Rest in Peace
A Cinquain pair for the contest29 total reviews
Comment from Just2Write
Awesome, Tony. You get my last six of the week. Beautiful Cinquain pairing. Lovely imagery and excellent presentation. I love your exceptional poetic talent. Two thumbs up for the subtle shift in phrasing when the same words take on new meaning.
Rose.
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Awesome, Tony. You get my last six of the week. Beautiful Cinquain pairing. Lovely imagery and excellent presentation. I love your exceptional poetic talent. Two thumbs up for the subtle shift in phrasing when the same words take on new meaning.
Rose.
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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So many thanks for this review and the six stars, Rose. I started with just the one cinquain then, the following day, revised it heavily. It was only on seeing the two versions side by side that I realised that, with some further fiddling, they'd make a balanced pair with a subtle shift of meaning.
Comment from pbomar1115
I realize this is a style of a poem but I have not nor do not profess to understand what it is relating, but I will give my impression or understanding. This is a person in love but he has to leave. Where and why? That's all I have for you.
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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I realize this is a style of a poem but I have not nor do not profess to understand what it is relating, but I will give my impression or understanding. This is a person in love but he has to leave. Where and why? That's all I have for you.
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Very many thanks for your kind review, pbomar1115. Much appreciated. You have caught some of the meaning of the poem, which is mainly about the death of a loved one. All the best, Tony
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Thanks
Comment from Sanku
There is a lot of pain in these words.
it is about the loss of a dear one.The persona is weeping in silence ,in the cold. In the presence of stars ihe/she is saying goodbye
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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There is a lot of pain in these words.
it is about the loss of a dear one.The persona is weeping in silence ,in the cold. In the presence of stars ihe/she is saying goodbye
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Very many thanks for your kind review, Sanku. Much appreciated. Tony
Comment from DR DIP
short and sweet T I really like your words I have never tried writing a Cinquain I am sure there are rules in writing these and you written your cinquains so well. Good luck in the competition
dip
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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short and sweet T I really like your words I have never tried writing a Cinquain I am sure there are rules in writing these and you written your cinquains so well. Good luck in the competition
dip
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Very many thanks for your review, Dip. Much appreciated. Tony
Comment from Pantygynt
The subtle difference between these two cinquains is not lost. The first bids the ghost be still while in the second the poet is himself still in his misery. A very touching little duo.
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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The subtle difference between these two cinquains is not lost. The first bids the ghost be still while in the second the poet is himself still in his misery. A very touching little duo.
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Thanks, Jim. Thoughts on revising the first one led to a combination of the two versions, rather than rejection of one. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Saying good bye is such a sad reality that has a long term effect on our lives. This is something we long to see never occur again. The way you said goodbye in this poem is so moving, it aroused a sadness within me about all of my losses. good job, very affective.
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Saying good bye is such a sad reality that has a long term effect on our lives. This is something we long to see never occur again. The way you said goodbye in this poem is so moving, it aroused a sadness within me about all of my losses. good job, very affective.
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Very many thanks for your kind and empathetic review, Tier. Much appreciated. Tony
Comment from Mustang Patty
thank you for sharing your entry in the Cinquain poetry contest. Your poem is pleasant and I like the way it begins and ends with the same line. The presentation works and the poem lingers in the mind. Good luck with the contest,
~patty~
reply by the author on 23-May-2017
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thank you for sharing your entry in the Cinquain poetry contest. Your poem is pleasant and I like the way it begins and ends with the same line. The presentation works and the poem lingers in the mind. Good luck with the contest,
~patty~
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 23-May-2017
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Thanks, Patty
Comment from dmt1967
This is a well-written poem and reminds me of something from a Shakespeare play. 'be still my aching heart...' or something like that lol. I like the tone. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
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reply by the author on 23-May-2017
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This is a well-written poem and reminds me of something from a Shakespeare play. 'be still my aching heart...' or something like that lol. I like the tone. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 23-May-2017
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Thanks, DMT. Glad you enjoyed it. Tony
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Tony, all I can say about this Cinquain is that it is perfectly written, beautifully composed, and the words are superb. Two stanzas on the same theme and both are a lovely, rather sad read - perfect entry to the contest. Good Luck. Dorothy
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-May-2017
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Tony, all I can say about this Cinquain is that it is perfectly written, beautifully composed, and the words are superb. Two stanzas on the same theme and both are a lovely, rather sad read - perfect entry to the contest. Good Luck. Dorothy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 23-May-2017
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Thanks, Dorothy. Glad you enjoyed it. Tony
