Pecan Pie
Non-Fiction Writing Contest23 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Michael,
This is a great well-written story & tribute to your friend Manny. You did an excellent job with the part that is 'general' info. But your specific info on Manny, the man, was awesome. I know what you meant about a special gift that was so unexpected & meant so much to you. You did a great job expressing that aspect. Readers easily understand how much that pecan pie meant to you. I enjoyed reading your story. Thank you for sharing. Jan
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Michael,
This is a great well-written story & tribute to your friend Manny. You did an excellent job with the part that is 'general' info. But your specific info on Manny, the man, was awesome. I know what you meant about a special gift that was so unexpected & meant so much to you. You did a great job expressing that aspect. Readers easily understand how much that pecan pie meant to you. I enjoyed reading your story. Thank you for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 18-May-2017
Comment from TheWriteTeach
You are absolutely right about being the wordsmith that family members seek out when in need of something written. In my case, it isn't just the family members. It also flows over into work. My teaching colleagues have a well-beaten path to my classroom door. Just because they are teachers, doesn't necessarily mean they know how to construct a coherent piece of written work. They know their own area of expertise, such as history, science, art, music, or shop. However, when it comes to the English/Language Arts stuff, they are not so good. LOL
You've written a very good piece for the non-fiction contest. However, I have a concern, Mikey. You mention Manny was your client. You told us his first and last name, and gave us his diagnosis - mentally ill with schizophrenia, heard voices, and hallucinated. You also told us things Manny believed to be true, due to his illness. My concern is the confidentiality aspect that is expected, and required by law in the health care field, between client and caregiver (be it doctor, nurse, PT, etc.). This piece seems to breach that confidentiality. Death does not end confidentiality requirements. The family of the deceased must give written permission for the caregiver to openly disclose and/or discuss such matters.
I noticed a spag:
I was asked to speak at my friend[,] and client's[,] funeral and sing a song. His name was Manuel Mora. (need commas where indicated)
Good luck in the contest.
Suzanne
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You are absolutely right about being the wordsmith that family members seek out when in need of something written. In my case, it isn't just the family members. It also flows over into work. My teaching colleagues have a well-beaten path to my classroom door. Just because they are teachers, doesn't necessarily mean they know how to construct a coherent piece of written work. They know their own area of expertise, such as history, science, art, music, or shop. However, when it comes to the English/Language Arts stuff, they are not so good. LOL
You've written a very good piece for the non-fiction contest. However, I have a concern, Mikey. You mention Manny was your client. You told us his first and last name, and gave us his diagnosis - mentally ill with schizophrenia, heard voices, and hallucinated. You also told us things Manny believed to be true, due to his illness. My concern is the confidentiality aspect that is expected, and required by law in the health care field, between client and caregiver (be it doctor, nurse, PT, etc.). This piece seems to breach that confidentiality. Death does not end confidentiality requirements. The family of the deceased must give written permission for the caregiver to openly disclose and/or discuss such matters.
I noticed a spag:
I was asked to speak at my friend[,] and client's[,] funeral and sing a song. His name was Manuel Mora. (need commas where indicated)
Good luck in the contest.
Suzanne
Comment Written 18-May-2017
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Michael,
You made me cry. You are right in so many ways. It's true that those of us who can write creatively have an important nitch in our communities. You did an awesome job with Manny's eulogy. It's heartfelt and honest. What more can one ask? It's very beautiful, honey. Good job sweetie pie.
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Hello, Michael,
You made me cry. You are right in so many ways. It's true that those of us who can write creatively have an important nitch in our communities. You did an awesome job with Manny's eulogy. It's heartfelt and honest. What more can one ask? It's very beautiful, honey. Good job sweetie pie.
Comment Written 18-May-2017
Comment from damommy
What a lovely epitaph. There are special people in our lives who stay with us forever, and Manny sounds like one of those.
I like the way you had everyone to stop, picture him, and then smile. As for your terror of performing alone, I can relate. I have never approached the organ for a wedding or funeral that I wasn't shaking like a leaf. And I've been playing in an Episcopal church most of my life. LOL.
I can only try to live in such a way that someone can say such lovely things about me when my time comes.
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What a lovely epitaph. There are special people in our lives who stay with us forever, and Manny sounds like one of those.
I like the way you had everyone to stop, picture him, and then smile. As for your terror of performing alone, I can relate. I have never approached the organ for a wedding or funeral that I wasn't shaking like a leaf. And I've been playing in an Episcopal church most of my life. LOL.
I can only try to live in such a way that someone can say such lovely things about me when my time comes.
Comment Written 18-May-2017
Comment from TAB_that's me
This is very touching. You said some wonderful things about your friend. I like the story you told about the pie. A simple gesture like that can make someone's day - as it did for you.
Well written. I didn't see any spag.
