out there, and I'm glad I didn't.) I have no reservations about anything else.
Don
Comment Written 27-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
-
Thank you, Don, for this lovely, honest review. I will have a look at those two lines and see what I can do to change them. Thank you for giving me your input, I appreciate that. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Treischel
A truly wonderful Poem of reflection and evaluation.
I read it with a knowing smile that meant that I know exactly what you mean. Said smoothly on excellent iambic heptameter. I loved the imagery you bequeathed to time. Nicely done!
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
|
A truly wonderful Poem of reflection and evaluation.
I read it with a knowing smile that meant that I know exactly what you mean. Said smoothly on excellent iambic heptameter. I loved the imagery you bequeathed to time. Nicely done!
Comment Written 26-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
-
Thank you, Tom, what a nice review. Many have related with this one, it's surprising how many of would change at least one thing in their lives. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it and it made you smile. :) Sandra xx
Comment from l.raven
HI Sandra, I think I would change one this in my past from years ago...otherwise...I would keep it the same...it's what made me who I am today...sigh...I love your poem sweet angel...and a perfect challenge picture...very well written you...love ya you...Linda xxoo
how are you doing sweet girl????...things on this end are about the same...just working on my home...thinking of you and Ian and Sarah...always a special prayer...say hi to Ian for me...love to you all...xxoo love
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
|
HI Sandra, I think I would change one this in my past from years ago...otherwise...I would keep it the same...it's what made me who I am today...sigh...I love your poem sweet angel...and a perfect challenge picture...very well written you...love ya you...Linda xxoo
how are you doing sweet girl????...things on this end are about the same...just working on my home...thinking of you and Ian and Sarah...always a special prayer...say hi to Ian for me...love to you all...xxoo love
Comment Written 26-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
-
Hi Linda. I haven't seen your writing for a while, have I missed any? I shouldn't have.
It's funny but, I've had many reviewers say the same thing, that their past made them what they are today. Others have wanted to change small things. I just want to go back and have my parents back for a while so I can tell them everything I should have, how much I loved them. I think that's what brought this poem out, I've been thinking about them so much lately. At least I've learnt to tell my sons and my brother how much I love them every time I speak to them. Time is unforgiving, once it's passed it's passed. No going back. Thanks for the lovely review, my dear friend, I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. Biggest hugs, and so much love coming your way as always. :) Sandra xxxxxx
No change here, either. Steve is taking Sarah away for the weekend, a nice little break to pamper her. She had radiotherapy at the beginning of the week so she can relax and hopefully enjoy it. Ian is the same as always. He is looking forward to going on holiday in June, although they have had to make changes to their original booking because he needs wheelchair facilities now. But although he has his down days, he is having a many more up days now. His grandchildren love him to bits and make him laugh. That, I think, is the best tonic he can have.
I'm sure working on your home is just as therapeutic. Doing something positive is another good tonic to well-being. I think of you often, my friend. The summer is on it's way, plenty of sunshine, I hope. Take care, love you lots, and sending lots of hugs too. :) Sandra xxxxx
-
Hey you, sweet angel.. I am so glad Steve and Sarah are going to get away...sometimes just a short time away helps...Ian sounds better....even though I wish he didn't need a wheelchair...and I know his grandkids will keep a smile on his face...I know mine do...and I know you keep him smiling as well...no I haven't posted lately...but have been so busy with the house...when I get back in it...I will start writing again...I will be in a better frame of mine...LOL...I have a friend going to paint the ceilings for me....and that will help...otherwise all is well...enjoy the beautiful weather...and sending lots of love to you as well...take care...and will see you soon...biggerest hugs...smiling back at ya...love all around...and hi to Ian for me...Linda xxoo
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A lovely poem, Sandra.
-There are so many feelings
about time that many share:
" Sometimes I get so cross with time, it never takes a breath"
-The older we get, the faster it goes, it seems.
-Even though there are thoughts of "if I had done
this or that," I think your conclusion has a lot
to say, especially about enjoying life.
-Thanks for sharing this.
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
 |
-A lovely poem, Sandra.
-There are so many feelings
about time that many share:
" Sometimes I get so cross with time, it never takes a breath"
-The older we get, the faster it goes, it seems.
-Even though there are thoughts of "if I had done
this or that," I think your conclusion has a lot
to say, especially about enjoying life.
-Thanks for sharing this.
Comment Written 26-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
-
I am finding my birthdays are coming around much faster than when I was younger and wanted them to! LOL Now, I'd like the years to go at a snails pace, Slow. We are never satisfied, are we? I have a lot to be thankful for, but there are some things I'd like to be able to do, go back in time and see my parents so I can give them another hug and just sit and talk for a while. But, time just passes, and so do we. If only I had Veronica's gift!!
