Tanka (After Long Commute)
Cooking goes faster with two cooks.76 total reviews
Comment from emptypage
Interesting work here, Sis Cat. Unfortunately, I'm not certain how to review this piece since I do not know or understand the objective.
As far as what I can say about poetry in general, and not this form, your word picture id effective. I see clearly the two of you cooking, maybe quiet conversation, sharing a task at least one of you does not necessarily feel up to.
Arugula is so much better than parsley!
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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Interesting work here, Sis Cat. Unfortunately, I'm not certain how to review this piece since I do not know or understand the objective.
As far as what I can say about poetry in general, and not this form, your word picture id effective. I see clearly the two of you cooking, maybe quiet conversation, sharing a task at least one of you does not necessarily feel up to.
Arugula is so much better than parsley!
Comment Written 02-May-2017
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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Yes, emptypage, arugula is so much better than parley. Thank you for your review.
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It made me sad, too. I thought about my brother and his husband all night. They are getting divorced, but my favorite thing about them was always how much love you could see between them when they cooked.
Comment from oliver818
What a great poem. I love the subtly of the imagery, the way you make the kitchen scene come alive with such an unusual vegetable as parsley. Thanks for sharing and have a great day
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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What a great poem. I love the subtly of the imagery, the way you make the kitchen scene come alive with such an unusual vegetable as parsley. Thanks for sharing and have a great day
Comment Written 02-May-2017
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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Oh, thank you, Oliver, for your review of my subtle poem. I appreciate it.
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
This is a nice poem you've penned.
Great artwork: The image shown goes well with the poem.
The author's notes are appreciated.
Thanks for sharing your Tanka.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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This is a nice poem you've penned.
Great artwork: The image shown goes well with the poem.
The author's notes are appreciated.
Thanks for sharing your Tanka.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
Comment Written 02-May-2017
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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Oh, thank you, Nicole, for your review. I appreciate it.
Comment from l.raven
HI Andre, I take you are home and safe by now...I hope safe...and yes you are so right...cooking does go faster with two...I love when there is more than one cook...but you better hope they like the same things...LOL...very nicely written my friend...and ouch on the picture...hot...love Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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HI Andre, I take you are home and safe by now...I hope safe...and yes you are so right...cooking does go faster with two...I love when there is more than one cook...but you better hope they like the same things...LOL...very nicely written my friend...and ouch on the picture...hot...love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 02-May-2017
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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Oh, thank you, Linda, for your generous review of my tanka. Yes, cooking goes faster with two. I am home now. Thanks.
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so glad to here it...glad you got home safe...you are so welcome...have a wonderful evening...xxoo love
Comment from Oatmeal
Sis Cat,
Your arrangement looks very nice. Thoughts are expressed and described well. Your poem made me smile. The flow was good. Very well formatted and full of descriptive narrations.
There was no SPAG, no typos, no room for improvement.
The words you chose worked well.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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Sis Cat,
Your arrangement looks very nice. Thoughts are expressed and described well. Your poem made me smile. The flow was good. Very well formatted and full of descriptive narrations.
There was no SPAG, no typos, no room for improvement.
The words you chose worked well.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 01-May-2017
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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Oh, thank you, Oatmeal, for your detailed review. I look forward to your thoughtful reviews again.
Comment from rspoet
This is a good tanka with the 5-7-5-7-7 traditional syllables
Many tankas use the third line as a pivot
so the first three lines and the last three both form independent
senryu, haiku, or just poems, but it's not required
To me, line three was close to that pivot
but I do like the humor of simply using arugula
not much to parley, more decoration than taste
Togetherness seems the heart of the tanka
RS
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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This is a good tanka with the 5-7-5-7-7 traditional syllables
Many tankas use the third line as a pivot
so the first three lines and the last three both form independent
senryu, haiku, or just poems, but it's not required
To me, line three was close to that pivot
but I do like the humor of simply using arugula
not much to parley, more decoration than taste
Togetherness seems the heart of the tanka
RS
Comment Written 01-May-2017
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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Yes, RS, togetherness was the theme of my poem. Thank you for your detailed review. I appreciate it.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Interesting artwork.
-Format is good.
-I guess you would be tired
after a long commute,
and would not want to shop for
more ingredients.
-Substitution is the way to do it!
-Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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-Interesting artwork.
-Format is good.
-I guess you would be tired
after a long commute,
and would not want to shop for
more ingredients.
-Substitution is the way to do it!
-Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 01-May-2017
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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Yes, Pam, I would rather substitute than go back shopping after a long commute. Thank you for your review.
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You are welcome, and I totally agree!
Comment from JW
Thanks for sharing this tanka.
Cooking is something I do on a regular basis. But using the stove is something I try to limit to one a day. A toaster oven or microwave is preferred. :-) JW
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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Thanks for sharing this tanka.
Cooking is something I do on a regular basis. But using the stove is something I try to limit to one a day. A toaster oven or microwave is preferred. :-) JW
Comment Written 01-May-2017
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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Oh, thank you, JW, for your culinary review of my tanka.
Comment from smileycloud
good form
interesting content
conveys a strong message of team work harmony and stepping up to the plate even after a big day
it is good to get home and be together and still eat well
compromise and companionship
have a smiley day
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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good form
interesting content
conveys a strong message of team work harmony and stepping up to the plate even after a big day
it is good to get home and be together and still eat well
compromise and companionship
have a smiley day
Comment Written 01-May-2017
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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Thank you, smileycloud, for your review which made me smile. Yes, compromise and companionship are key.
Comment from Susanjohn
Arugula? parsley? they are both green! Go for it!!...heck, a man cooking?....I'd happily eat whatever is served!!!... very nice! enjoyed reading!! :-))))
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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Arugula? parsley? they are both green! Go for it!!...heck, a man cooking?....I'd happily eat whatever is served!!!... very nice! enjoyed reading!! :-))))
Comment Written 01-May-2017
reply by the author on 02-May-2017
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Oh, thank you, Susan, for your culinary review of my tanka. Yum!
