Gift Exchange
50-word micro story40 total reviews
Comment from Antoine Charlemaine
That's rather sweet, Kazza. You have made a poignant statement about a mother's love in just a few short words. I guess that's the object of the exercise. The use of newspaper as a wrapper is a pointed detail. Dear little chap... Gotta love him.
Ant xx
(I was very good this time, wasn't I?)
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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That's rather sweet, Kazza. You have made a poignant statement about a mother's love in just a few short words. I guess that's the object of the exercise. The use of newspaper as a wrapper is a pointed detail. Dear little chap... Gotta love him.
Ant xx
(I was very good this time, wasn't I?)
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Dear Well-BehavedAnt...yeah, I kinda like your five star galaxy ... but I really only need one star to make a wish on! LOL
Thanks for your review, and great comments for my micro-mini story. What a challenge it is for a wordy girl like me to write using so few words and keep emotion and have the requirements of a story. I love writing about little kids, and have lots of them in my portfolio...see, I do write stuff other than hairdo and haibun. (If you ever wanna read any, I have some suggestions)
Thanks for your A+ good boy behavior...but I do miss your sassy humor.
Smiles,
KazzaMini :-)
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Happy with one star? Righto, I'll go back and change it to a one... I can give you as many lone stars as you like, if that will please you. And what will you wish on? Oh, that's right. You can't tell me, otherwise it won't come true...
Writing normal reviews is so hum drum... But, gotta keep the critics happy...(and off your back)...
I will accept your reading suggestions with gleeful anticipation. I have read many of yours already, of course... And I do note that the promised hair bun has not yet materialised...
SquashedAnt xx
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LMAO at the squashed Ant! No! Please humor this spoiled brat and give her five stars...she can pick one from the five to wish on. LOL
Working on the hairy bun. I'm never in a hurry and need to do a weedy hair do first. Whew...life as a writer sure is rough.
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I could never humor you, but I will humour you. (It was hard even writing that wrong!)
A weedy hair do... Right... Can't wait...
A tough life? My heart bleeds for you. You'd better have a holiday after all this frenetic writing activity. Somewhere new and different. Somewhere exciting and full of wonderful people. Somewhere like...oh, I don't know...Australia, perhaps? You're the retired one, remember. With a tough life...
PostHumerousAnt xx (well, someone squashed me.)
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Was previous comment another misplaced reply to a reply? Just wonderin' 'cause if it wasn't, then you totally ignored me...
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Sweet little mini-story. I think he did get the best gift. A gift even better than a hug would have been news she was getting well and would be coming home soon.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Sweet little mini-story. I think he did get the best gift. A gift even better than a hug would have been news she was getting well and would be coming home soon.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thanks for your kind review for my micro story, Phyllis. I appreciate your comments, and thanks for your encouraging response.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Donya Quijote
Aw! This is very sweet, sentimental, moving. I really like the image you have created. I know that this scene plays out from time to time real life and must be more than special for all involved.
i once wrapped all my Christmas gifts in newspaper, the comic section. They were nicely wrapped by no one appreciated the wrapping. Then, for consecutive years I wrapped them in other things like brown paper bags and tin foil, etc. After the tin foil someone commented, mom I think, that she much preferred the newspaper wrappings to the other ones. I went back to regular wrapping paper, but I had fun.
Good write for about 50 words. Best of luck in the contest...
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Aw! This is very sweet, sentimental, moving. I really like the image you have created. I know that this scene plays out from time to time real life and must be more than special for all involved.
i once wrapped all my Christmas gifts in newspaper, the comic section. They were nicely wrapped by no one appreciated the wrapping. Then, for consecutive years I wrapped them in other things like brown paper bags and tin foil, etc. After the tin foil someone commented, mom I think, that she much preferred the newspaper wrappings to the other ones. I went back to regular wrapping paper, but I had fun.
Good write for about 50 words. Best of luck in the contest...
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thanks for your kind review for my micro story, Donya. I appreciate your comments, and thanks for your encouraging response. Thanks, too, for your good luck wish in the contest.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Hitcher
Nice!!, that is but one of the magical gift's our children they process, that gift of wanting to make us happy and then doing just that. Then they make us even happier when we see that our happiness has made them happy... Precious!! Good luck Indy!
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Nice!!, that is but one of the magical gift's our children they process, that gift of wanting to make us happy and then doing just that. Then they make us even happier when we see that our happiness has made them happy... Precious!! Good luck Indy!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thanks so much, Hitch, for this awesome review, your comments, and generous rating for my micro story. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and share your kind words. Thanks, my friend, for your good luck wish in the contest.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from mountainwriter49
Hey, Kar,
You're a master at this short poetic form! Flash fiction is something I love to read, but I can't write a line of it!
