Scripts
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "I'm Going to Tell Teacher Part I"Scripts
19 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Once again I read a post out of order. Sorry! I followed along anyway. That's a mark of a good author, No surprise it's you. This is another good write.
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Once again I read a post out of order. Sorry! I followed along anyway. That's a mark of a good author, No surprise it's you. This is another good write.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
no no, everything is fine, Mikey. Keep going just as you are with confidence. Its beautiful. I love it because the humour is so clever and very subtle. Besides, I am extremely engaged and can't wait to read more, Giddy
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no no, everything is fine, Mikey. Keep going just as you are with confidence. Its beautiful. I love it because the humour is so clever and very subtle. Besides, I am extremely engaged and can't wait to read more, Giddy
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
Comment from Gloria ....
Well the picture of Mary Kay Letourneau got me right off the bat in this delightful romp into the before/afterworld.
Some terrific lines with great comebacks. And lots of action build into a dynamite script.
Super idea with this one Mav.
Ange
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Well the picture of Mary Kay Letourneau got me right off the bat in this delightful romp into the before/afterworld.
Some terrific lines with great comebacks. And lots of action build into a dynamite script.
Super idea with this one Mav.
Ange
Comment Written 13-Apr-2017
Comment from Lu Saluna
I was really enjoying this line of dialogue and then ... you stopped. Now I have to wait for part 2. What a shame. I will wait for part 2 and 3 if that be the case. I thought this witty and creative. If you need to go for 3 parts, go for it!
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I was really enjoying this line of dialogue and then ... you stopped. Now I have to wait for part 2. What a shame. I will wait for part 2 and 3 if that be the case. I thought this witty and creative. If you need to go for 3 parts, go for it!
Comment Written 13-Apr-2017
Comment from Bootsiepearl
Second Character, Ria is now entering the pearly gates in an unorganized fashion. She's being escorted by two healthy statue men wearing clean, white suits. She can't hide on her face she's confused, and wants to go home. She's about 5'7", normal/athletic build with natural curly, red hair. She has a southern twang and an independent country attitude.
SCENE 3
FADE IN
Ria Questions the men while being walked in the pearly gates of heaven.
Periodically resisting the two men, only when she takes her eyes of the beautiful Golden garden with every flower Bloomed at their fullest potential. She's never seen such a place.
RIA: Let go! I don't know who you think you are but I have things to do! Ahhh,
Do you hear me? What are you people lookin' at? Haven't you ever seen a ginger before?
Michael looks at Janice as she gives a smile and shakes her head as if she's seen this reaction many times.
MICHAEL: Who is that??
JANICE: Your accountability partner.
With a confused look he answers quickly.
MICHAEL: Accountability Partner??
Janice chuckles
JANICE: I make no mistakes
MICHAEL: You want me to.... Do what? Am I in trouble
Janice smiles then has a serious look on her face.
JANICE: No. I have an unfinished job I need you both to do.
Michael takes a deep breath in, and sarcastically says.
MICHAEL: Well, I guess just put it on my tab.
FADE OUT
First try at this, so if it's weird you won't hurt my feelings. lol.
- Alex
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Second Character, Ria is now entering the pearly gates in an unorganized fashion. She's being escorted by two healthy statue men wearing clean, white suits. She can't hide on her face she's confused, and wants to go home. She's about 5'7", normal/athletic build with natural curly, red hair. She has a southern twang and an independent country attitude.
SCENE 3
FADE IN
Ria Questions the men while being walked in the pearly gates of heaven.
Periodically resisting the two men, only when she takes her eyes of the beautiful Golden garden with every flower Bloomed at their fullest potential. She's never seen such a place.
RIA: Let go! I don't know who you think you are but I have things to do! Ahhh,
Do you hear me? What are you people lookin' at? Haven't you ever seen a ginger before?
Michael looks at Janice as she gives a smile and shakes her head as if she's seen this reaction many times.
MICHAEL: Who is that??
JANICE: Your accountability partner.
With a confused look he answers quickly.
MICHAEL: Accountability Partner??
Janice chuckles
JANICE: I make no mistakes
MICHAEL: You want me to.... Do what? Am I in trouble
Janice smiles then has a serious look on her face.
JANICE: No. I have an unfinished job I need you both to do.
Michael takes a deep breath in, and sarcastically says.
MICHAEL: Well, I guess just put it on my tab.
FADE OUT
First try at this, so if it's weird you won't hurt my feelings. lol.
