Tanka (After Long Commute)
Cooking goes faster with two cooks.76 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
Darn it, I never have arugula. Neat idea in this--the togetherness of preparing the meal together. You also bring up the idea that improvisation is sometimes necessary. Excellent Tanka format. A great slice of life in this. The partner can tired as well as the one who's made the long commute. judi
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
  |
Darn it, I never have arugula. Neat idea in this--the togetherness of preparing the meal together. You also bring up the idea that improvisation is sometimes necessary. Excellent Tanka format. A great slice of life in this. The partner can tired as well as the one who's made the long commute. judi
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
-
Yes, Judi, improvisation and togetherness are important when preparing meals. Thank you for your review.
-
You're welcome. My husband make the coffee and popcorn. Otherwise, he's out of the kitchen. Not much room, anyway. judi
Comment from nomi338
After a long commute my first priority is to , use the facilities,take off my shoes, stretch my muscles, have a drink: water if I'm not stressed, something stronger if I am stressed, then pig out. Your approach is very civilized, congratulations.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
|
After a long commute my first priority is to , use the facilities,take off my shoes, stretch my muscles, have a drink: water if I'm not stressed, something stronger if I am stressed, then pig out. Your approach is very civilized, congratulations.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
-
Yes, nomi338, it can be hard to cook after a long commute. It's easier with two. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Bill Schott
This tanka, After Long Commute, captures this simple yet possibly serendipitous moment when a new herb enters the culinary universe of friends cooking. I have two notes here: The font color makes the words invisible to me. I would choose a darker text color. The word ARUGULA is missing the second 'U' and makes that line a syllable too short. Happy day.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
|
This tanka, After Long Commute, captures this simple yet possibly serendipitous moment when a new herb enters the culinary universe of friends cooking. I have two notes here: The font color makes the words invisible to me. I would choose a darker text color. The word ARUGULA is missing the second 'U' and makes that line a syllable too short. Happy day.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
-
Oh, thank you, Bill, for your review of my Tanka on a serendipitous moment. I have corrected the font and the spelling. Thanks.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This has a lovely mix of poetry that gives us a sense of smell, taste and colour, all necessary ingredients in the kitchen, plus the benefit of husband and wife sharing the cooking skills. A delight to read, well done. :) Sandra
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
|
This has a lovely mix of poetry that gives us a sense of smell, taste and colour, all necessary ingredients in the kitchen, plus the benefit of husband and wife sharing the cooking skills. A delight to read, well done. :) Sandra
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
-
Oh, thank you, Sandra, for your review. It cheers me.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
This is such a wonderful offering! I enjoyed this so much, a wonderful blend of poetry 'flavors' this is beautifully written, very enjoyable and interesting to read. It definitely paint a warm domestic picture. Much enjoyed kind regards Meia x
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
|
This is such a wonderful offering! I enjoyed this so much, a wonderful blend of poetry 'flavors' this is beautifully written, very enjoyable and interesting to read. It definitely paint a warm domestic picture. Much enjoyed kind regards Meia x
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
-
Thank you, Meia, for your review of my tanka which paints a warm domestic picture. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from bookishfabler
I find the kitchen tired you. I am not sure of the syllables, so I might be wrong but shouldn't it read tired (of) you?
I'm a cook and I adore arugula, my Italian girlfriend introduced it to me by accident when I was in my twenties. I ordered salad and that strange leafy stuff came out. She told me what it was and to try it. I love the stuff.
BTW, this does not show on the old Fanstory page. I usually read in the old version. I found this out with someone else who writes poems. So now if I don't see it, I go to the new version.
Nice Tanka. Hugs Heidi
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
|
I find the kitchen tired you. I am not sure of the syllables, so I might be wrong but shouldn't it read tired (of) you?
I'm a cook and I adore arugula, my Italian girlfriend introduced it to me by accident when I was in my twenties. I ordered salad and that strange leafy stuff came out. She told me what it was and to try it. I love the stuff.
BTW, this does not show on the old Fanstory page. I usually read in the old version. I found this out with someone else who writes poems. So now if I don't see it, I go to the new version.
Nice Tanka. Hugs Heidi
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
-
Oh, thank you, Heidi, for your generous review. I have corrected my spelling of arugula, so now my poem has the correct syllable count. Thank you also for sharing your arugula dining memories. Yum!
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi Andre; this is a charming tanka about the domestic side of life. After a long day, we come home to the tasks at hand. The solution to your problem of a lack of parsley was solved, and thus-no one had to go to the store!
I love sharing the kitchen with my husband. We have a great deal of fun when we prepare a meal together.
Thank you for sharing,
~patty~
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
|
Hi Andre; this is a charming tanka about the domestic side of life. After a long day, we come home to the tasks at hand. The solution to your problem of a lack of parsley was solved, and thus-no one had to go to the store!
I love sharing the kitchen with my husband. We have a great deal of fun when we prepare a meal together.
Thank you for sharing,
~patty~
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
-
Yes, Patty, we have fun when we prepare meals together. Thank you for your review of a charming tanka about the domestic side of life.
Comment from Heather Knight
I like how you've turned common words and common ingredients into something intimate that can be done by two people and that can make you feel better after a long day of work. Kudos!
PS I think you have forgotten a u in arugula in the poem.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
|
I like how you've turned common words and common ingredients into something intimate that can be done by two people and that can make you feel better after a long day of work. Kudos!
PS I think you have forgotten a u in arugula in the poem.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
-
Oh, thank you, Maia, for your review. You are right. I made common words and ingredients intimate. I also corrected arugula. Thanks again.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A sense of togetherness here after a long hard day when a small irritation is relieved by your kind suggestion. Resonating and comforting words of love, best regards, Dolly x
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
|
A sense of togetherness here after a long hard day when a small irritation is relieved by your kind suggestion. Resonating and comforting words of love, best regards, Dolly x
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
-
Oh, thank you, Dolly, for your review of my Tanka about togetherness in the kitchen. I appreciate it.
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Andre,
Your tanka is in perfect form. The only suggestion I'd make is to add quotation marks to the dialogue in two of the lines of your poem. I know that minimal punctuation is generally preferred in tanka and haiku though, so I can see where you might choose to omit the extra punctuation.
Although, I might add that parsley is quite mild and arugula is quite sharp. You likely transformed whatever dish you were making in the kitchen :)
Thanks for sharing!
Kim
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
|
Hi Andre,
Your tanka is in perfect form. The only suggestion I'd make is to add quotation marks to the dialogue in two of the lines of your poem. I know that minimal punctuation is generally preferred in tanka and haiku though, so I can see where you might choose to omit the extra punctuation.
Although, I might add that parsley is quite mild and arugula is quite sharp. You likely transformed whatever dish you were making in the kitchen :)
Thanks for sharing!
Kim
Comment Written 30-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2017
-
Oh, thank you, Kim, for your review and suggestions. My original poem had quotation marks. I decided to forgo them after reading the dialogue haiku and tanka of Sonia Sanchez. These poems are so small that quotation marks add clutter.
Yes, parsley and arugula have different tastes. I mixed the two with thyme in the pesto I made this morning. Thanks again.
