2018 Bernie and Howie Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Bernie gets into trouble"...stories and poems about the boys
41 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
He's sorry. I enjoyed your story. You did a great job describing the situation. Your lines flow well & tell a great & true story.
I have a kitty who got into a cabinet in a kitchen. He tried to get out fast. But first the large salad bowl fell to the floor & broke in a bazillion pieces. That kitty is still with me. I love 'em all. Great POV from Bernie. Just like a dog might tell.
Thanks for sharing & caring. Jan
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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He's sorry. I enjoyed your story. You did a great job describing the situation. Your lines flow well & tell a great & true story.
I have a kitty who got into a cabinet in a kitchen. He tried to get out fast. But first the large salad bowl fell to the floor & broke in a bazillion pieces. That kitty is still with me. I love 'em all. Great POV from Bernie. Just like a dog might tell.
Thanks for sharing & caring. Jan
Comment Written 30-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. My hubby said it was an ugly vase anyway. He thanked Bernie for breaking it. LOL!
~patty~
Comment from damommy
Awww, poor Bernie. He didn't mean to do something bad. Don't fuss at him.
I enjoyed this so much. Dogs, and cats, are funny when they're sleeping sometimes. I once had a Great Dane that made these little puppy sounds in his sleep instead of the booming voice usually heard. And I have a cat now that snores like a sawmill.
At best, Bernie was trying to protect you. He needs a hug for that. 8-)
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Awww, poor Bernie. He didn't mean to do something bad. Don't fuss at him.
I enjoyed this so much. Dogs, and cats, are funny when they're sleeping sometimes. I once had a Great Dane that made these little puppy sounds in his sleep instead of the booming voice usually heard. And I have a cat now that snores like a sawmill.
At best, Bernie was trying to protect you. He needs a hug for that. 8-)
Comment Written 30-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Hi, thank you for stopping by to read and review. I do know that Bernie does his best to be a good boy. As I write now, he is laying on the back of the couch to guard me from anything that may walk in the door - including my hubby!
~patty~
Comment from frierajac
It is a fun read, thanks so much. I don't know if you are a reading fan? There is
a famous ( because the author won the NOBEL prize) book of poems, "The Monologue of a Dog", one of which reminds me of the one you have here.
I can't see anyway to improve this, except to make more like it.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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It is a fun read, thanks so much. I don't know if you are a reading fan? There is
a famous ( because the author won the NOBEL prize) book of poems, "The Monologue of a Dog", one of which reminds me of the one you have here.
I can't see anyway to improve this, except to make more like it.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you for stopping by to read and review. I'm very flattered that my work reminds you of anything by a NOBEL prize winner. My goodness! I will continue to write Bernie and Howie stories - they give me so much material!
~patty~
Comment from smreel
I like stories about dogs and their naughty nature. I'm so glad you wrote this instead of yelling at your dog;) I love the dog's POV, but it broke a few times when the Mistress listened and watched him while he was asleep. Cute story.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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I like stories about dogs and their naughty nature. I'm so glad you wrote this instead of yelling at your dog;) I love the dog's POV, but it broke a few times when the Mistress listened and watched him while he was asleep. Cute story.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you for stopping by to read and review. I did break from the dog's point of view in there. I was going for the omniscient view. But it looks like I failed,
~patty~
Comment from Bichon
Uh oh, Bernie! Don't worry, we all have dreams like that, not sure about that vase though, whoops!
Haha, really enjoyed this one, your dog stories always catch my attention and make me laugh!
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Uh oh, Bernie! Don't worry, we all have dreams like that, not sure about that vase though, whoops!
Haha, really enjoyed this one, your dog stories always catch my attention and make me laugh!
Comment Written 30-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you for stopping by to read and review. Bernie and Howie stories are inspired by my best buddies. They are always entertaining. The vase was a casualty, but my hubby said it was ugly anyway.
