My Powerline
Realization of who I am12 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
This is POWERFUl and unique. An impressive and memorable poem. Superb free verse style. Striking presentation (pun intended) and color scheme that matches well.
good choice to avoid end line punctuation but I am wondering about the one single period in this line:
Good Mother.
Is that a typo? I suggest trimming it out, since no other lines have periods.
Most impacting lines:
I let others define me
Pen me in ink
Pen me in crayon
Pen me in erasable marker (***GENIUS!)
Superb pivot here:
Until
I risked total failure
OUtstanding cathartic AHA:
Ultimately
My life was a decision
My life was a choice
My life was a promise
And then one day
I lit my own powerline
I spoke with my own voice
I reached for my own happiness
Yes yes yes!
happiness is a CHOICE!!
Perfect closing note:
And my powerline
Ignites my soul
invigorates my life
initiates belief in dreams
And I am the owner
of the light switch
Yes!
Love this. Wish I had a six.
Bravo
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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This is POWERFUl and unique. An impressive and memorable poem. Superb free verse style. Striking presentation (pun intended) and color scheme that matches well.
good choice to avoid end line punctuation but I am wondering about the one single period in this line:
Good Mother.
Is that a typo? I suggest trimming it out, since no other lines have periods.
Most impacting lines:
I let others define me
Pen me in ink
Pen me in crayon
Pen me in erasable marker (***GENIUS!)
Superb pivot here:
Until
I risked total failure
OUtstanding cathartic AHA:
Ultimately
My life was a decision
My life was a choice
My life was a promise
And then one day
I lit my own powerline
I spoke with my own voice
I reached for my own happiness
Yes yes yes!
happiness is a CHOICE!!
Perfect closing note:
And my powerline
Ignites my soul
invigorates my life
initiates belief in dreams
And I am the owner
of the light switch
Yes!
Love this. Wish I had a six.
Bravo
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 24-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2017
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Rama, thank you so much. It was a free verse I needed to write. I will check the corrections you told me. It is actually my favorite poem. It means so much to me.
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It's a memorable and impressive work! Not surprised it's your favorite. The intense emotion translates to the reader. Kudos!
Warmly, rd
Comment from kahpot
What an excellent poem telling a story of self-discovery and self-empowerment and yes you must believe great artwork explaining your terrific words well done****kahpot
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2017
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What an excellent poem telling a story of self-discovery and self-empowerment and yes you must believe great artwork explaining your terrific words well done****kahpot
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2017
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thank you, We all need to be our own powerline. Thank you so much. Great artwork too.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written free verse poem. Everyone else want to have our attention in many ways. The take everything we have all our energy until we realize we have control over our power switch.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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A very well-written free verse poem. Everyone else want to have our attention in many ways. The take everything we have all our energy until we realize we have control over our power switch.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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Thank you Sandra, Happy EAster
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is an amazing write and should be read by all those who fall on hard times, It is uplifting and gave me a sense of purpose, I loved your resonating word and for me it deserves a six, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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This is an amazing write and should be read by all those who fall on hard times, It is uplifting and gave me a sense of purpose, I loved your resonating word and for me it deserves a six, love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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thank ou so much dolly, It was an amazing journey to where I am today. People who support me like you do are the voice I need to hear.
Comment from Dawn Munro
If I tell you that I am honored to be in the company of such fine poets as you, and the others who entered this prompt, will you believe me? (I know you will.) I haven't been able to review as often as I want to, to even be onsite as much as I want to, and I have missed much of your beautiful work, but I have never read anything of yours, my friend, that doesn't stir my soul.
Congratulations. Happy Easter, Happy Passover.
Love,
Dawn
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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If I tell you that I am honored to be in the company of such fine poets as you, and the others who entered this prompt, will you believe me? (I know you will.) I haven't been able to review as often as I want to, to even be onsite as much as I want to, and I have missed much of your beautiful work, but I have never read anything of yours, my friend, that doesn't stir my soul.
Congratulations. Happy Easter, Happy Passover.
Love,
Dawn
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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Your words brought tears to my eyes. This journey we call life is an amazing challenging. The support I get from people like you are the voices I need to hear.
Comment from Irish Rain
Just wonderful. I wonder how many of us were raised this way? And by the time we hit mid-30's...we've totally lost ourselves? THEN...when we try to do something for ourselves, after years of doing for others...we're called 'selfish?' Good for you!! Light that powerline....throw that switch! Love this!! Happy Easter!
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Just wonderful. I wonder how many of us were raised this way? And by the time we hit mid-30's...we've totally lost ourselves? THEN...when we try to do something for ourselves, after years of doing for others...we're called 'selfish?' Good for you!! Light that powerline....throw that switch! Love this!! Happy Easter!
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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thank you I love free verse and this contest was just what I needed to get it out of my, Thank you so much.
Comment from MaggieF
A very exciting, positive poem, which works well with the striking picture. 'I let' works well, showing how little control you had over your life. 'until' works well to show how you took control. The final two lines are so uplifting, go you. MaggieF
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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A very exciting, positive poem, which works well with the striking picture. 'I let' works well, showing how little control you had over your life. 'until' works well to show how you took control. The final two lines are so uplifting, go you. MaggieF
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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thank you Maggie, Long learned lesson but once I learned it life blossomed.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Your entire poem resonated with me, but I think I loved the last line:
'And I am the owner
of the light switch'
The emotion portrayed and the growth of the woman inside shines all the way through. Thank you so much for sharing this well penned poem,
~patty~
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Your entire poem resonated with me, but I think I loved the last line:
'And I am the owner
of the light switch'
The emotion portrayed and the growth of the woman inside shines all the way through. Thank you so much for sharing this well penned poem,
~patty~
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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thank you for the Easter bunny, Ironically, a rebirth for both of us.
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You're welcome, 😀
Comment from BeasPeas
Bravo. This is a wonderful free verse and you have spoken for untold numbers of women. I identify with your lines. Sooner or later there comes a time of reconciliation with self. A powerful and redeeming poem. Sorry I don't have a sixer for you. Marilyn
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Bravo. This is a wonderful free verse and you have spoken for untold numbers of women. I identify with your lines. Sooner or later there comes a time of reconciliation with self. A powerful and redeeming poem. Sorry I don't have a sixer for you. Marilyn
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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thank you so much. It is indeed my own journey and life is wonderful now.
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My story, too. Kudos to both of us and let's hope more are on the journey to self fulfillment. Marilyn
Comment from Vijay Kumar V
It's so true finally an inner journey to happiness. You have penned the feelings of every girl. So artistic was the imagery used and the wordings sound pretty flawless flow.
Have a nice day
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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It's so true finally an inner journey to happiness. You have penned the feelings of every girl. So artistic was the imagery used and the wordings sound pretty flawless flow.
Have a nice day
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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thank you so much. I think too many of us remain powerless. I know I did when younger but not now. and life is so good.
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Yes, i see a lot of girls running and playing interesting park near by and the sorry thing is as they grow the society takes that enthusiasm from them to a bible of rules. I have many of my cousins helpless. They can't play at the beach like we did in our childhood. Namaskaram