Thank you so much for giving me another of your precious 6s, Pam, I was amazed to see you had given me one for my poem. You are one of the kindest ladies I know. I wish we lived closer, I think I've said that to you before, but I really do. Good friends are hard to find these days. Big hugs my dear friend. :) Sandra xx
-
You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Sandra. It would be nice to live closer and have tea. I think as each month ends, I always say, "Where did that go?" When young, we always wanted it to hurry up. Have a great day.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Sandra,
Here you go, playing around with time again.
"Sometimes I get so cross with time, it never takes a breath" lol
Somehow, I don't think it's time, but ourselves that never takes a breath.
But I love your poem, with those septa-metered fourteen syllables lines
why, I can hardly catch my breath.
This time I think you put a nice rhyme to that time
Excellent poem for the challenge, better late than never, as Time would say.
Loved it
RS
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
|
Hello Sandra,
Here you go, playing around with time again.
"Sometimes I get so cross with time, it never takes a breath" lol
Somehow, I don't think it's time, but ourselves that never takes a breath.
But I love your poem, with those septa-metered fourteen syllables lines
why, I can hardly catch my breath.
This time I think you put a nice rhyme to that time
Excellent poem for the challenge, better late than never, as Time would say.
Loved it
RS
Comment Written 26-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
-
LOL, Robert! If I tell you a secret, don't tell anyone else, promise? Well, I am really a time lord, but can't come out and say it. The governments might want to use me as a weapon or a spy. LOL.
Thank you so much, my friend, for another lovely review, and for giving me all those stars again! You spoil me! Biggest hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from jmdg1954
Sandra. So well said, especially...
The love I've shared, with nothing spared, was worth the time apart,
for what I had with them will always live within my heart.
We all can tweak a few words here and there and make that phrase fit our lives.
So nicely penned. John
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
|
Sandra. So well said, especially...
The love I've shared, with nothing spared, was worth the time apart,
for what I had with them will always live within my heart.
We all can tweak a few words here and there and make that phrase fit our lives.
So nicely penned. John
Comment Written 26-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
-
Thank you so much, John, for your wonderful thoughts on my poem. I'm delighted you enjoyed it. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from Bucketlist
Sandra, I enjoyed reading your well expressed poem. It's tough because it's always easier to see what's gone, than to see clear ahead. I liked the last stanza the best. It reminded me of my own uncomplicated early days,. Thanks for the memories and your poetic talent
Trisha
reply by the author on 26-May-2017
|
Sandra, I enjoyed reading your well expressed poem. It's tough because it's always easier to see what's gone, than to see clear ahead. I liked the last stanza the best. It reminded me of my own uncomplicated early days,. Thanks for the memories and your poetic talent
Trisha
Comment Written 26-May-2017
reply by the author on 26-May-2017
-
Thank you so much, Trisha, for your lovely thoughts on my poem. I'm really pleased you enjoyed it, and I'm glad the last stanza resonated with you too. Big hugs. Sandra xx
-
Always a pleasure
Hugs, Trisha
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a clever write, but you know what? I think would would do exactly the same over again!, but there would a be a little tweeking along the way! As long as there has been enjoyment! A joy to read, Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 26-May-2017
|
This is a clever write, but you know what? I think would would do exactly the same over again!, but there would a be a little tweeking along the way! As long as there has been enjoyment! A joy to read, Love Dolly x
Comment Written 26-May-2017
reply by the author on 26-May-2017
-
Love the tweeking! I would too, a nip here and a tuck there, lol. Thank you so much for your lovely review, Dolly. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Big hugs, Sandra. xx
Comment from rama devi
Hi dear Sandra,
This is an excellent reflective poem, with fine rhymes and good flow, though the punctuation choices are not ideal, especially in line two having a period mid-sentence. Otherwise, no nits. I like the conversational tone and the inclusive 'we' in the first stanza. Also love the closing note of gratitude for shared love.
Suggested edits:
If we could turn back time again and have a second go--
but taking with us things we did and all we came to know.(,)
I wonder what we'd change about the lives we live today,(;)
would we still walk the route we took, or go a different way?
The meter is okay here but there is a slight unnatural accent on the word someone:
How many times I wished I'd told someone how much I cared;
*
But time rushed by and(,) too late now(,) those feelings can't be shared.
Sometimes I get so cross with time, it never takes a breath,(;)
it marches on relentlessly, from birth until our death.
We can't go back, it is a fact, we cannot change the past,(.)
t(T)here's nothing else quite like it; time's a factor made to last.
But(,) if I could, I know I would,(no ,) repeat some things I've done,(--)
enjoy the life I lived with both my parents and my sons.
