I wait for you
Free verse.11 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A warm loving write with warm sentiments and a sense of tranquility in these words, I wish you luck with the 'love poem' contest, yours was a joy to read, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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A warm loving write with warm sentiments and a sense of tranquility in these words, I wish you luck with the 'love poem' contest, yours was a joy to read, love Dolly x
Comment Written 24-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Irish Rain
Awww, so sweet, leaving the lantern lit....just beautiful. Also, ...'cerise memories' and 'skyline blush'...lovely descriptive imagery. Love your entry, blessings...
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Awww, so sweet, leaving the lantern lit....just beautiful. Also, ...'cerise memories' and 'skyline blush'...lovely descriptive imagery. Love your entry, blessings...
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written love poem. To watch the sun setting at the end of the day with someone special makes the setting sun even more beautiful to watch.
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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A very well-written love poem. To watch the sun setting at the end of the day with someone special makes the setting sun even more beautiful to watch.
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Pantygynt
This essentially afree verse account of love and for the most part works well as it takes us through a complete day from dawn in S1 to moonlight and beyond. The language is simple but eloquent and has an authentic ring to it. I am not sure why you succumbed to a need for rhyme in the final stanza. There is no resolution in the content so why the resolution in the form. Neither can I see any need for that word "does" since there is no recularity of rhythm. Your hope soars or your hopes soar. Either would be perfect. There is also a syntactical error earlier in that line
"At each footsteps my hope does soar;" The "each" here requires a singular footstep.
Apart from te problems mentioned with this line this works well.
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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This essentially afree verse account of love and for the most part works well as it takes us through a complete day from dawn in S1 to moonlight and beyond. The language is simple but eloquent and has an authentic ring to it. I am not sure why you succumbed to a need for rhyme in the final stanza. There is no resolution in the content so why the resolution in the form. Neither can I see any need for that word "does" since there is no recularity of rhythm. Your hope soars or your hopes soar. Either would be perfect. There is also a syntactical error earlier in that line
"At each footsteps my hope does soar;" The "each" here requires a singular footstep.
Apart from te problems mentioned with this line this works well.
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Thank you very much for this detailed review.The rhyming in the last stanza was unintentional .When I read it out aloud it sounded okay and i did not think it would look odd.
same with 'does' when I read it aloud it was faltering ,something seemed wrong and i tried with 'does ' ,i thought it was alright.
yes it should be 'at each footstep' the grammatical mistake was unforgivable.Quite careless of me..thank you for pointing out .I will correct it immediately.
I just write instinctively .I find rhyming very difficult .I tried in the beginning ,that 's why I ended up with more or less regular line.
But i see your point of view .thanks for taking this trouble.
Comment from Dean Kuch
This is a well written, lovely poetic proclamation portraying the purest love, Sanku.
The eloquent word choices coupled with the poignant, melancholy musings made for a delightful reading experience.
I wish you well in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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This is a well written, lovely poetic proclamation portraying the purest love, Sanku.
The eloquent word choices coupled with the poignant, melancholy musings made for a delightful reading experience.
I wish you well in the contest.
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Thank you very much,.glad you liked my poem.
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My pleasure. :)
Comment from Asem.inspirations
We all have had these moments of waiting for that special love to arrive. When I realized that days have passed since this love has come this saddened me. That kind of waiting can bring an impatience that breaks the heart but it is a lovely poem. It reminded me of one break up that I had yet I kept wishing that this love would miss me enough to just show up at my door, listening for his arrival to my door. I realize now that I do know this wishing. Great poem...
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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We all have had these moments of waiting for that special love to arrive. When I realized that days have passed since this love has come this saddened me. That kind of waiting can bring an impatience that breaks the heart but it is a lovely poem. It reminded me of one break up that I had yet I kept wishing that this love would miss me enough to just show up at my door, listening for his arrival to my door. I realize now that I do know this wishing. Great poem...
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Mustang Patty
such a beautiful love poem. Thank you for sharing your entry in the Love Poetry contest. Within the lines, you've described a deep and nurturing love - the kind we all wish for. Good luck in the contest,
~patty~
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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such a beautiful love poem. Thank you for sharing your entry in the Love Poetry contest. Within the lines, you've described a deep and nurturing love - the kind we all wish for. Good luck in the contest,
~patty~
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very beautifully written love poem you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive wording and great imagery with the picture. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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This is a very beautifully written love poem you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive wording and great imagery with the picture. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Thank you very much.
Comment from rjuselius
this is an exquisite piece of poetry dear sanku! i love the theme and the content! very compelling read. bravo my friend!
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 23-May-2017
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this is an exquisite piece of poetry dear sanku! i love the theme and the content! very compelling read. bravo my friend!
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings!
rebekka x
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 23-May-2017
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Thank you very much, for this brightly shining stars you have given me. this has made my day.
Comment from MaggieF
Lovely picture. I loved this romantic poem, their togetherness out shone everything in nature, I could feel the passion, great imagery. Your words painted a picture of great love, but maybe not the lasting kind. MaggieF
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reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Lovely picture. I loved this romantic poem, their togetherness out shone everything in nature, I could feel the passion, great imagery. Your words painted a picture of great love, but maybe not the lasting kind. MaggieF
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Thank you very much.
