Did He Say Yes?
It's difficult when she isn't sure.20 total reviews
Comment from rjuselius
This is a lighthearted piece of prose dear anonymous! The story is really compelling and your characters live a life on their own.
Thanks dear friend for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings!
Rebekka x
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This is a lighthearted piece of prose dear anonymous! The story is really compelling and your characters live a life on their own.
Thanks dear friend for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 11-Apr-2017
Comment from Donya Quijote
I am not sure about this as it confused me just a bit. Perhaps that is the goal of this contest. It does appear that the two characters are indeed talking about different things and clearly do not understand the other.
The scene you have chosen is from early part of the novel, I think, when Mr. Darcy meets Elizabeth. I think you did a fine job capturing the character's pompousness. I am not sure who Angus is.
Good luck in the contest...
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I am not sure about this as it confused me just a bit. Perhaps that is the goal of this contest. It does appear that the two characters are indeed talking about different things and clearly do not understand the other.
The scene you have chosen is from early part of the novel, I think, when Mr. Darcy meets Elizabeth. I think you did a fine job capturing the character's pompousness. I am not sure who Angus is.
Good luck in the contest...
Comment Written 11-Apr-2017
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A very good contest entry. Contests are not easy to win, but I think this one has a chance. I hope you do well. The script deserves it.
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A very good contest entry. Contests are not easy to win, but I think this one has a chance. I hope you do well. The script deserves it.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2017
Comment from dmt1967
The five is because it is grammatically correct. Now for a few pointers... The first thing that struck me were words like 'sweetie.' If it is an adaptation of a Jane Ayre book, the word wasn't used then, well not in the way you use it. From my reading, to call a gentleman caller sweetie would be unthinkable. This is a good script except it was a bit boring, for me at least. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
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The five is because it is grammatically correct. Now for a few pointers... The first thing that struck me were words like 'sweetie.' If it is an adaptation of a Jane Ayre book, the word wasn't used then, well not in the way you use it. From my reading, to call a gentleman caller sweetie would be unthinkable. This is a good script except it was a bit boring, for me at least. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2017
Comment from Dean Kuch
I can say one thing for sure.
Mr. Darcy is most definitely a poet, at least judging from his over-dramatic verbiage and use of over-the-top ratiocination.
Most likely, he probably fancies himself a philosopher as well.
Poor Agnes, and in the immortal words of Forrest Gump: "And that's all I got to say 'bout that."
Best of luck to you in your contest.
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I can say one thing for sure.
Mr. Darcy is most definitely a poet, at least judging from his over-dramatic verbiage and use of over-the-top ratiocination.
Most likely, he probably fancies himself a philosopher as well.
Poor Agnes, and in the immortal words of Forrest Gump: "And that's all I got to say 'bout that."
Best of luck to you in your contest.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2017
Comment from Heidi M
A comedy of misunderstandings! You did a good job combining those passages. I imagine that was quite a challenge. I thought the 'food of love' and 'I can't cook' was really funny.
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A comedy of misunderstandings! You did a good job combining those passages. I imagine that was quite a challenge. I thought the 'food of love' and 'I can't cook' was really funny.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
I love P&P. I've read the book and seen all the movie versions. I must admit I don't know where you're going with this conversation, but my writing skills seem to be better than my comprehension. :)
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I love P&P. I've read the book and seen all the movie versions. I must admit I don't know where you're going with this conversation, but my writing skills seem to be better than my comprehension. :)
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
Comment from bmethner
That is quite a challenge meshing your dialogue with Pride and Prejudice. It did flow smoothly and Agnes's response easily depicted her as a flighty young girl with a mission on her mind. I can picture this scene. Each response from Agnes was appropriately placed into Mr. Darcy's conversation. Good luck with the contest. The artwork you picked was perfect.
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That is quite a challenge meshing your dialogue with Pride and Prejudice. It did flow smoothly and Agnes's response easily depicted her as a flighty young girl with a mission on her mind. I can picture this scene. Each response from Agnes was appropriately placed into Mr. Darcy's conversation. Good luck with the contest. The artwork you picked was perfect.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
'Did He Say Yes?'- the title certainly got my attention.
This is a good script.
The image is great. It's a lovely portrait and fits the script perfectly.
--I don't really think he wants to marry her.
Thanks for sharing this.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
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'Did He Say Yes?'- the title certainly got my attention.
This is a good script.
The image is great. It's a lovely portrait and fits the script perfectly.
--I don't really think he wants to marry her.
Thanks for sharing this.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
Comment from mbroyles2
Excellent way of telling a story with simple dialogue.
You bring the characters to life extremely well.
I enjoyed reading this.
Good luck in the contest.
Michael
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Excellent way of telling a story with simple dialogue.
You bring the characters to life extremely well.
I enjoyed reading this.
Good luck in the contest.
Michael
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