~patty~
Comment from oliver818
Nice story, very funny and typical of dogs! I like the way you describe Bernie as if he could understand, very interesting. Thanks for sharing and have a great day
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Nice story, very funny and typical of dogs! I like the way you describe Bernie as if he could understand, very interesting. Thanks for sharing and have a great day
Comment Written 30-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you for stopping by to read and review. I love writing about Howie and Bernie - they are always a source of inspiration,
~patty~
Comment from TheWriteTeach
The very first thing I have to say is that I love the picture. This little guy's face just screams 'I'm innocent!' LOL I had a dog that loved to lick the ears clean of my other dogs. But my guys loved it. I was surprised that Bernie hated it! I have say, poor Bernie. He ended up in trouble just because he tried to save his mistress! I think we've all had those kind of days and can identify with Bernie!
This grabbed the interest right away. You had good verbal and physical action, throughout, that moved the story along. Nothing slowed or stalled out the story. You had good transitions from paragraph to paragraph, making for a smooth read. There was no need to reread for clarification. The ending was written in a manner that didn't require an explicit explanation of what happened for the reader to understand what took place. The last sentence provided a strong impact on the reader and elicited great sympathy for Bernie. Nice job.
There were a few things I wanted to bring to your attention:
He curled (past) up at her feet after turning (present) in a circle several times. (An unnecessary shift in tenses. A slight reword will make it 'past' tense, such as: He curled up at her feet after he turned in a circle several times.)
Sitting (present) at the screen on her desk, the Mistress was humming (present) along with the music. Bernie loved (past) to hear her sweet melodic tone. (Unnecessary shifts between past and present tenses)
Laying (present) on the soft fabric of the slippers, Bernie settled (past) in for a little snooze. (Unnecessary shift in past and present tenses. First, 'laying' is present tense meaning to put or place something down. You need lay, past tense, which means 'to rest or recline.' To make your sentence past tense, reword, such as - He lay on the soft fabric of the slippers and settled in for a little snooze. Of course, use your own words.)
Falling (present) into a doggy snooze, Bernie let his body relax. His little whip of a tail didn't move, but his face twitched (past) in his sleep. (Unnecessary shift in tenses. A slight reword will make it past tense, such as - 'Bernie fell into a doggie snooze, and his body relaxed.' Again, use your own words so it's your voice. )
made sure she didn't kick the sleeping (present) heap of gray at her feet. (Unnecessary shift in tense. Reword, such as - and made sure she didn't kick the heap of gray that slept at her feet.')
The tense shifts examples were from the first half of the story only. The shifts continue throughout the piece, but I didn't feel the need to list them all because you are a good writer, and I'm sure you get what I was talking about.
I love dog stories - keep sharing the mischievous tales of Bernie and Howie.
Suzanne
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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The very first thing I have to say is that I love the picture. This little guy's face just screams 'I'm innocent!' LOL I had a dog that loved to lick the ears clean of my other dogs. But my guys loved it. I was surprised that Bernie hated it! I have say, poor Bernie. He ended up in trouble just because he tried to save his mistress! I think we've all had those kind of days and can identify with Bernie!
This grabbed the interest right away. You had good verbal and physical action, throughout, that moved the story along. Nothing slowed or stalled out the story. You had good transitions from paragraph to paragraph, making for a smooth read. There was no need to reread for clarification. The ending was written in a manner that didn't require an explicit explanation of what happened for the reader to understand what took place. The last sentence provided a strong impact on the reader and elicited great sympathy for Bernie. Nice job.
There were a few things I wanted to bring to your attention:
He curled (past) up at her feet after turning (present) in a circle several times. (An unnecessary shift in tenses. A slight reword will make it 'past' tense, such as: He curled up at her feet after he turned in a circle several times.)
Sitting (present) at the screen on her desk, the Mistress was humming (present) along with the music. Bernie loved (past) to hear her sweet melodic tone. (Unnecessary shifts between past and present tenses)
Laying (present) on the soft fabric of the slippers, Bernie settled (past) in for a little snooze. (Unnecessary shift in past and present tenses. First, 'laying' is present tense meaning to put or place something down. You need lay, past tense, which means 'to rest or recline.' To make your sentence past tense, reword, such as - He lay on the soft fabric of the slippers and settled in for a little snooze. Of course, use your own words.)
