This Time - That Time 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "The Powers That Be"Veronica is sent back again
40 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
-I like the image you chose.
-I am so glad to see your next segment
in the novel, Sandra.
-The opening is intriguing and will be
interesting to see what that is all about.
-Nice intro. to the children.
-Is the # meant as a break to the next section?
-The scene with Ann talking about Daveth is very good;
it adds mystery to the reader as well as Ver. and Mildred.
-I like how you tie it in to the ending of the first novel.
-The ending is good with the dilemma of telling James,
and what Ver.'s life could end up being in the near future.
-Well done!
reply by the author on 23-May-2017
  |
-I like the image you chose.
-I am so glad to see your next segment
in the novel, Sandra.
-The opening is intriguing and will be
interesting to see what that is all about.
-Nice intro. to the children.
-Is the # meant as a break to the next section?
-The scene with Ann talking about Daveth is very good;
it adds mystery to the reader as well as Ver. and Mildred.
-I like how you tie it in to the ending of the first novel.
-The ending is good with the dilemma of telling James,
and what Ver.'s life could end up being in the near future.
-Well done!
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 23-May-2017
-
The # is the break. I have been reading up how agents like the synopsis and first chapters arranged, and they all seem to go with the # sign. Hence the change. Whether I manage to find an agent to take me on, is another question. There are too many authors out there now. We'll see.
Thank you so much for your lovely review, dear Pam, you always did put a smile on my face, and you have again. I love the shooting stars you give me, lol, they are the ones you wish upon!
Veronica has a hard task this time, and will need some help. Where from? We will have to find out, but not yet! (No, it's not Lady Ann!!) Again, thank you, you are a wonderful friend! Biggest hugs still coming from across the pond. :) Sandra xxxx
-
You are very welcome and deserving of the review and special stars, Sandra. Thanks for explaining the symbol. I had heard that if you have another novel in the works, that is looked on favorably. Good luck with both projects. Your friend from across the pond 🙂
Comment from rspoet
Hello Sandra,
It good to see you back, and Veronica and Mildred, too.
You've picked up right where you left off.
The porridge bowl reminded me of Goldilocks and the Three Bears
maybe it's just an "English" thing. lol
"me as I went over and sat on the chair next to Ann [at the table]."
don't think you need the last three words there.
""Daveth's a man now, he told me so," she mumbled. "He's eight--Elowen's five like me."
I like this line, it made me smile and this one,
"I don't know ... a long time ago, 'praps three weeks ... or even ten!"
"I [think I know] where you're going with this, but [tell me] what happened [next, anyway.]?" just a suggestion.
An excellent ending. I'm looking forward to see how you resolve these dilemmas.
Reading this chapter is like meeting an old friend.
Title? This Time - Ann's Time
You have nothing to be nervous about, the book is in good hands, a wonderful writer.
My first impression is that the Council takes away some of the "mystique," but I'll wait to learn more of the council before commenting further.
Well Done!!
RS
reply by the author on 23-May-2017
|
Hello Sandra,
It good to see you back, and Veronica and Mildred, too.
You've picked up right where you left off.
The porridge bowl reminded me of Goldilocks and the Three Bears
maybe it's just an "English" thing. lol
"me as I went over and sat on the chair next to Ann [at the table]."
don't think you need the last three words there.
""Daveth's a man now, he told me so," she mumbled. "He's eight--Elowen's five like me."
I like this line, it made me smile and this one,
"I don't know ... a long time ago, 'praps three weeks ... or even ten!"
"I [think I know] where you're going with this, but [tell me] what happened [next, anyway.]?" just a suggestion.
An excellent ending. I'm looking forward to see how you resolve these dilemmas.
Reading this chapter is like meeting an old friend.
Title? This Time - Ann's Time
You have nothing to be nervous about, the book is in good hands, a wonderful writer.
My first impression is that the Council takes away some of the "mystique," but I'll wait to learn more of the council before commenting further.
Well Done!!
RS
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 23-May-2017
-
I have porridge for breakfast every day, Robert, it makes your hair curl! Or at least, that's what my mum told me. I'm still waiting! LOL. Thank you so much, my friend, for this really wonderful review and your suggestions. I will actually use them.
The council came to me just as I was waking one morning. You won't hear from them much, just now and again to keep things straight. They are not set in cement, I'm playing with them at the moment.
You've really made my day, my friend, all your comments have eased my nerves a bit. It is scary because I can't take it for granted eveyone will like this too. A big hug for the shiny 6 stars! You really are a lovely man! :) Sandra xxx
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
I do love a time traveling, paranormal, historical jaunt, and I feel you are prepared to pack my picnic basket for me. I did get a feel for each character and a glimpse of what was coming, and that is all good. I definitely want to know more. I did suppose I wanted security a bit earlier in the read; to be sure that the mummy was the Veronica referred to in the disembodied conversation. But, as I reread the piece, you do address it twice so I must remain satisfied. Since I can't find the whole previous book in your portfolio, I must rely on this as an entirely new experience. Just because I'm a bit of a buttinsky, how about Before and After or Time In - Time Out for a title? - Wendy
reply by the author on 23-May-2017
 |
I do love a time traveling, paranormal, historical jaunt, and I feel you are prepared to pack my picnic basket for me. I did get a feel for each character and a glimpse of what was coming, and that is all good. I definitely want to know more. I did suppose I wanted security a bit earlier in the read; to be sure that the mummy was the Veronica referred to in the disembodied conversation. But, as I reread the piece, you do address it twice so I must remain satisfied. Since I can't find the whole previous book in your portfolio, I must rely on this as an entirely new experience. Just because I'm a bit of a buttinsky, how about Before and After or Time In - Time Out for a title? - Wendy
Comment Written 23-May-2017
reply by the author on 23-May-2017
-
Thank you, Wendy, for this lovely review. I had another new reader who was looking for the previous book. I was advised to take most of it off if I want to get an agent. But I wrote a synopsis covering the whole of the book if you would like me to PM it to you? This is a separate book, but features most of the original characters and bringing in new ones. Thank you again, my friend. :) Sandra xx
-
Would love to read it to help me dive into the new one! Please do send it.
