Reviews from

Patterns

Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Waiting"
poetry

14 total reviews 
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like that:

"Anticipation is a part of life an it builds character."

This line is a masterpiece. I never thought of it that way but I guess you are right. Waiting builds patience. Patience builds maturity. When I was a much younger lady, wrapped up in all of my stupidities and ignorant anger and behaviors, I was indeed a very impatient person, immature. I did not know how to wait for anything, Now that I am older more mature, more patient, I can see that I do have more character.

There is so much more about this piece that I enjoyed but I'm just finishing up my overnight shift at work. Time to go now but I love this poem...Good job...

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
    Thanks for the great review and for your support of the poem. Waiting is such a big part of life, everyone can relate to it, so I tried to build the poem around the word 'waiting' and all the places we find ourselves waiting around. estory
Comment from JanetRussek
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Why don't they allow more 6's to give? This piece is priceless. A conflict between frustration and patience. I love it. A delightful read. Looking forward to your next work of art.
Warm Regards,
Janet

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 24-Apr-2017
    Thank you for the excellent review and your comments supporting this piece. It was fun to write. Just thought about all the times waiting takes up time in our life, It is a big part of life. and I went into all those places and used repetitions of the word 'waiting' and a few rhymes here and there to create the music. I need to do some reviewing to gain some member dollars, then hopefully I will be posting again later this week. estory
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

We seem to live in a world where everyone has to queue. Here in Spain the beaurocracy means you take a ticket at the post office, tax office and shop and wait your turn, I identified with your words, we wait for everything these days! Love Dolly x

 Comment Written 19-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 19-Apr-2017
    Thanks for the great review and your comments identifying with the sentiments of the poem. So much of our lives are spent waiting around, in waiting rooms, in traffic, in offices, in doctor's offices, that I felt it would be a good subject to capture in minimalist poetry. estory
Comment from SeanFox16
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I really enjoyed this poem. It really got me thinking about the amount of time we spend each day waiting for things to happen. I guess in a way, we spend our whole lives waiting for things that in most cases never happen. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 19-Apr-2017
    Thanks for the great review and all your comments identifying with the waiting around captured in the poem. I am glad this minimalist piece worked estory
Comment from Irish Rain
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Love this...because I just love waiting. I use it to full advantage, to observe what little part of the world I find myself held in. Always very informative. Anticipation is always a gift!! Blessings...

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 19-Apr-2017
    Thanks for the great review and your wonderful comments identifying with the sentiments of this minimalist piece. Waiting is such a big part of our lives, often overlooked in the scramble to get where we are going, but a big part of the journey estory
Comment from Gert sherwood
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello estory
I like you poem about all the wasting we have to do now days

I really like how as we wait to me it helps and teaches us to have Patience.

Gert

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 19-Apr-2017
    Thanks for the great review and your comments identifying with the sentiments of this piece estory
reply by Gert sherwood on 19-Apr-2017
    Hi You are welcome estory

    Gert
Comment from MaggieF
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Waiting, what does is really mean, is there ever a good 'waiting'? Gosh reading your poem I didn't realise how much time we spent waiting, could we do anything constructive whilst waiting? Liked the pace of the poem, slow then fast. I'm going to cut down my waiting time. MaggieF

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 19-Apr-2017
    Thanks for the great review and your comments about waiting around; it is such a big part of the journey we are on, often overlooked in the scramble to get where we think we want to go. But often we remember the waiting around fondly, later in life estory
Comment from kahpot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent read and the flow was great it is good to read about the everyday trials that we go through, excluding the ones we don't stop seeing or hearing about (news) I very much enjoyed this****kahpot

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 19-Apr-2017
    Thanks for the great review and glad you enjoyed this little poem about the waiting parts of the journey of life estory
Comment from Laurie Clayton
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello there,

I have to say, I feel your pain with this one. How well your choice of words have encapsulated today's 'Hurry up and wait' culture.

Some how, I think the population in general is missing the point of living.

Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 19-Apr-2017
    Thanks for the great review and your interesting comments about the time we spend waiting around, on this journey of life. estory
Comment from robyn corum
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Estory,

This is an interesting poem about all the time we spend waiting. I thought it was quite unusual and different and it made me stop and think. Nice! *smile*

Some notes for you to consider, though:
1.) you have caps at the beginning of every line, whether it's needed or not. I would strongly recommend you edit that and consider punctuating as you would as if these were continuing sentences (which they are.) Use capitals where they are called for, please.

2.) Waiting in the (queue) of ticket lines

3.) We sit around waiting for things to happen in
--> your last line looks like you were still writing something and just got cut off. There is a dangling 'in' there. Is something left off or is that an extra word?

Thanks!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 19-Apr-2017
    Thanks for your review and your suggestions, but it is traditional to start poetry lines with capitalizations, and I don't break with that tradition. This is not really a prose poetry piece, more of a minimalism in stanzas, in which the music of the poem comes from the repetitions of the word 'watiing' in various parts of lines. the last line is hanging in the air because I like that effect, it is like a door closing on you, like a television scene glimpsed while flipping through channels. Many of my poems use this effect because I like the idea of images floating away like balloons. estory