2018 Bernie and Howie Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Bernie and Howie help the Mistress"...stories and poems about the boys
36 total reviews
Comment from Sallyo
It works. Omniscient POV (or is this multi-third) is less common these days, but it used to be THE POV when I was young. I like it, and think it's unfortunate that some people choose to call it "head-hopping". As ever, the dogs come over as real people (which isn't strange, since they are/were.)
One small nit which may be a regional thing:
There were less treats, and
Down under where I live this would need to be
There were fewer treats, and
I'm not sure if that rule applies Up Over as it does Down Under.
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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It works. Omniscient POV (or is this multi-third) is less common these days, but it used to be THE POV when I was young. I like it, and think it's unfortunate that some people choose to call it "head-hopping". As ever, the dogs come over as real people (which isn't strange, since they are/were.)
One small nit which may be a regional thing:
There were less treats, and
Down under where I live this would need to be
There were fewer treats, and
I'm not sure if that rule applies Up Over as it does Down Under.
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Hi there; thank you for letting me know the omniscient POV works for you. You are right - no one uses it anymore, and it is a much easier POV to work with.
These particular dogs 'are.' Howie and Bernie are my current best furry friends. The other animals in the book are 'over the Rainbow Bridge.'
I went in and change the 'less' to 'fewer.' It just seems cleaner.
Thank you, as always, for reading and reviewing. I greatly appreciate you and your kind words,
~patty~
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I'm enjoying these stories:-)
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hey, Patty. I thought I'd drop by to see what Howie and Bernie were up to lately.
Bernie sat down on the bed in confusion. He finally laid on his belly and inched forward so that his nose was next to her hand. It was way past the time they usually got the day started. The bright light in the sky was streaming through the windows. With a deep sigh and a sad heart, he laid his head down between his paws. ... Awww...poor lil' fella. Here Bernie had gotten his hopes up and everything, only to have them put on hold by The Mistress...
Helied lay on his back with his paws hanging limply above his body. ... Yes, "lay" is also the past tense of "lie." The confusion doesn't end there however. To throw you for another loop, "laid" is also the past participle form of "lay." So, when helping verbs are involved, "lay" becomes "laid" and "lie" becomes "lain."
Ain't English grand, heh-heh? ...
Bernie was wondering if they would ever get their treats and then the Mistress started to stir. ..Doggone it! Ya mean to tell me that poor Bernie still hadn't received his treat by this time? I'll bet he about to lose his mind! Insanity leads to canine depravity, just to let you know, LOL...
Maybe the Mistress was back to herself, but he couldn't help but notice the time of day, and the fact she was still in her pajamas. ... Holy hound dogs, Patty. How did did you sleep in that day? Me, I'm lucky if I get to stay in bed past 6:00 am. With almost thirty chickens to feed and water, eggs to gather, and see that five (count 'em! F-I-V-E) doggies go outside to do their business...it's a wonder I getta stay in that long!
Dogs do have a knack for knowing when their two-legged friends are having a less than happy day.
Mine always know somehow.
Good writing, Patty.
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Hey, Patty. I thought I'd drop by to see what Howie and Bernie were up to lately.
Bernie sat down on the bed in confusion. He finally laid on his belly and inched forward so that his nose was next to her hand. It was way past the time they usually got the day started. The bright light in the sky was streaming through the windows. With a deep sigh and a sad heart, he laid his head down between his paws. ... Awww...poor lil' fella. Here Bernie had gotten his hopes up and everything, only to have them put on hold by The Mistress...
He
Ain't English grand, heh-heh? ...
Bernie was wondering if they would ever get their treats and then the Mistress started to stir. ..Doggone it! Ya mean to tell me that poor Bernie still hadn't received his treat by this time? I'll bet he about to lose his mind! Insanity leads to canine depravity, just to let you know, LOL...
Maybe the Mistress was back to herself, but he couldn't help but notice the time of day, and the fact she was still in her pajamas. ... Holy hound dogs, Patty. How did did you sleep in that day? Me, I'm lucky if I get to stay in bed past 6:00 am. With almost thirty chickens to feed and water, eggs to gather, and see that five (count 'em! F-I-V-E) doggies go outside to do their business...it's a wonder I getta stay in that long!
