Tanka Waka
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Tanka~Home Is Where My Heart Is"A collection of Japanese short poetry
69 total reviews
Comment from pharp
Dean,
This is a very lovely Tanka you have penned, this really touched my heart. There's a special place in my heart when we talk about the many who served and the many who gave their lives for our freedom. Your author's notes were very informative and gives one the insight to see how war destroys the lives of so many. My husband loves history and should have been a teacher. Thanks for sharing....Blessings...Portia
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
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Dean,
This is a very lovely Tanka you have penned, this really touched my heart. There's a special place in my heart when we talk about the many who served and the many who gave their lives for our freedom. Your author's notes were very informative and gives one the insight to see how war destroys the lives of so many. My husband loves history and should have been a teacher. Thanks for sharing....Blessings...Portia
Comment Written 03-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
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Mine too.
I was one of 'em.
Thanks for the R&R.
~Dean
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is a lovely piece, Dean. Tanka do not typically use punctuation or capital letters so you may want to look at that, my friend, Interesting author notes~Debbie
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
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This is a lovely piece, Dean. Tanka do not typically use punctuation or capital letters so you may want to look at that, my friend, Interesting author notes~Debbie
Comment Written 03-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
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No, you're dead wrong there, Debbie.
Contemporary tanka poets frequently use punctuation and capitalization, with all due respect.
Check out these recent contest winners from the an accredited website, The Tanka Society of America:
First Place ($100)
I keep telling myself
that it means don't cry--
my D&C
at the doctor's office
a routine procedure
Susan Burch
Hagerstown, Maryland
Second Place ($50)
Holy Week . . .
in my Christmas wreath
two wrens nesting
as if to remind me
this house was once our home
Margaret Dornaus
Ozark, Arkansas
Here's the link to their website if you're interested:
Tanka Society of America Contest Winners
Thanks for reading...
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Dean, the caps are proper words and there aren't periods, commas. They aren't sentences, my friend~Debbie
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You're still wrong.
Read further, you'll see.
There is no "right" or "wrong" way to write tanka other than to keep them under 31 syllables.
You do them your way, and I'll do them mine.
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Respectfully, of course...
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Below is a Choka taken from Kenneth Yasuda's book, "The Japanese Haiku".
O' palace maiden
the daughter of my subject,
Do you bring a wine holder?
If you hold it up,
Oh, hold it in your hands;
oh, hold it firmly,
ever firmly in your hands;
O' you wind holding maiden.
In the above, this Choka appears to be written in a 5-7-7-5-7-5-7-7 onji format, varying from the norm in only line three. Actually, what we have here is a Choka composed by combining a Katauta in the form of a question with a Tanka poem in amplifying expression. This is considered to be a Choka, but within this Choka, one can find evidence that the early Japanese poets were not averse to combining poetic forms; so long as the basic unit of structure remained within the 17-19 onji range. So the answer to the question of whether or not Tanka poetry utilizes punctuation is made moot by this example...a published example at that.
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Respectfully, Dean, there are exceptions and my original statement said 'typically' which I think remains the case~Debbie
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Okay, we'll just agree to disagree and leave it at that.
Deal?
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Deal!
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:)
Comment from nuthead
"My heart stays tethered" creates a beautiful image, a tether that reaches and stretches far beyond the normal confines.
"Each day I survive for you" brings it home that he is not physically in her loving arms, but feels he is. Wow. Good stuff.
"Two new pieces of research into the First World War claim that previous figures for the conflict's death toll and the numbers who suffered from shell shock have been vastly underestimated. " --- Of this I have no doubt.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
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"My heart stays tethered" creates a beautiful image, a tether that reaches and stretches far beyond the normal confines.
"Each day I survive for you" brings it home that he is not physically in her loving arms, but feels he is. Wow. Good stuff.
"Two new pieces of research into the First World War claim that previous figures for the conflict's death toll and the numbers who suffered from shell shock have been vastly underestimated. " --- Of this I have no doubt.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
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Thanks very much for reading my tanka, Shirley.
I appreciate your review.
~Dean
Comment from frierajac
My favorite writer, a British poet, survived WWI. I am reading a biography about him now. R. Graves. i had heard and forgotten the statistics about casualties. Thanks
for reminding me.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2017
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My favorite writer, a British poet, survived WWI. I am reading a biography about him now. R. Graves. i had heard and forgotten the statistics about casualties. Thanks
for reminding me.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2017
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Thank you for taking the time to read them, firerajac.
Many do not.
Enjoy your Sunday...
~Dean
Comment from JanetRussek
Gosh, Dean, I don't know what to say. This piece is so touching. I think it hits home more, when you've actually lost loved ones throughout the wars this country's ben through. It's just different some how, ya know. So many lost and forgotten. Some, you never got the chance to know. I pray for those precious people, every day.
Warm Regards,
Janet
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2017
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Gosh, Dean, I don't know what to say. This piece is so touching. I think it hits home more, when you've actually lost loved ones throughout the wars this country's ben through. It's just different some how, ya know. So many lost and forgotten. Some, you never got the chance to know. I pray for those precious people, every day.
Warm Regards,
Janet
Comment Written 02-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2017
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Thank you very much for reading my tanka, Janet, and for the six stars as well.
