Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "haiku (sunlight stirs up storms)"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
6 total reviews
Comment from marybell1
I enjoyed reading your 5-7-5 haiku. That is the only style I like. You told your story well. Unfortunately we do not know exactly what is killing off the beautiful corals around the world.
Best of luck.
Marybell1.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2017
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I enjoyed reading your 5-7-5 haiku. That is the only style I like. You told your story well. Unfortunately we do not know exactly what is killing off the beautiful corals around the world.
Best of luck.
Marybell1.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your review.
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You are most welcome.
Marybell1.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, my friend :)
You have the customary 5/7/5 syllabic count but the poem doesn't flow.
Let's see what we can do...
sun warms currents
across turbulent seas --
coral reefs bleach white
Your sashei haiku is a lovely observation of the effect the sun has on sea and land, expressed in a beautiful poetic way. Good job, honey,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2017
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Hello, my friend :)
You have the customary 5/7/5 syllabic count but the poem doesn't flow.
Let's see what we can do...
sun warms currents
across turbulent seas --
coral reefs bleach white
Your sashei haiku is a lovely observation of the effect the sun has on sea and land, expressed in a beautiful poetic way. Good job, honey,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Comment Written 31-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your review and insight.
Comment from oliver818
I like your haiku, it's small yet powerful, the way good haikus should be. But it's deep too with the bleached coral reefs due to exposure to the sun. Thanks for sharing and have a great day
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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I like your haiku, it's small yet powerful, the way good haikus should be. But it's deep too with the bleached coral reefs due to exposure to the sun. Thanks for sharing and have a great day
Comment Written 30-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very nicely written Haiku! You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with the words and the picture. I enjoyed reading and reviewing it. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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This is a very nicely written Haiku! You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with the words and the picture. I enjoyed reading and reviewing it. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 30-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from webfoot
This stirs emotion with the good use of the senses, Mark. You managed that plus the personification of "sunlight" in such a restrictive poetic format. Well done
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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This stirs emotion with the good use of the senses, Mark. You managed that plus the personification of "sunlight" in such a restrictive poetic format. Well done
Comment Written 30-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Your words bring to mind the crazy storms that are cropping up all over the world. Friends from Australia just went through a cyclone, and people in Texas are seeing tornadoes rip through all the way up to Indiana. Thank you for sharing this well structured piece about the storms that plague us,
~patty~
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Your words bring to mind the crazy storms that are cropping up all over the world. Friends from Australia just went through a cyclone, and people in Texas are seeing tornadoes rip through all the way up to Indiana. Thank you for sharing this well structured piece about the storms that plague us,
~patty~
Comment Written 30-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your review.
