Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very strange kind of poetry. It seems quite difficult to do, I cannot find a definitive pattern in this poetry format. The tepeating phrases seems to decline. It is not something I would try to do though.

 Comment Written 18-May-2017

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reply by the author on 19-May-2017

Thank you for your five star review and your interesting comments. It is a rather experimental piece, probably not for everybody. The repetitions create the music here. the poem winds in on itself like a tape recording winding up. I had fun playing around with writing in reverse, pausing, playing, and rewinding the language. In a way, I think it is symbolic of our synthetic kind of life today, where you record what you want, erase what you want, play things back when you want, rewind and watch things over and over. It is not a natural life. So I try to come up with new forms, mechanical forms to capture the sense of it. estory

Comment from Asem.inspirations

Excellent

I enjoy the Author notes as well as your poems because your Author note, especially these, give me an education. You have taught me something knew. I was with my son again when I read this poem. When I told him you posted a new poem he took my cell phone to read it. He is interested in the way you write and he began to explain your poem to me. When he read the Author notes he smiled to realuze that he was correct in explaiing it the way he did. EXACTLY...Interesting

 Comment Written 18-May-2017

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reply by the author on 19-May-2017

Thanks for your five star review and for your interesting comments supporting the piece. i'm not really surprised that young people get this poem more. They are far more tuned in to the tech/mechanical world than we are. We came slightly before it, in a time before DVDs and VCRs. I like experimenting. I don't really feel that Shakespeare and Keats and even Yeats or Heaney, maybe not all of Anderson really captures this computerized, mechanized world we live in now. It needs a new language to describe it, to make the sense of it come to life. By ditching iambic pentameter and rhyme, and using repetitions and gradually changing patterns of sounds, I created a different kind of music in this poem. estory

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

This is quite a work of art! Unusual and clever and sometimes true as in life you take one step forward and two steps back on occasions! Playful words! Love Dolly x

 Comment Written 18-May-2017

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reply by the author on 19-May-2017

Thank you for your five star review and your comments in support of this experimental piece. It's a poem that isn't so much about meaning, although you can say that it captures the sense of machines in our language and life, as it is just a piece of music. It is all about the sound patterns. And I wanted to create a new way of creating music in language. Here the focus is on patterns and gradually changing patterns. estory

Comment from Janilou

Excellent

You certainly succeeded. It was a very interesting and fascinating poem to read. Amazing how the words can take on an entirely different meaning when written in the opposite order. Well done! No errors noted.
Jan

 Comment Written 17-May-2017

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reply by the author on 19-May-2017

Thanks for the five star review and your comments supporting this poem. It was fun to write, just playing around with the patterns and changing patterns to create that sense of synthetic language, playing, pausing, rewinding and playing back again. and winding up into where it came from. the end is probably my favorite part. estory

Comment from Beckelet

Excellent

This poem communicated a feeling of hesitancy and lack of resolve. I really liked the way you played with the words and I think it really works. I thought of a tape recorder--old reel-to-reel--rewinding and how often I've wished I could take back words or actions. But if we could, would we spend all our lives in rewind mode, trying to correct things we just need to move on from? I think you've done an interesting piece here that not only works with the words but also with the meaning.

 Comment Written 17-May-2017

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reply by the author on 19-May-2017

Thanks for the five star review and your interesting comments supporting this experimental piece. You got this exactly I think. It probably isn't for everyone. you have to step out of the box and embrace a whole new way of writing and reading language for this kind of poem, but I think Poetry can't stay still. Shakespeare and Donne, Keats and Yeats, wrote for another time in a style that worked for that time. This is a different age and requires a new understanding of what the possibilities are in creating music with language to capture the sense of this computerized, mechanized world. esptry

Comment from pbomar1115

Excellent

I'm sure the repetition of words will sound much better with music and rhythm. It's possible for this to turn into a hit song. Your words make more sense than many songs with a beat.

 Comment Written 17-May-2017

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reply by the author on 19-May-2017

Thanks for your five star review and your great words of encouragement in supporting this piece. I wonder what it would sound like put to music. I have a friend, a percussionist, working on putting music to some of my poems in NY. I'm waiting for the result. and quite curious to hear what it might be like. Want to explore video/music/ poetry mixed media combinations. estory

reply by pbomar1115 on 19-May-2017

Sounds great.

Comment from lalajovanoski

Excellent

I really found this free verse poem to be nicely written with good form throughout. it has a clever write to it and it flows smoothly. thanks so much for sharing this

 Comment Written 17-May-2017

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reply by the author on 19-May-2017

Thanks for the five star review and your wonderful comments supporting my experimental poem. glad you enjoyed it estory

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

It looks as if it was a lot of fun to write, estory.
An interesting exercise, to be sure.
I hope you had as much fun writing this as I had reading it.
Cool stuff...
~Dean :}

 Comment Written 17-May-2017

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reply by the author on 19-May-2017

anks for the five star review my friend, glad you enjoyed it. a bit different. but I like experimenting. estory

reply by Dean Kuch on 19-May-2017

You bet!

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

this was excellent in its experimentation. I wish I had a six for you because you have shown us the power of words within this piece. Your author's notes are the perfect summary, because I had already felt the music and rhythm. Well done,
~patty~

 Comment Written 17-May-2017

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reply by the author on 19-May-2017

Thanks for your five star review and your encouraging comments supporting this poem. It is a different kind of poetry, glad you kept an open mind and enjoyed it. Poetry can't stay still, it must move on estory