Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "haiku (red ivy leaves)"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
19 total reviews
Comment from mountainwriter49
Good Early Saturday Morning, MariVal,
I thoroughly enjoyed this beautiful haiku. It is classic--simple yet complex. It allows the reader to contemplate the words and to project his/her own thoughts onto the inscribed page.
The haiku is in excellent form. Two concrete images, red ivy leaves and white concrete wall, are juxtapositioned to create concrete images in the mind of the reader. It captures an observable moment in time--no desk haiku or abstractions here. Thus, the reader is free to breathe, think, ponder and create his/her own images. That's the joy and essence of Japanese short form. The satori is excellent.
The haiku strikes a strong emotive punch that lingers. I detect a blending of the sabi and wabi techniques with this poem. The contrasting of the colours of red and white add to this emotive feel.
Excellent work, and a good contribution to the HCBook.
-Ray
red ivy leaves
cover white walls -
tender hearts
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2017
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Good Early Saturday Morning, MariVal,
I thoroughly enjoyed this beautiful haiku. It is classic--simple yet complex. It allows the reader to contemplate the words and to project his/her own thoughts onto the inscribed page.
The haiku is in excellent form. Two concrete images, red ivy leaves and white concrete wall, are juxtapositioned to create concrete images in the mind of the reader. It captures an observable moment in time--no desk haiku or abstractions here. Thus, the reader is free to breathe, think, ponder and create his/her own images. That's the joy and essence of Japanese short form. The satori is excellent.
The haiku strikes a strong emotive punch that lingers. I detect a blending of the sabi and wabi techniques with this poem. The contrasting of the colours of red and white add to this emotive feel.
Excellent work, and a good contribution to the HCBook.
-Ray
red ivy leaves
cover white walls -
tender hearts
Comment Written 08-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2017
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thank you, Ray
Comment from sandy montgomery
I liked the presentation. Clever satori. Reminds me of the red bud trees my mom loved. Well constructed. Good flow to the verse with clear meaning. Thank you for sharing your work.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2017
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I liked the presentation. Clever satori. Reminds me of the red bud trees my mom loved. Well constructed. Good flow to the verse with clear meaning. Thank you for sharing your work.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2017
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Thank you very much for reading, my friend :) May your day be filled with laughter and joy.
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing another haiku about ivy. I enjoyed the vivid contrast of red against white and equating the shapes to hearts. Smiles- Joan
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2017
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Thank you for sharing another haiku about ivy. I enjoyed the vivid contrast of red against white and equating the shapes to hearts. Smiles- Joan
Comment Written 08-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2017
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Thank you very much for reading, my friend :) May your days and nights be filled with laughter and joy.
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<
Comment from nuthead
Now that is a very pretty visual. Ivy leaves do look heart-shaped, add an autumn red hue on a white wall and what a work of art.
Enjoyed your haiku very much. I accompanying image as well.
#
red ivy leaves
cover white walls -
tender hearts
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Now that is a very pretty visual. Ivy leaves do look heart-shaped, add an autumn red hue on a white wall and what a work of art.
Enjoyed your haiku very much. I accompanying image as well.
#
red ivy leaves
cover white walls -
tender hearts
Comment Written 07-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Thank you very much, my dear friend,
Thank you very much for reading, my friend :) May your day be filled with laughter and joy.
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
Comment from Ric Myworld
Thanks to you, I'll probably look at red Ivy leaves as tiny hearts from now on. As Shakespeare once said, "Nothing is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so." I guess, everything is about perspective and how we look at things. Thanks for sharing another fine poem. :-)
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Thanks to you, I'll probably look at red Ivy leaves as tiny hearts from now on. As Shakespeare once said, "Nothing is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so." I guess, everything is about perspective and how we look at things. Thanks for sharing another fine poem. :-)
Comment Written 07-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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LoL, thank you very much for the lovely review. You are very kind and I appreciate your feedback.
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
Comment from cumulus365
Very creative with this one. This ivy must be a variety of its own. Yours just give an idea about your simile of ivy to the heart. Since the ivy is red, the heart could be deemed as a bleeding heart of white corpse. This is purely simile.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Very creative with this one. This ivy must be a variety of its own. Yours just give an idea about your simile of ivy to the heart. Since the ivy is red, the heart could be deemed as a bleeding heart of white corpse. This is purely simile.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Hello, thank you very much for the lovely review. You are very kind and I appreciate your feedback.
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
Comment from MizKat
H Gypsy,
Your haiku poem was nice to read. I liked the picture with it's lovely red leaves. You are wonderful at writing this type of poetry and I love to read them.
Kat
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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H Gypsy,
Your haiku poem was nice to read. I liked the picture with it's lovely red leaves. You are wonderful at writing this type of poetry and I love to read them.
Kat
Comment Written 07-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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thank you
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You're very welcome. I always look forward to reading what you write. Kat
Comment from Dean Kuch
Very nice concrete imagery created in lines one and two of your haiku, MariVal.
These little leaves do look a lot like little red hearts.
The contrast of the white wall and crimson colored leaves creates a very strong, vivid image.
Your syllable count demonstrates excellent word economy, and the satori is a brilliant observation of the phrase in your haiku.
Awesome work, Sensei...
~Dean
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Very nice concrete imagery created in lines one and two of your haiku, MariVal.
These little leaves do look a lot like little red hearts.
The contrast of the white wall and crimson colored leaves creates a very strong, vivid image.
Your syllable count demonstrates excellent word economy, and the satori is a brilliant observation of the phrase in your haiku.
Awesome work, Sensei...
~Dean
Comment Written 07-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Hello, thank you very much for the lovely review. You are very kind and I appreciate your feedback.
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
Comment from Rasmine
Hello :)
I just woke up, and it's nice to read about nature when I get up. I really like that everyone liked my snake haiku and it's going in the anthology! Yay!! When I came here I knew nothing about poetry except what I liked.
Good morning to you! Wow, it's like 1 am there or 2am
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Hello :)
I just woke up, and it's nice to read about nature when I get up. I really like that everyone liked my snake haiku and it's going in the anthology! Yay!! When I came here I knew nothing about poetry except what I liked.
Good morning to you! Wow, it's like 1 am there or 2am
Comment Written 07-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Hello, thank you very much for the lovely review. You are very kind and I appreciate your feedback.
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
Comment from Hitcher
Tender hearts, I like that! The accompanying artwork rocks that line. the visuals conjured up are to cool for school, red on white... A blood fest, ha ha. That's just me and my mind friend, probably Dean's too ; ) Excellent!!
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Tender hearts, I like that! The accompanying artwork rocks that line. the visuals conjured up are to cool for school, red on white... A blood fest, ha ha. That's just me and my mind friend, probably Dean's too ; ) Excellent!!
Comment Written 07-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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yes... hahaha ... I get it. I just posted a horror haiku. I don't know if you knew that Dean Kuch and I write horror haiku books. It's really cool. We can talk about it sometime.
Thank you for reading, my friend.
Gypsy Sensei