Good luck Mikey in the contest:)
teresa
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This is very touching. You said some wonderful things about your friend. I like the story you told about the pie. A simple gesture like that can make someone's day - as it did for you.
Well written. I didn't see any spag.
Good luck Mikey in the contest:)
teresa
Comment Written 18-May-2017
Comment from l.raven
HI Michael, AMEN...let's all be good in everything we do...lets care and give to others...Manny had a big heart...his joy came from making others happy...that's how it should be...it's the same as you singing and speaking at your friends funeral...it came from your heart...you have a big heart Michael...and you will be known for it...people remember the good in others....your story is very well written my friend...love Linda xxoo
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HI Michael, AMEN...let's all be good in everything we do...lets care and give to others...Manny had a big heart...his joy came from making others happy...that's how it should be...it's the same as you singing and speaking at your friends funeral...it came from your heart...you have a big heart Michael...and you will be known for it...people remember the good in others....your story is very well written my friend...love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 18-May-2017
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is beautifully done, mikey. Can I ask what kind of work you do? Before being disabled, I worked in healthcare for over 20 years--ten years on a mental health unit in a veteran's home. I can tell you are a caring and compassionate person and am sure you are excellent at what you do. Take care, my friend and keep up the superb writing~Debbie
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This is beautifully done, mikey. Can I ask what kind of work you do? Before being disabled, I worked in healthcare for over 20 years--ten years on a mental health unit in a veteran's home. I can tell you are a caring and compassionate person and am sure you are excellent at what you do. Take care, my friend and keep up the superb writing~Debbie
Comment Written 18-May-2017
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
How sad to hear of a life cut short so young.
A wonderful heart-felt piece you've written, Michael.
We can only do our best - and being
remembered as "good" would be fine with me.
As long as there is memory, those we lost live on in the heart.
Margaret
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How sad to hear of a life cut short so young.
A wonderful heart-felt piece you've written, Michael.
We can only do our best - and being
remembered as "good" would be fine with me.
As long as there is memory, those we lost live on in the heart.
Margaret
Comment Written 18-May-2017
Comment from apky
As always, your writing is thoughtful and inspiring - at least for me.
"Let's all be good in everything we do. Let's live a life people will say, when we are finally done, was good."
I say Amen to that.
Bless back,
Apky
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As always, your writing is thoughtful and inspiring - at least for me.
"Let's all be good in everything we do. Let's live a life people will say, when we are finally done, was good."
I say Amen to that.
Bless back,
Apky
Comment Written 18-May-2017
Comment from Dean Kuch
Usually it's something simple like, "help me write a nice note on Grandma's birthday card", or "I need something clever to say at Bill's wedding, I'm giving the toast". But then, there are those serious times, those times of unexpected death or even expected death. ... You're not kidding, Michael! That go-to person in my family just happens to be me.
It's not just notes, eulogies, or poems to loved ones my family asks for. It's help with a college term paper, or writing an essay on Hitler for a high school history project.
It never seems to end, but we help out gladly and do the best we can ...
I agree with your thoughts on how people will remember us once we've gone, Michael. I can think of far worse ways of being remembered besides being "good."
In the end, it's not the things we've acquired over the course of a lifetime that truly matter.
Not the beach house in Malibu.
Not the Z-R1 Corvette, or the Lamborghini.
Not the amount of wealth in our bank accounts.
We cannot take those with us when we go.
No, the stuff that truly matters are things like memories of the time you heard your first-born child cry for the very first time, or of those whom you have loved...and lost, and good times spent with family and friends.
Those are the things we'll remember before the darkness closes in and whisks us away for good.
Wonderfully done, Michael.
I hope to meet up with Manny one day.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Usually it's something simple like, "help me write a nice note on Grandma's birthday card", or "I need something clever to say at Bill's wedding, I'm giving the toast". But then, there are those serious times, those times of unexpected death or even expected death. ... You're not kidding, Michael! That go-to person in my family just happens to be me.
It's not just notes, eulogies, or poems to loved ones my family asks for. It's help with a college term paper, or writing an essay on Hitler for a high school history project.
It never seems to end, but we help out gladly and do the best we can ...
I agree with your thoughts on how people will remember us once we've gone, Michael. I can think of far worse ways of being remembered besides being "good."
In the end, it's not the things we've acquired over the course of a lifetime that truly matter.
Not the beach house in Malibu.
Not the Z-R1 Corvette, or the Lamborghini.
Not the amount of wealth in our bank accounts.
We cannot take those with us when we go.
No, the stuff that truly matters are things like memories of the time you heard your first-born child cry for the very first time, or of those whom you have loved...and lost, and good times spent with family and friends.
Those are the things we'll remember before the darkness closes in and whisks us away for good.
Wonderfully done, Michael.
I hope to meet up with Manny one day.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-May-2017