- Alex
Comment Written 12-Apr-2017
Comment from Sankey
Funny mate! Another good one from ya Mikey! There is a fairly new fellow Aussie on FS now look for k something. Into poetry I think. have a look through my biography I think there are some chapters with revive Certificates on there. I know you looked at my Intro today or yesterday.
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Funny mate! Another good one from ya Mikey! There is a fairly new fellow Aussie on FS now look for k something. Into poetry I think. have a look through my biography I think there are some chapters with revive Certificates on there. I know you looked at my Intro today or yesterday.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2017
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Mikey. Excellent writing, my friend. I loved this line: "This isn't television. It's very rare. But we'll do our best, Ma'am." LOL
"I told you, Michael. Just be patient. (I just can't resist, my friend, He already is a patient)
I loved this clever bit too: "Michael glances in the corner and a dog, cat and rhesus monkey are playing dice with what appears to be Charles Darwin. The cat is winning and Darwin is squawking like a chicken and saying, "Cats can't read, I'm still right."
Good job, Mikey. Bless you, Bob
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Hi, Mikey. Excellent writing, my friend. I loved this line: "This isn't television. It's very rare. But we'll do our best, Ma'am." LOL
"I told you, Michael. Just be patient. (I just can't resist, my friend, He already is a patient)
I loved this clever bit too: "Michael glances in the corner and a dog, cat and rhesus monkey are playing dice with what appears to be Charles Darwin. The cat is winning and Darwin is squawking like a chicken and saying, "Cats can't read, I'm still right."
Good job, Mikey. Bless you, Bob
Comment Written 11-Apr-2017
Comment from robyn corum
Michael,
Very intriguing. I am curious to learn more about your concept of heaven. *smile* Of this aspect of it, anyway. haha I have to wonder who was in charge of it while your teacher was on earth, though. That's a puzzle.
Some notes:
1.) Who am I seeing(?)
2.) Now the add said, buxom
--> did you MEAN to say 'add'?
3.) She looks up with a wise (but) wry smirk on her face.
4.) This is just an aside, and you can take it or leave it, but the paragraph beginning with 'I'm jest doin' ma job mister.' (by the receptionist) seemed off-kilter to me. It was confusing and didn't seem to add to the story. I would consider either editing that or removing it from the story. But that's only my opinion and it may be there for a reason that I don't see yet...?
Thanks - entertaining!
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Michael,
Very intriguing. I am curious to learn more about your concept of heaven. *smile* Of this aspect of it, anyway. haha I have to wonder who was in charge of it while your teacher was on earth, though. That's a puzzle.
Some notes:
1.) Who am I seeing(?)
2.) Now the add said, buxom
--> did you MEAN to say 'add'?
3.) She looks up with a wise (but) wry smirk on her face.
4.) This is just an aside, and you can take it or leave it, but the paragraph beginning with 'I'm jest doin' ma job mister.' (by the receptionist) seemed off-kilter to me. It was confusing and didn't seem to add to the story. I would consider either editing that or removing it from the story. But that's only my opinion and it may be there for a reason that I don't see yet...?
Thanks - entertaining!
Comment Written 11-Apr-2017
Comment from Pantygynt
I found this fascinating. There is a god but each person has his or her own god. Now this has the idea of the three-in-one blown to blazes. So your ex teacher is the guise the god dons when dealing with you but it will be different for everyone. the common experience is that god will be familiar to us, so familiar that we won't recognize him/her/it when we are eventually brought face to face.
It is a fascinating idea. I wonder who mine will be.
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I found this fascinating. There is a god but each person has his or her own god. Now this has the idea of the three-in-one blown to blazes. So your ex teacher is the guise the god dons when dealing with you but it will be different for everyone. the common experience is that god will be familiar to us, so familiar that we won't recognize him/her/it when we are eventually brought face to face.
It is a fascinating idea. I wonder who mine will be.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2017
Comment from apky
One thing is for damn sure - your sense of humour beats them all.
I'm no accomplished (or anything else) script writer should there be a comma before the "sir"?:
>Through the door to your left, right there on your right sir. <
Thanks you for an enjoyable read and I'm sure to come back for
part 2.
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One thing is for damn sure - your sense of humour beats them all.
I'm no accomplished (or anything else) script writer should there be a comma before the "sir"?:
>Through the door to your left, right there on your right sir. <
Thanks you for an enjoyable read and I'm sure to come back for
part 2.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2017
