Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Jungle Vines"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
6 total reviews
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
I really like this haiku, Kerry. It is particularly succinct as a haiku should be. The images are clear in the first two lines and you have a wonderful Satori. Good luck with it, Giddy
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2017
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I really like this haiku, Kerry. It is particularly succinct as a haiku should be. The images are clear in the first two lines and you have a wonderful Satori. Good luck with it, Giddy
Comment Written 10-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2017
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Thank you so much Giddy, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Commando
How incidental! That the Author should write of "Jungle Vines." I'm know as "Junglefightger" on FanStory. God! What awesome vines for me to swing on.
And the rain forest pulls me, " like a magnet!" And the monkeys playground is,
is my home, "away form home." Please, Lord! Lead me to the Smoky Mountains.
For my loin-cloth is tattered and worn! And may you bless this commendable Author. For she is your Angel, with wing of gold. An awesome message, Kerry! And I wish you, "Good health and happiness. forever and ever.
Respectfully,
Bill (Junglefithter).
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2017
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How incidental! That the Author should write of "Jungle Vines." I'm know as "Junglefightger" on FanStory. God! What awesome vines for me to swing on.
And the rain forest pulls me, " like a magnet!" And the monkeys playground is,
is my home, "away form home." Please, Lord! Lead me to the Smoky Mountains.
For my loin-cloth is tattered and worn! And may you bless this commendable Author. For she is your Angel, with wing of gold. An awesome message, Kerry! And I wish you, "Good health and happiness. forever and ever.
Respectfully,
Bill (Junglefithter).
Comment Written 10-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2017
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lol, don't forget to grab Jane as you swing on your vine Tarzan.
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Forget Jane! Not in a million years.
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I'll be whoever you want honey
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I love you!
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I love you too, wow, I was really behind on replies, where does my time go I wonder lol
Comment from Sis Cat
Kerry, this is a fine 3-3-4 haiku that resonated with me because I am now vacationing on a mountain above Puerto Vallarta. Vines are everywhere! We do not have monkeys here, but I can imagine them playing among the vines.
My only suggestion is to add a possessive apostrophe: monkeys' playground.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Kerry, this is a fine 3-3-4 haiku that resonated with me because I am now vacationing on a mountain above Puerto Vallarta. Vines are everywhere! We do not have monkeys here, but I can imagine them playing among the vines.
My only suggestion is to add a possessive apostrophe: monkeys' playground.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Lol, Thank you Andre, Maybe you just don't see the monkey's lol. Have a wonderful trip, enjoy my friend.
Comment from Rasmine
I like your 3-3-4. :P This is really cool and I love the photo. Without the picture, I could see monkeys swinging on the vines--like Tarzan's Cheeta. Where's Jane? :P
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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I like your 3-3-4. :P This is really cool and I love the photo. Without the picture, I could see monkeys swinging on the vines--like Tarzan's Cheeta. Where's Jane? :P
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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I Jane, Bill Tarzan lol, Thanks Rasmine I appreciate it.
Comment from Dean Kuch
While I enjoyed the word economy in this very much, Kerry, I do have a couple of issues with the overall composition.
For one, I don't notice a "kigo", or seasonal reference, at all.
Secondly, monkeys, meaning plural, or more than one, should read as follows:
monkeys'. Meaning that this play ground belongs to the monkeys. If you're just referring to a single monkey, even then it would read with an apostrophe "s":
monkey's.
But what are the odds that just one monkey would be using this playground?
Not very likely, LOL.
Add a kigo of some sort (rainy season, warm rain--whatever), then punctuate "monkeys" properly and you got it licked.
So sorry if my review drove you bananas. Heh-heh-heh...
~Dean
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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While I enjoyed the word economy in this very much, Kerry, I do have a couple of issues with the overall composition.
For one, I don't notice a "kigo", or seasonal reference, at all.
Secondly, monkeys, meaning plural, or more than one, should read as follows:
monkeys'. Meaning that this play ground belongs to the monkeys. If you're just referring to a single monkey, even then it would read with an apostrophe "s":
monkey's.
But what are the odds that just one monkey would be using this playground?
Not very likely, LOL.
Add a kigo of some sort (rainy season, warm rain--whatever), then punctuate "monkeys" properly and you got it licked.
So sorry if my review drove you bananas. Heh-heh-heh...
~Dean
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Aww, thanks Dean I'll fix that, I thought being on vines, which is nature was exceptable, probably spelt that wrong too, lol, I you think it shoul be more seasonable , I can fix, I go on chat in a bit.
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You're welcome, Kerry.
I am in chat now... :)
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
'Jungle Vines'- interesting title.
This Haiku poem follows the 3-3-4 format.
Each line is a correct syllable count.
Great image for this poem.
The author's notes are appreciated.- Thank you!
Thanks for sharing your poem.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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'Jungle Vines'- interesting title.
This Haiku poem follows the 3-3-4 format.
Each line is a correct syllable count.
Great image for this poem.
The author's notes are appreciated.- Thank you!
Thanks for sharing your poem.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Thank you, its much appreciated