Falling (present) into a doggy snooze, Bernie let his body relax. His little whip of a tail didn't move, but his face twitched (past) in his sleep. (Unnecessary shift in tenses. A slight reword will make it past tense, such as - 'Bernie fell into a doggie snooze, and his body relaxed.' Again, use your own words so it's your voice. )
made sure she didn't kick the sleeping (present) heap of gray at her feet. (Unnecessary shift in tense. Reword, such as - and made sure she didn't kick the heap of gray that slept at her feet.')
The tense shifts examples were from the first half of the story only. The shifts continue throughout the piece, but I didn't feel the need to list them all because you are a good writer, and I'm sure you get what I was talking about.
I love dog stories - keep sharing the mischievous tales of Bernie and Howie.
Suzanne
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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Thank you for sharing your insightful comments. I will go and edit for tense. Thank you for pointing out the places I need to pay attention to,
~patty~
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hi Patty,
Poor Bernie, he IS having a bad day, isn't he?
I love how you seem to get into his mind to describe his day. It could be my JoJo. Small dogs are priceless, aren't they?
Love,
Sonali
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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Hi Patty,
Poor Bernie, he IS having a bad day, isn't he?
I love how you seem to get into his mind to describe his day. It could be my JoJo. Small dogs are priceless, aren't they?
Love,
Sonali
Comment Written 29-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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Thank you for stopping by to read and review. I love writing from my dogs' perspectives. They have way more insight than people do!
~patty~
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Patty I am a small dog lover. I mean I love dogs, but small dogs have my heart. Sounds like Bernie is a great little dog. I had a small female long haired Chihuahua and terrier mix. She was a very beautiful dog and quite smart. I got her on a Monday night, took her to the vet the next morning. They weighed her, she only came in at 4lbs 2ozs. Very under weight. Her fecal test came back clean and she got her shots. The receptionist asked what I wanted to name her, I named her *Little Girl*, because she was so small. I had her for four and a half years when she was killed by a speeding car at 11pm on a Sunday night.
Patty, she was my life, like my child. I cooked for her and she ate at times, better then I did. This is a great story and I'm so glad you shared this with us my friend,,,,,,Jim
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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Patty I am a small dog lover. I mean I love dogs, but small dogs have my heart. Sounds like Bernie is a great little dog. I had a small female long haired Chihuahua and terrier mix. She was a very beautiful dog and quite smart. I got her on a Monday night, took her to the vet the next morning. They weighed her, she only came in at 4lbs 2ozs. Very under weight. Her fecal test came back clean and she got her shots. The receptionist asked what I wanted to name her, I named her *Little Girl*, because she was so small. I had her for four and a half years when she was killed by a speeding car at 11pm on a Sunday night.
Patty, she was my life, like my child. I cooked for her and she ate at times, better then I did. This is a great story and I'm so glad you shared this with us my friend,,,,,,Jim
Comment Written 29-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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thank you for sharing your story with me. I'm sure the loss of Little Girl is still with you. Losing a pet is much worse than most losses, because they are so close to our hearts,
~patty~
Comment from Dean Kuch
Well, as long as Bernie is still under the couch, he won't be breaking anything else, Patty.
Ya see?
This well written little canine conundrum of a tail ...e-r-r-r, heh-heh..., (I mean tale of course), just goes to prove that tried but true theory that behind every dark cloud there truly is a silver lining...
~Dean :}
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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Well, as long as Bernie is still under the couch, he won't be breaking anything else, Patty.
Ya see?
This well written little canine conundrum of a tail ...e-r-r-r, heh-heh..., (I mean tale of course), just goes to prove that tried but true theory that behind every dark cloud there truly is a silver lining...
~Dean :}
Comment Written 29-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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Yes, there is a silver lining. Bernie's little furry body survived the crash, and I survived without the vase. My hubby says it was ugly anyway. Thank you for reading this little story and for sharing your comments - always love to hear from you.
~patty~
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You bet, my pleasure as always, Patty.
~Dean
