Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "haibun (poppy field dream)"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
21 total reviews
Comment from Sis Cat
Oooh, Gypsy, I love your elegant and complex Haibun. Given that my mother passed away five years ago, I feel your prose section evokes an adult child packing up her mother's home after her death. You are right. When you pack up after a death there is "Grief of too many endings?" The future in unknown, and we may miss the home and the warmth of our mothers.
Your haiku made me think of the yellow brick road through a poppy field of The Wizard of Oz and how Dorothy was trying to find her way home. I sense in your poem you can't go back because the home you knew no longer exists.
Thank you for sharing your exceptional talent again.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2017
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Oooh, Gypsy, I love your elegant and complex Haibun. Given that my mother passed away five years ago, I feel your prose section evokes an adult child packing up her mother's home after her death. You are right. When you pack up after a death there is "Grief of too many endings?" The future in unknown, and we may miss the home and the warmth of our mothers.
Your haiku made me think of the yellow brick road through a poppy field of The Wizard of Oz and how Dorothy was trying to find her way home. I sense in your poem you can't go back because the home you knew no longer exists.
Thank you for sharing your exceptional talent again.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2017
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Thank you very much, my dear, friend, my mother died when I was ten but I still feel the emptiness she left in my life. Nobody loves like a mother. I have been feeling sad and a little overwhelmed by moving alone. All my family and even my boyfriend are far away from me right now and I have to move in less than a week. All is well and I hired two men to help me with the move but still.... the little girl in my wants mama. You know?
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson
Hello Gypsy, a wonderful Haibun. A bit sad, but beautiful. Wonderful pictures of poppy fields; I won't tell you it reminds me of Wizard of Oz again. lol
~Kerry~
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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Hello Gypsy, a wonderful Haibun. A bit sad, but beautiful. Wonderful pictures of poppy fields; I won't tell you it reminds me of Wizard of Oz again. lol
~Kerry~
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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Thank you very much, my dear friend,
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
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Your very welcome
Comment from Mark Schardine
Many people spout the cliché of "You can't go home again." and believe they are saying something clever. In truth, the thought of a home we will never find again will always upset us.
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Many people spout the cliché of "You can't go home again." and believe they are saying something clever. In truth, the thought of a home we will never find again will always upset us.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
Comment from Grasshopper2
MariVal,
I really like this snapshot of the intimate you. Your description adds to the feeling conveyed. Lonesome, overwhelmed, sad; feelings everyone has had but that is not the same as what one, you, feel. Well done.
Michael
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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MariVal,
I really like this snapshot of the intimate you. Your description adds to the feeling conveyed. Lonesome, overwhelmed, sad; feelings everyone has had but that is not the same as what one, you, feel. Well done.
Michael
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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Thank you, my friend, I am glad you read my haibun with an open heart. You got it.
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
Comment from Ric Myworld
When I first looked up and saw those pretty red poppy flowers again, I didn't know if it was a dream, or I was having a flashback. Seriously, I was never the type for much experimentation with anything to alter my mind. I'm just a silly boy who thinks laughter is the best medicine. So, I often laugh at even things that I shouldn't. But never do I mean any disrespect. Thanks for sharing another fine poem. :-)
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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When I first looked up and saw those pretty red poppy flowers again, I didn't know if it was a dream, or I was having a flashback. Seriously, I was never the type for much experimentation with anything to alter my mind. I'm just a silly boy who thinks laughter is the best medicine. So, I often laugh at even things that I shouldn't. But never do I mean any disrespect. Thanks for sharing another fine poem. :-)
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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Thank you very much, my dear friend,
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
Comment from Marykelly
The only way back to the past is through memories and as much as we would sometimes like to recreate past times we can only do so in our minds. Sometimes that's enough comfort and sometimes it is not. For the speaker in this poem, it is not, yet she realizes that there is no return. Time is a one way street.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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The only way back to the past is through memories and as much as we would sometimes like to recreate past times we can only do so in our minds. Sometimes that's enough comfort and sometimes it is not. For the speaker in this poem, it is not, yet she realizes that there is no return. Time is a one way street.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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Thank you very much, my dear friend,
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
Comment from robyn corum
Gypsy,
I really liked the prose portion of this haibun. Thanks for sharing that. It was heart-felt and the emotion really came through. I had some problems with the haiku, though. First, this is supposed to be about flowers, but I didn't see any actual reference to them IN the haiku? Your mention of them in the notes is the only reason they would come to mind other than the photo. Also, use of the word 'no' twice broke my thoughts.
Those are merely my honest thoughts but I know this haiku has great meaning to you, so you are welcome to chuck them into the nearest trash can. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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Gypsy,
I really liked the prose portion of this haibun. Thanks for sharing that. It was heart-felt and the emotion really came through. I had some problems with the haiku, though. First, this is supposed to be about flowers, but I didn't see any actual reference to them IN the haiku? Your mention of them in the notes is the only reason they would come to mind other than the photo. Also, use of the word 'no' twice broke my thoughts.
Those are merely my honest thoughts but I know this haiku has great meaning to you, so you are welcome to chuck them into the nearest trash can. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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I changed the top line to = poppy field dream
Thank you very much, my dear friend,
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
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So much clearer!
Comment from moonsunrise
Your beautifully illustrated and expressed chapter really touched my heart. How one yearns to be with their loved one who has passed. I can feel the emotion of your packing up to leave the house and the anxiety of of the unknown. Know that your mother is always with you even though she is no longer present in this world she is present in your heart, soul and spirit.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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Your beautifully illustrated and expressed chapter really touched my heart. How one yearns to be with their loved one who has passed. I can feel the emotion of your packing up to leave the house and the anxiety of of the unknown. Know that your mother is always with you even though she is no longer present in this world she is present in your heart, soul and spirit.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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Thank you very much, my dear friend,
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
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My pleasure!
Comment from Ulla
Hola guapa, it's a lovely haibun and I can see it means a lot to you and I can understand that. Your haiku as a stand alone is outstanding. But to be honest, I can't see it has a lot to do with flowers. Apart from the picture. Un besito. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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Hola guapa, it's a lovely haibun and I can see it means a lot to you and I can understand that. Your haiku as a stand alone is outstanding. But to be honest, I can't see it has a lot to do with flowers. Apart from the picture. Un besito. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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I changed the top line to = poppy field dream
Thank you very much, my dear friend,
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
Comment from DR DIP
What a beautiful picture Gypsy. I loved your introduction before your haiku for it's so true Memories packed away in boxes. Fond memories as a child and early life now hidden in cardboard. Thanks for sharing
dip
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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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What a beautiful picture Gypsy. I loved your introduction before your haiku for it's so true Memories packed away in boxes. Fond memories as a child and early life now hidden in cardboard. Thanks for sharing
dip
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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Thank you very much, my dear friend,
namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor and poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
<>o<> Haiku 201 starts on April 5th<>o<>
~<>o<> Haiga starts on May 1st <>o<>~