This one is very short, 50 word, plus or minus a few, so you had to pack it in tightly. You did!
The first paragraph sets the basis and tone. The second digs deep into emotive punch. I like that.
The only thing I question is the inverted sentence. What about saying:
He did make her happy by visiting her in the hospital.
I loved the last line. It shows kids have a deeper understanding for which adults give them little credit. Loved it. Best luck in the booth!
Ray
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Hey, Kar,
You're a master at this short poetic form! Flash fiction is something I love to read, but I can't write a line of it!
This one is very short, 50 word, plus or minus a few, so you had to pack it in tightly. You did!
The first paragraph sets the basis and tone. The second digs deep into emotive punch. I like that.
The only thing I question is the inverted sentence. What about saying:
He did make her happy by visiting her in the hospital.
I loved the last line. It shows kids have a deeper understanding for which adults give them little credit. Loved it. Best luck in the booth!
Ray
Comment Written 19-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thank you so much. PM, for this wonderful review, generous rating, and your always encouraging support for my writing. I'm pleased you enjoyed this little micro story, and thanks for your kind response. Appreciate your mentioning the last line.
Smiles,
Kar :-)
Comment from Spitfire
Great title. I love the picture and tried to imagine what it could be. Had you been allowed more words, you could have elaborated on that.
Just my opinion, but I thing a comma after 'he smiled' would emphasize its use in the first paragraph.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Great title. I love the picture and tried to imagine what it could be. Had you been allowed more words, you could have elaborated on that.
Just my opinion, but I thing a comma after 'he smiled' would emphasize its use in the first paragraph.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thanks for your kind review for my micro story, Shari. I appreciate your comments, and thanks for your encouraging response. Thanks for helping to make the story better with your suggestion, and thanks for mentioning you liked the title.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
'Gift Exchange' is an excellent read.
Great artwork: The image shown is a perfect fit for this story.
How sweet? I remember when my boys had me pay for my Christmas gifts they'd picked out one year. They came home and wrapped them, put them under the tree and told me not to open them until Christmas. I know this would make a great story in longer length. Good job!
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Thanks for sharing.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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'Gift Exchange' is an excellent read.
Great artwork: The image shown is a perfect fit for this story.
How sweet? I remember when my boys had me pay for my Christmas gifts they'd picked out one year. They came home and wrapped them, put them under the tree and told me not to open them until Christmas. I know this would make a great story in longer length. Good job!
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Thanks for sharing.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
Comment Written 19-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thanks for your kind review for my micro story, Nicole. I appreciate your comments, and thanks for your encouraging response. Thanks for your kind good luck wish, too.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Jay Squires
Those are some of the best presents, wrapped by a child from discarded newspaper or even a grocery bag. Tender, touching micro flash, Karyn, with the little lesson learned at the end that the giver becomes the receiver. This should do well! Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Those are some of the best presents, wrapped by a child from discarded newspaper or even a grocery bag. Tender, touching micro flash, Karyn, with the little lesson learned at the end that the giver becomes the receiver. This should do well! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thanks for your kind review for my micro story, Jay. I appreciate your comments, and thanks for your encouraging response. I'm pleased you enjoyed the story, and thanks, too, for your good luck wish for the,contest.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from patcelaw
As a mother, I can identify with the mother here. I always loved it when my children brought me gift that they themselves had picked out. Many blessings for a wonderful tomorrow. Patricia
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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As a mother, I can identify with the mother here. I always loved it when my children brought me gift that they themselves had picked out. Many blessings for a wonderful tomorrow. Patricia
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thanks for your kind review for my micro story, Patricia. I appreciate your comments, and thanks for your encouraging response.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from XGoneX
Hi,
You follow the contest rules well and the word count.
This is a story that will put a smile in one's face. He took a present to his ill mother, hoping to make her feel happy. In the end he was the happiest one to see her smile and happy with his gift.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Hi,
You follow the contest rules well and the word count.
This is a story that will put a smile in one's face. He took a present to his ill mother, hoping to make her feel happy. In the end he was the happiest one to see her smile and happy with his gift.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thanks for your kind review for my micro story, Targaryen. I appreciate your comments, and thanks for your encouraging response. I'm pleased you enjoyed it, and thanks for sYing it will make readers smile.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
