Humanity Project
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "The Bowels of the Earth"A science fiction book about genetic engineering.
27 total reviews
Comment from rspoet
Hello Rhonda,
I think you've made the transition to the mines very smoothly.
"Ayala looked at the entombing walls of the mines"
is an excellent line as it reveals not only the confining environment,
but also the fear and sense of doom Ayala feels.
I imagine coyotes love the wide open space, and would not enter a mine.
It is also a good topic as many suffer from various phobias.
Excellent contrast with the beauty of the mines,
"They glowed and sparkled like messengers of light seeking to warm a realm of darkness"
Informative information about the difference between coal and granite mines.
The personal relationships also are developing and the interdependence of the group.
And it looks like the Tommyknockers are real people (yea)
The ending leads to the next chapter perfectly
Well done, once again
RS
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2017
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Hello Rhonda,
I think you've made the transition to the mines very smoothly.
"Ayala looked at the entombing walls of the mines"
is an excellent line as it reveals not only the confining environment,
but also the fear and sense of doom Ayala feels.
I imagine coyotes love the wide open space, and would not enter a mine.
It is also a good topic as many suffer from various phobias.
Excellent contrast with the beauty of the mines,
"They glowed and sparkled like messengers of light seeking to warm a realm of darkness"
Informative information about the difference between coal and granite mines.
The personal relationships also are developing and the interdependence of the group.
And it looks like the Tommyknockers are real people (yea)
The ending leads to the next chapter perfectly
Well done, once again
RS
Comment Written 20-May-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the six stars and the six star review. You are very specific and that helps me know what worked and what didn't. Yes, the Tommyknockers are real people, but Sani couldn't help messing with the kids about it. It will lesson the blow when they actually meet them.
Sorry for the lateness of this reply, but I've had two surgeries and another tomorrow, so I've been recovering, or medicated to where I couldn't send a decent text, let alone be coherent on his site.
Thank you, again, my friend,
Rhonda
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I wish you well with the surgery, my friend. Don't worry about reviews or replies, your health is the most important thing. Take care of yourself first, and we'll look forward more chapters when you're feeling up to it.
That's what Sani would say!
RS
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You are too funny, and you're right, those words definitely would have come from him. I'll heed your and Sani's advice. lol,
Rhonda
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent. I can relate to Ayala on the claustrophobia. I can't stand to be in an enclosed space either. The very thought of going underground gives me the willies. This is an interesting story and I 'm enjoying it.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2017
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Excellent. I can relate to Ayala on the claustrophobia. I can't stand to be in an enclosed space either. The very thought of going underground gives me the willies. This is an interesting story and I 'm enjoying it.
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2017
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review. I'm not claustrophobic, but my mother really is and I sort of used her reactions to imprint on Ayala. They won't be there long...
Take care, my friend,
Rhonda
Comment from mbroyles2
Extremely well written chapter. The group has finally entered the mines and they get one more rest before the enter Mine City.
Very strong characters and terrific suspense.
Looking forward to more.
Michael
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2017
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Extremely well written chapter. The group has finally entered the mines and they get one more rest before the enter Mine City.
Very strong characters and terrific suspense.
Looking forward to more.
Michael
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the six stars, Michael! I'm sorry for the lateness of this response, but I've been in the hospital. Sill here, but working up a plan to break out. lol.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I found this so interesting, albeit quite daunting for me as I don't like going into caves of any kind - I did go into Cheddar Caves over here once, and I was fine until all these Chinese tourists came in at once and crowded around us so I couldn't get out if I wanted to. I felt quite panicky at the time. My youngest son used to go pot-holing when in his teens and I used to worry something awful until he was home again. Too much like being buried for me!!
Such a well-written chapter, Rhonda - so informative and entertaining.
This merits a six, but I'm right out of them - sorry.
Margaret
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2017
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I found this so interesting, albeit quite daunting for me as I don't like going into caves of any kind - I did go into Cheddar Caves over here once, and I was fine until all these Chinese tourists came in at once and crowded around us so I couldn't get out if I wanted to. I felt quite panicky at the time. My youngest son used to go pot-holing when in his teens and I used to worry something awful until he was home again. Too much like being buried for me!!
Such a well-written chapter, Rhonda - so informative and entertaining.
This merits a six, but I'm right out of them - sorry.
Margaret
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the wonderful review, Margaret!! You are so generous with you praise and virtual 6's. I take that as a great compliment. I put the part in about Ayala, because a lot of people do have that problem and I am focusing a little attention to the issue. Also, it humanizes Ayala, who has been a pretty hard nut to crack so far. I'm not sure when I will post another chapter as I am still in the hospital and am facing another surgery tomorrow. Hopefully, they will be done and I can get better and go on about my way.
Take care, my friend. I'm going to have to go to your site and find out where I left off wit your chapters.