Dogs do have a knack for knowing when their two-legged friends are having a less than happy day.
Mine always know somehow.
Good writing, Patty.
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Hi Dean; thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I have made the edits you suggested and I'm embarrased to say it, but YES - I did sleep in on Monday. I think Bernie had to wait until 8AM to get that first treat. Hubby had fed them before he left for work - but those treats are what gets Bernie's motor running!
Thanks for checking in and helping with the 'lie,' 'lay,' 'laid' stuff. (Aargh - my head hurts!)
Have a great day!
~patty~
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No worries, Patty. That's what we're here for, to learn and improve.
I'm glad I was able to help out in some small way.
You're more than welcome.
~Dean :}
Comment from gene roush
It's cute. You do a nice job with the understanding of the pups. But it is a bit messy.
Here are a few things to look at:
He lied (lay)on his back
Instead, she laid (lay) on her side,
probably waiting for he and Bernie.(for Bernie and him.)
Mistress started to stir.(stirred.)
she started to head (headed) for the coffee pot.
My first composition professor was a stickler on the use of started. He lectured, "Did he start, or did he act?"
This concludes well and sets the stage for the next post.
Thanks for sharing
Gene
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reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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It's cute. You do a nice job with the understanding of the pups. But it is a bit messy.
Here are a few things to look at:
He lied (lay)on his back
Instead, she laid (lay) on her side,
probably waiting for he and Bernie.(for Bernie and him.)
Mistress started to stir.(stirred.)
she started to head (headed) for the coffee pot.
My first composition professor was a stickler on the use of started. He lectured, "Did he start, or did he act?"
This concludes well and sets the stage for the next post.
Thanks for sharing
Gene
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Good morning, Gene; thank you for having my back and catching the Nits. I guess it really is a bad day. I so appreciate you reading and reviewing another of my 'Pet Stories.' I may have found an outlet for my animal writing - my vet is interested in publishing my stories in his monthly newsletter and his online blog. Super excited - not much money, but a bigger audience!
~patty~
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That's great. Have fun.
Comment from c_lucas
I have no problem with this style. As with the present novel, I am using several of the characters to tell the story.This is an intriguing story making for a delightful read.
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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I have no problem with this style. As with the present novel, I am using several of the characters to tell the story.This is an intriguing story making for a delightful read.
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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thank you so much for the lovely review. I'm glad the style works - it isn't fair to only tell the story from one dog's point of view.
~patty~
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
I think it works fine. Katie Jo can always tell how I feel and either comforts me or entertains me. They are so perceptive--more so than people. The only part I didn't understand was where the suitcases fit in since you didn't go anywhere. Thank God for dogs, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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I think it works fine. Katie Jo can always tell how I feel and either comforts me or entertains me. They are so perceptive--more so than people. The only part I didn't understand was where the suitcases fit in since you didn't go anywhere. Thank God for dogs, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Hi Debbie; I guess I need to make it clear that the suitcase was in the prior week. I went to Minnesota to visit my son, and so I was gone, the dogs were in the kennel, and now I'm home - but exhausted and a bit down,
~patty~
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I hope you get some rest and feel better, my friend~Debbie
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
It worked beautifully for me. Animals do sense human's emotions and respond to them. You were lucky that they thought their medication was a treat, lol, they are just like children. I guess you were a bit down after coming home from seeing your son, I understand that completely, I would be the same. The story is coming along lovely and it really is a pleasure to read. :) Sandra xx
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reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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It worked beautifully for me. Animals do sense human's emotions and respond to them. You were lucky that they thought their medication was a treat, lol, they are just like children. I guess you were a bit down after coming home from seeing your son, I understand that completely, I would be the same. The story is coming along lovely and it really is a pleasure to read. :) Sandra xx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Hi Sandra; thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Yes - the down day was definitely due to the trip - and exhaustion! I appreciate your kind words of understanding,
~patty~