I'm a relative newcomer to this form of poetry so I vow to do much better in the future.
Take care, and thanks so much again.
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You're so funny! No one could do better, Bozo. You're amazing. OMG, you can make me laugh. If I only had your talent for the wonderful expression of feelings and thoughts that you have. Pleas do not EVER leave this site.
Regards
Comment from krys123
Hello, Dean;
-thank you, is I was amazed by your author's notes which is so efficiently composed in the information it contains overwhelm me with the knowledge of the deaths and the rations of each individual soldier. I got so lost in the author's notes I had to go back up and reread the tanka. Which by the way, is brilliantly written.
-The formal structure and technique of this tanka is perfect and the pivot line says it all "I'll remain right here". This could be determined as where he was when he was in the trenches or his mind was really back home with the one he loved while he was in the trenches fighting the Germans or vice a versa.
-The pictures is a very old-fashioned photograph and perfect for this era of tanka that you composed.
-Sorry I haven't any more sixes in my coffer because everything formulated in this tanka is exceptional.
-Thanks for sharing and take care and have a good one my friend.
Alex
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
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Hello, Dean;
-thank you, is I was amazed by your author's notes which is so efficiently composed in the information it contains overwhelm me with the knowledge of the deaths and the rations of each individual soldier. I got so lost in the author's notes I had to go back up and reread the tanka. Which by the way, is brilliantly written.
-The formal structure and technique of this tanka is perfect and the pivot line says it all "I'll remain right here". This could be determined as where he was when he was in the trenches or his mind was really back home with the one he loved while he was in the trenches fighting the Germans or vice a versa.
-The pictures is a very old-fashioned photograph and perfect for this era of tanka that you composed.
-Sorry I haven't any more sixes in my coffer because everything formulated in this tanka is exceptional.
-Thanks for sharing and take care and have a good one my friend.
Alex
Comment Written 01-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
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I'm not worried about sixes, Alex. The fact that you toook the time to read and comment positively on my tanka is reward enough for me.
Thanks again for reading, my friend.
Enjoy what's left of your weekend.
~Dean
Comment from rtobaygo
Hello, again
I enjoy your poems as much as I do the occasional history lessons. Being a history major I find the presentation of the information extremely informative.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
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Hello, again
I enjoy your poems as much as I do the occasional history lessons. Being a history major I find the presentation of the information extremely informative.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
Comment Written 01-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
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Well, that's great to know, Ray, and thank you very much for reading and commenting on this.
Enjoy the remainder of your weekend, my friend.
~Dean
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Since I am a retired military spouse, I'm retired because my husband retired after 23 years. I completely understand. I haven't counted how many times I kissed my husband good bye as he left for a deployment. I think it was at least 5 times; once Desert Shield, Desert Storm, once to Columbia, oh! yea, we don't have troops there. and then 3 times to Afghanistan. Our oldest son has been to Afghanistan 5 times. I pray we don't get into any more wars.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2017
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Since I am a retired military spouse, I'm retired because my husband retired after 23 years. I completely understand. I haven't counted how many times I kissed my husband good bye as he left for a deployment. I think it was at least 5 times; once Desert Shield, Desert Storm, once to Columbia, oh! yea, we don't have troops there. and then 3 times to Afghanistan. Our oldest son has been to Afghanistan 5 times. I pray we don't get into any more wars.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2017
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I pray we don't either, Barbara.
Thank you...
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
Beautiful love note for those who wait and those who War. A book of real letters from those days would be fabulous and heart wrenching to read. You have done the form proud. Author's notes: Should read, "Their usual meal. . ." - Wendy
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
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Beautiful love note for those who wait and those who War. A book of real letters from those days would be fabulous and heart wrenching to read. You have done the form proud. Author's notes: Should read, "Their usual meal. . ." - Wendy
Comment Written 01-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
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Thanks, Wendy.
I'll look into that.
Enjoy the day today.
~Dean
Comment from Mark Valentine
Great author's notes - WWI has been out of the spotlight for some time now, but it's worth remembering how countries stumbled into it and the price the world paid. At the height of the cold war, JFK made all his advisors read "The Guns of August" to make sure they kept the lessons of that war in mind as they walked the thin line between war and peace.
As for your poem - the word "tethered", to me, is the key. I've never served overseas, but I imagine that home is always with those that do, and I know how important letters from home are. I also like the thought that, in the big picture, what is being fought for is an ideology, but on the individual level, survival is a pretty important goal too.
The contrast between "cruel war" and warm love is well-communicated here in just a few short words.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
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Great author's notes - WWI has been out of the spotlight for some time now, but it's worth remembering how countries stumbled into it and the price the world paid. At the height of the cold war, JFK made all his advisors read "The Guns of August" to make sure they kept the lessons of that war in mind as they walked the thin line between war and peace.
As for your poem - the word "tethered", to me, is the key. I've never served overseas, but I imagine that home is always with those that do, and I know how important letters from home are. I also like the thought that, in the big picture, what is being fought for is an ideology, but on the individual level, survival is a pretty important goal too.
The contrast between "cruel war" and warm love is well-communicated here in just a few short words.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
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President Kennedy was a very smart man, Mark.
Thanks for reading, and for the positive feedback.
I'm very grateful.
Enjoy your weekend.
~Dean