Rhonda
Comment from Sankey
Another interesting chapter. I know I may have some of the fears mention. My dad did opal mining years ago and I hated the steps in the mines. Have you checked my stuff recently I thought all my fans were notified. I split one chapter on a suggestion from one of my reviewers.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2017
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Another interesting chapter. I know I may have some of the fears mention. My dad did opal mining years ago and I hated the steps in the mines. Have you checked my stuff recently I thought all my fans were notified. I split one chapter on a suggestion from one of my reviewers.
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2017
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I haven't been on this site much over the last month because I've had so many health issues and surgeries. I'll try and check them out.
Take care,
Rhonda
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Wishing you well, good to see you.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fascinating story and a bit scary too, believeable and entertaining. I had to look up 'Tommyknockers!' It is great that you inherited your father's love of telling stories, you must have had a great childhood, look forward to reading more of your stories, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2017
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A fascinating story and a bit scary too, believeable and entertaining. I had to look up 'Tommyknockers!' It is great that you inherited your father's love of telling stories, you must have had a great childhood, look forward to reading more of your stories, love Dolly x
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2017
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Thank you, Dolly. You are so sweet to have left such an encouraging review. Sorry for being so late, but I've been in the hospital for close to a month, and have had two surgeries. Tomorrow, I'll have a third. It's hard for me to be creative when I'm in this condition.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from c_lucas
I turned down a visit to Geronimo's cave because it required two hundred and fifty feet of crawling. My knees would have never held up. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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I turned down a visit to Geronimo's cave because it required two hundred and fifty feet of crawling. My knees would have never held up. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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Oh wow, I don't think I could have crawled through a cave, but this one I actually walked around through before writing this chapter.
Thanks for reviewing, Charlie. I am still trying to catch up.
Take care,
Rhonda
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You are welcome, Rhonda.
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Rhonda,
Nice piece of Fantasy Science Fiction beautifully depicting its theme!
Phraseology is lucid, and impressive with lovely imagery at some places.
We generally look above the earth, towards the sky full of wonderful objects, but you have transparently projected the wonders of underground world which are not less beautiful, and are worth enjoying.
The selection of team is good and balanced, as weak Ayala, and strong Archie.
The most striking part is its smooth and enchanting flow from the beginning to the end - A catchy end.
Entertaining as well as Educative - Marvelous!
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Hello Rhonda,
Nice piece of Fantasy Science Fiction beautifully depicting its theme!
Phraseology is lucid, and impressive with lovely imagery at some places.
We generally look above the earth, towards the sky full of wonderful objects, but you have transparently projected the wonders of underground world which are not less beautiful, and are worth enjoying.
The selection of team is good and balanced, as weak Ayala, and strong Archie.
The most striking part is its smooth and enchanting flow from the beginning to the end - A catchy end.
Entertaining as well as Educative - Marvelous!
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Thank you, RP. I actually went to a mine in Colorado and did a walking tour before writing this scene. I did not experience the claustrophobia, but my mother does, so I sort of used her as a model for Ayala's fears. She hated reading this part of the book. lol
I appreciate the six stars and the wonderful and specific review.
Take care,
Rhonda
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Rhonda, Most Welcome!
A piece of writing becomes live if it's based on personal experiences, and here lies the beauty.
Keep it up!
~RP
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Interesting chapter. I wonder what Sani want to talk to Archie about, Nust be something scary if he doesn't want the women to hear it.
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Interesting chapter. I wonder what Sani want to talk to Archie about, Nust be something scary if he doesn't want the women to hear it.
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Thank you for your review, Phyllis. To be honest, it's not bad, but it's something Archie is going to need to know for the last leg of their journey. It was too long to add in with this chapter, so I had to find a stopping point somewhere.
Thanks for taking time to review,
Rhonda
Comment from royowen
After a while, resting, Sani pulls Archie aside to talk, I wonder what about? Great bait fo the the next episode Rhonda. Archie has been comforting Koko, scary stuff, carrying a baby while adventuring. They've got to the wonderful mines, and Sani talks of mysterious sympathisers? Well done, Rhonda, great scribing my friend, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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After a while, resting, Sani pulls Archie aside to talk, I wonder what about? Great bait fo the the next episode Rhonda. Archie has been comforting Koko, scary stuff, carrying a baby while adventuring. They've got to the wonderful mines, and Sani talks of mysterious sympathisers? Well done, Rhonda, great scribing my friend, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Thank you for the review, Roy, and for checking in on my story. I know it's been a few weeks, but I was out with surgery. I may end up going back into the hospital as I'm not healing as well as they expected. I thought I'd finish up this chapter before any of that might happen.
Sani does have sympathizers, and they will help the team, but things are about to get pretty dicy.
Again, much thanks,
Rhonda