The love I've shared(,) with nothing spared, was worth the time apart,
for what I had with them will always live within my heart.
Sweet poem. Tender. Deep. Inspired.
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 26-May-2017
|
Hi dear Sandra,
This is an excellent reflective poem, with fine rhymes and good flow, though the punctuation choices are not ideal, especially in line two having a period mid-sentence. Otherwise, no nits. I like the conversational tone and the inclusive 'we' in the first stanza. Also love the closing note of gratitude for shared love.
Suggested edits:
If we could turn back time again and have a second go--
but taking with us things we did and all we came to know.(,)
I wonder what we'd change about the lives we live today,(;)
would we still walk the route we took, or go a different way?
The meter is okay here but there is a slight unnatural accent on the word someone:
How many times I wished I'd told someone how much I cared;
*
But time rushed by and(,) too late now(,) those feelings can't be shared.
Sometimes I get so cross with time, it never takes a breath,(;)
it marches on relentlessly, from birth until our death.
We can't go back, it is a fact, we cannot change the past,(.)
t(T)here's nothing else quite like it; time's a factor made to last.
But(,) if I could, I know I would,(no ,) repeat some things I've done,(--)
enjoy the life I lived with both my parents and my sons.
The love I've shared(,) with nothing spared, was worth the time apart,
for what I had with them will always live within my heart.
Sweet poem. Tender. Deep. Inspired.
Love,
rd
Comment Written 26-May-2017
reply by the author on 26-May-2017
-
Aww, thank you, Rama, so much. You are such a kind and helpful lady and I appreciate you and the time you take correcting my errors. I've changed them all now, I just wish I was like you. I wouldn't be struggling with editing my book. I would have you in an instant if I had the money to spare, but our pensions don't spread far enough as it is. Nuff of that! I'm really pleased you enjoyed my poem, thank you again, my dear friend. (I just had a thought, I think I've just added another regret to my list!!) Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
-
Dear Sandra,
I'd be happy to help you with editing at a discount... and you can pay off the fee over years, if needed. I extend this courtesy to friends who have low budgets, and no one has ever failed to pay it off eventually. You could maybe fit in $25 a month, for example, and make installments only when you're able. (In other words, you can skip months whenever needed).
My alternative lifestyle allows me the luxury of not requiring a steady income amount. So I can take the pressure off for clients who need time to pay the fees.
Thanks for your gracious response, dear.
Love and Hugs,
rd
-
Dear Sandra,
I'd be happy to help you with editing at a discount... and you can pay off the fee over years, if needed. I extend this courtesy to friends who have low budgets, and no one has ever failed to pay it off eventually. You could maybe fit in $25 a month, for example, and make installments only when you're able. (In other words, you can skip months whenever needed).
My alternative lifestyle allows me the luxury of not requiring a steady income amount. So I can take the pressure off for clients who need time to pay the fees.
Thanks for your gracious response, dear.
Love and Hugs,
rd
-
My dear Rama, what a generous offer, I can't thank you enough. But, I will have to find a way to put that money away out of our limited income. It's dire, after we were cheated out of a pension we had saved with the company Graham worked for. Many lost everything. So, I don't want to commit to something I could not pay back and risk losing your friendship, a lady I greatly admire. If I could guarantee that my book would be taken up by a publisher, I would sell the clothes off my back to have you do it. I guess at the end of the day, I'm frightened. You have a big heart my friend and I'll never forget this offer. Biggest ever hugs, and much love. Sandra
-
Oh my, that's horrendous. So sorry that happened to you. It's a huge problem these days---many people who expected a pension after decades of dedicated work are being cheated. So sad.
Thanks for your kind admiration, dear. That means a lot to me.
I recommend sending query letters to publishers.
Is it a poetry book or a novel that you are hoping to publish?
If the former, there is rarely a publisher to take it on unless you have an established name. If the latter, then I recommend researching literary agents who deal in your genre.
Biggest hugs and Infinite Love,
rd
-
It's my novel, This Time - That Time. I am looking for an agent, but again, they are hard to find when you are a newbie. I'll keep trying though, someone might like it, if not, at least I can say I tried. Thank you, dear Rama. You really are an angel. Big hugs. xxxx
-
Aw, thanks, dear. I figured it's your novel. Send me an email, please, and a tally of the total number of words in your novel as well as chapter one. I will assess what kind of discount I can offer you to help spur the process along. ramadevinina@yahoo.com
Huge Hugs,
rd
-
Thank you so much for this, Rama. I have sent the e-mail. Perhaps you will be able to tell me if it is worth sending to an agent. I value your opinion more than most as I know you will be completely honest with me. Lots of love. xxx
-
I'll look into it soon, dear. Thanks. Just emailed you back!
Infinite Love, rd xxooo
