Comment from kiwigirl2821

Excellent

Hello Estory. This one sounds like a song. It's a version of the he said, you said, I said, it said, we said, she said, nothing at all! A round a bout with a more direct message, at least to me. Well done you! xoxo Kiwi

 Comment Written 27-May-2017

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reply by the author on 30-May-2017

Thanks for the great review and for your comments on this poem. This is another minimalist piece in which I experimented with repeating words and phrases to create the music of the language. It is somewhat a commentary on the perspectives of conversations, the meaninglessness of specific conversations in the context of the larger universe. But it was mostly written as a musical experimentation and kind of fun to do. estory

reply by kiwigirl2821 on 30-May-2017

It definitely worked! lol :)

Comment from Asem.inspirations

Excellent

Hello estory, this is another very different and unique piece from you. I read it out loud and it is quite the tongue twister. I think it is a good way for me to practice public poetry readings. I have not done any yet so this is a good start for me and as usual I will share this piece with my son, Jaime. He likes to read your pieces as I do.

 Comment Written 21-May-2017

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reply by the author on 22-May-2017

Thanks for the five star review and glad you and your son are enjoying my poetry. Performance pieces are part of the future of poetry; I am working with a friend to set some of my pieces to music. he's a percussionist in New Paltz. estory

Comment from ceramic

Excellent

An excellent exposition of how verbal miscommunication works, the poem itself becomes the subject of our attention. The rapid rhythm adds to the effectiveness of the poem.

 Comment Written 21-May-2017

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reply by the author on 22-May-2017

Thanks for the five star review, glad you enjoyed it and found this experimental piece so interesting. estory

Comment from PoemsOfDD

Excellent

estory, I have to say I quite enjoyed reading this tongue twister of a free verse poem. It made me smile at the effort you put into thinking and writing it and the effort to read it to understand the effort. It also reminded me of how gossip starts and can spiral into a tornado of lies and destruction for some people in their life. Depending on how much and what is said, words (truth or lies) can spread like wild fire. Well done for this reflective and definitely interesting read. ~DD

 Comment Written 21-May-2017

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reply by the author on 22-May-2017

Thanks for the five star review and your interesting comments supporting this poem. I think you got what I was trying to do musically; I like busy pieces, dense interwoven patterns of sounds. estory

Comment from Cmelton

Excellent

I think you have done an interesting thing with your words here. At one point I had no idea what was going on, but soon enough I understood what you were trying to do. I think you have experimented with something that deserves to be acknowledged. I think this poem has many things going on, and we are free to try and figure out just what that is. Good job.

 Comment Written 20-May-2017

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reply by the author on 22-May-2017

Thanks for the five star review and your comments supporting the poem. you got exactly what I was trying to do with the rhythms and patterns of the language. This is a new way of writing poetry, leaving iambic pentameter and rhyme schemes behind, and creating music out of repeating patterns of phrases. estory

Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

Hello estory,
now did you make up this word game ( how do you play it) I like the echoes affects of hearing a question coming back- EX.

Let's say we were talking about something.
Let's say we were talking about
Something about what
Gert

 Comment Written 20-May-2017

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reply by the author on 22-May-2017

Thanks for the five star review and your support of the piece. Yes this is an invention of mine. I was kind of influenced by the musical work of Brian Eno, Robert Fripp, Phil Glass and Steve Reich. estory

Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent

I liked this word game and the effort to poetise the thoughts in poet's own original style of expression, purposive indeed about intensity maintained for keeping the style on; speaking is still on.

 Comment Written 20-May-2017

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reply by the author on 22-May-2017

Thanks for the great review and your support of this experimental piece estory