-
I'll send it now. If you have problems understanding it, let me know as I'm trying to get it right to send to agents. So hard! :( xx
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
I find this to be an interesting read.
Well-written chapter.
Nicely polished.
The format looks good.
The dialogue is believable.
I see NO need for improvement.
Great artwork: The image shown supports the story.
Thanks for sharing a part of your book.
Good luck with your future writing.
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 23-May-2017
|
I find this to be an interesting read.
Well-written chapter.
Nicely polished.
The format looks good.
The dialogue is believable.
I see NO need for improvement.
Great artwork: The image shown supports the story.
Thanks for sharing a part of your book.
Good luck with your future writing.
-Nicole-
Comment Written 22-May-2017
reply by the author on 23-May-2017
-
Thank you so much for your lovely review, Nikki, I'm pleased you enjoyed it. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Aussie
The first thought I had about Jowell, he was Superman wasn't he? I liked the tension throughout the lines. The fear of the daughter having the same gift as the mother. You could call it Changing Places? Well done honey bun.
reply by the author on 23-May-2017
|
The first thought I had about Jowell, he was Superman wasn't he? I liked the tension throughout the lines. The fear of the daughter having the same gift as the mother. You could call it Changing Places? Well done honey bun.
Comment Written 22-May-2017
reply by the author on 23-May-2017
-
You're back! Thank you, dear Kay, I'm so pleased to see you on here again are you back permanently? I never thought of Superman's dad, lol, I'll have to check the spelling and see if it's the same. Big hugs, my friend. xxx
-
I am a 'free member' at present. Have to find money for membership. Thought I could pay it monthly. My reviews don't count towards your rankings :-(. Much love, Kay XXX
Comment from frogbook
Seems a good start to a new tale to me. And now we see that there are controllers of this time travel. Perfect opening for a new trip.
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
|
Seems a good start to a new tale to me. And now we see that there are controllers of this time travel. Perfect opening for a new trip.
Comment Written 22-May-2017
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
-
Thank you, JoAnn, it had to be totally different to work, so I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for the encouraging review, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from alexisleech
What a great start to your new book, Sandra. I love the idea of the'council' deciding where Veronica will go, and how much help they will give her. It explains many unanswered questions regarding her previous trips to the past. I also love the idea of Ann having special powers as well. Lol, that should make for some interesting conversations!
I can't wait to read on.
Alexis xxx
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
|
What a great start to your new book, Sandra. I love the idea of the'council' deciding where Veronica will go, and how much help they will give her. It explains many unanswered questions regarding her previous trips to the past. I also love the idea of Ann having special powers as well. Lol, that should make for some interesting conversations!
I can't wait to read on.
Alexis xxx
Comment Written 22-May-2017
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
-
Thank you so much, Alexis! What a lovely review and all those shiny stars!! You are such a nice lady. Big hugs, my dear friend. xxx :)
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
What a lovely chapter, Sandra - I'm impressed how you managed to keep the child-like speech so constant without making a mistake. ... not easy. You're off to a great start.
She looked back down at her porrige and sighed. -porridge
I'm sure his mummy with him." ?? something's missing - doesn't make sense - mummy's with him??
Daveth said she's got the same colour hair as me[,](.)" [s](S)he sniffed, unconsciously touching hers. - speech followed by action merits a period rather than comma
Merits a six.
Blessings,
Margaret
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
|
What a lovely chapter, Sandra - I'm impressed how you managed to keep the child-like speech so constant without making a mistake. ... not easy. You're off to a great start.
She looked back down at her porrige and sighed. -porridge
I'm sure his mummy with him." ?? something's missing - doesn't make sense - mummy's with him??
Daveth said she's got the same colour hair as me[,](.)" [s](S)he sniffed, unconsciously touching hers. - speech followed by action merits a period rather than comma
Merits a six.
Blessings,
Margaret
Comment Written 22-May-2017
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
-
Thank you so very much, Margaret, for spotting those errors and letting me know. I have made the corrections. And a big hug, my friend, for the six stars and lovely review. I must triple and quadruple check in future! Thanks again. my friend. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from JDRBAR
Why is it that writers can very realistically write about time travel, yet no one has yet figured out how to do it? Interested in how this progresses. I like it.
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
|
Why is it that writers can very realistically write about time travel, yet no one has yet figured out how to do it? Interested in how this progresses. I like it.
Comment Written 22-May-2017
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
-
Wouldn't it be fun? Thank you so much, my friend, for this lovely review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed the first part. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from apky
I noticed you spelt Leif two different ways. If you want to stick to the Scandinavia way of spelling the name, then it's "Leif" not Lief.
But i enjoyed the witty story and of course the witty writer's style.
I'm sure to be back.
Apky
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
|
I noticed you spelt Leif two different ways. If you want to stick to the Scandinavia way of spelling the name, then it's "Leif" not Lief.
But i enjoyed the witty story and of course the witty writer's style.
I'm sure to be back.
Apky
Comment Written 22-May-2017
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
-
Thank you so much for pointing that out to me, I've made the correction. I didn't even know it was a Scandinavian name. This is a great site for learning these things. LOL, thank you for the lovely review, Apky, I really appreciated it. :) Sandra xx
