Chernobyl
9-1-1 poem21 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with the contest prompt. Your syllables are correct in each line. Your poem makes a strong statement, too.
suggestions:
space after comma before the word the
not sure about 'the mute town's sighs [does the town own the sighs & how can mute sound--without the apostrophe, I can see how it would work--maybe a dash after sighs like this sighs-- ]
Best wishes in the contest. Jan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
  |
You did a great job with the contest prompt. Your syllables are correct in each line. Your poem makes a strong statement, too.
suggestions:
space after comma before the word the
not sure about 'the mute town's sighs [does the town own the sighs & how can mute sound--without the apostrophe, I can see how it would work--maybe a dash after sighs like this sighs-- ]
Best wishes in the contest. Jan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
-
By sighs I meant the radiations -even now it is potentially dangerous.
Town's sighs-sighs coming out from the town.Thank you very much for reading and suggesting.the syllable counts restricts our freedom of expression.
